Saturday, 1 August 2015

Why Rom-Coms Are The Absolute Worst

Hey there, Schneckens!
Unlike a relationship that goes stale and suggesting a threesome would spice things up, a went on a holiday because I got bored after two years. But in that time I did do stuff with my life, like fall in love... with a corgi.

Anyway I watched 27 Dresses last night and it was a sack of shit. It was so predictable that if we played a drinking game during it, I would be in hospital for alcohol poisoning. Yes, THAT predictable. I mean it was a nice film, but nothing to blow your mind about.

That's when I confirmed in my head how terrible romantic comedies are for the human race. In the real world, the first person you see at a party is not your soul mate. I mean, you might bang, but that's it most of the time. What is up with the boy meets girl, they have some simmering beef between each other, they get thrown together, then get drunk, kiss, have sex, someone (usually the guy) does something utterly dickish, hurts girl, so she has a personality transplant, realises this isn't her and everything she could ever want is from him, so there's a big dramatic revelation, they kiss passionately and then get married and have all the babies. Okay, out of all of that, what has applied to you? Certainly not all of them and definitely not in that order.

I once did a blog post about how my life was full of rom-com moments and I regret buying into that shit so much. These films are toxic and set unrealistic expectations for romance. I thought I was one of those people who could be able to separate it from real life, but nope. I keep wanting a guy, who treats me like shit or has flirty banter with me, to kiss me hard in the pouring rain and to declare that I am all he's ever wanted. Ladies and gentlemen, unless you have someone who is literally a rom-com fanatic or watched Love Actually, it won't happen in that way. You wanna hear my most rom-com moment that isn't even remotely romantic - I got voicenotes. But you know what - I like that, it's something that is achievable.

Now to walk off into the sunset like all good rom-coms, even if the guy is a total prick I've barely gotten to know and most likely sexually attracted to.. But each to the own and I won't stop watching; someone has to keep Jennifer Aniston in business!

Toodles :)