Thursday, 9 June 2016

How To Tell If You've Fallen For A Total Narcissist

Hey Schneckens!
I bet you didn't expect to hear from me today and you wouldn't be alone in thinking that! I suddenly have a burst of creativity and ideas and I want to share them with the world. This sensation tends to only last for a few days though, so I wouldn't get too excited or worried! Also, listen to X Ambassadors' Eye of The Storm right now. It's incredible!

So you've clicked on here for a reason and that's to find out how you can tell if you've fallen for a total narcissist. Or dick. They're usually total dicks as well. What are we waiting for?! Oh right, I am the one typing. Alright, let's do this.

How To Tell If You've Fallen For A Total Narcissist:

1. At first, they sweet talk you until you get love diabetes ~ Metaphorically. It's a piss poor one, albeit, but it's a metaphor somehow. Basically, at first, they are so nice and sweet to you that you kinda start thinking - hey, this person is actually great. Why am I not humping their leg right now because clearly they are so lovely and are so into me! We're not dogs, but to the narcissist in question, they view us as that and they keep sweet talking us the way they would praise the dog.

2. Then they cast you aside ~ They love power our dear ol' narcissist and if they can play you like a game and win, they will play. Even if this is not a game to you and you had no intentions of playing because you genuinely liked them and thought they did too. But nah, they're more hot and cold than that Katy Perry song.

3. They make you cry. A lot. ~ For whatever reason, your tears make them feel like they're a god. The fact that they mean so much to you and they know that. They're power hungry bastards!

4. They brag about themselves ~ Whether it's a big dick or how much money they make, they won't shy away from parading themselves around. Even if you didn't ask for how big his penis or how much money she makes, somehow they'll drop it into a conversation. Yeesh.

5. They call/view themselves as God ~ Looking at you, Kanye..

6. They don't listen ~ They're so up in their own arse, that they can't hear anything but the shit they produce. Well, at least when it comes to criticism because the moment you compliment them and feed that ego, they sudden have the ability to hear and form a [one sided] conversation... about themselves.

7. Little empathy ~ As long as they're winning at something, they won't care who gets hurt in the process.

8. They need all the admiration ~ Different from the bragging, they need someone to feed their bragging. They need someone to tell them they are hot so they can go up to the next person and parade their so called hotness. It's a really shit domino theory.

9. Thinks they are better than EVERYONE ~  they have fantasies of and preoccupied with beauty, brilliance, ideal love, power, or unlimited success and a belief of being special and unique and can only be understood or a need to associate with people of high status. But even then, they still think they're better, even if Stephen Hawking is in the room.

10. They agree with what Kanye says ~ For fuck's sake, NO ONE AGREES WITH KANYE EXCEPT KANYE!

And there you have it! A list of how you might have fallen for a Narcissist. Good luck with that, when you leave them, I'll throw you party! And if you're into the narcissist still, I'll still throw you a party because love is love regardless!

Toodles :)