Wednesday, 3 June 2015

Not Now, Anxiety!

Olá, Bom Dia, Schneckens!
If you can guess what language I am speaking, then you win today's top price! Ahh, what can the price possibly be?! Well. how about a bootiful morning gif of Benedict Cumberbatch's cumberbuns? (or Cumberbum as it's formally known as apparently)


I didn't even realise I was in a Benny Batch mood today, but hey, I'm not complaining. Although, deep down, I guess I would rather gaze upon this on my Wednesday morn:

I miss The Royals so much dammit

Ahem, sorry, and back to reality. Suddenly realised I have earphones in, yet no music. I must fix that pronto. I guess a bit of Bastille gets the day grooving. Who the fuck says grooving any more? Well apart from Old Men Grooving from BGT, who were the cutest and grooviest act of this year so far and totes should have got further than 4th! The answer is me, who is still ill. Eurgh, pass the sick bucket because my stomach continues to churn and I really don't want to get it on Tom Austen's sexy suit.

The doctor suggested on Monday that I may have eaten something rather iffy, with I can sort of agree with. These last few weeks I have been eating shit because I have been hella busy with things - performances; packing; decorating - hell, you name it and I have probably been doing it. I probably even fucked the Portuguese Guy at this rate (side note, Don't Fuck The Portuguese Guy - haven't said it in a while, whoops!) But I am starting to doubt whether it is food poisoning or not because my bowels have been okay. In other words, I don't appear to have diarrhoea and yes, I can spell that without spell check! And with that revelation, we've become far more intimate than I have been with most boyfriends in my life, bravo, Schneckens, we've achieved relationship goals!

However, the doctor did also say I was stressed and initially I was like 'me, stressed, when am I NOT stressed?! Well, not now, I am holiday now! #freedom' Okay, I didn't say that, but that's the gist of it all. But writing down what I've been doing recently and that's not even mentioning the other stressful factors, such as dickheads; bitches; attention seeking tworts - I can sort of see that I am just the tiniest bit stressed and maybe, combined with shit food, I am feeling a bit rough. When I approached Summer, I said I would make it jam packed because otherwise it would feel like it is just dragging on and it'll be crap. I think I may need to step back a tad. Today for instance I am meant to be going to Luton, but I am not sure right now. Apart from the energy used to get there and back (my god I hate London Transport), the actual motion will most likely make me puke. Folks, now I reveal one of my most traumatic incidents from the 2012 years:

Back in 2012, February I believe, Myself, Mother and Father went to go visit Sibling in Derby. I was feeling anxious, obvs. Long story short, on the train, my anxiety got the better of me and I puked on the train. Everyone looked at me and Father was angry and Mother was stressed af. Both telling (more like shouting at) me to go see a doctor because this was ridiculous (they're a lot more understanding now, btw) Yeah, so that's why I am not too keen on getting on a train today and why I need to take it easy. My head hurts, I feel light headed and nauseous. So either I am pregnant with a metaphorical Portuguese baby or I am anxious. Let's go with the second option and whilst we ponder what the hell a half Portuguese, half Russian baby would look like, I'll tell my Son I cannot come and then sleep. Till then, boa noite!

Toodles :)

P.S. It was Portuguese in case you were wondering..