Sunday, 31 May 2015

A Ruff Night For Humans

How's my Schneckens today?!
I for one am in a grand mood because my knitting project has come to life. Yes, I am knitting at the moment. I decided to use my summer productively and this is just one of the ways. I will keep you all updated with this as I continue!

So Britain's Got Talent has just finished and as you can sort of guess through my punny heading, the dog act won. Who doesn't like a good ol' acting; jumping; magical dog with a three legged friend called Skippy? Only a monster. Or this gal:

Britain's Got Talent live final, Jules O'Dwyer and MatisseShe might try and make a coat out of that amazing dog's fur! Seriously though, Jules O'Dwyer and Matisse were stunning tonight. I was sitting,wide eyed, during the whole thing wanting to adopt that dog and make it the best sandwich ever. I'm in the sandwich mood tonight - the food, not anything kinky. I had to avoid any kind after I accidentally said this to my mother regarding Jamie Raven:
       ME: I never saw his semi, what was it like -
I quickly realised the fault in that sentence and swiftly went back to my knitting. He was incredible though and I couldn't help but ponder how the fuck he did it - HE WHIPPED OUT A SIGNED NOTE FROM ALESHA FROM A FRESHLY CUT LEMON. HOW?!?!

Speaking of fresh, who else thought Old Men Grooving were, well, groovy? I love them and I just wanted to adopt all of them and make them a sandwich too. They make dad dancing cool and if I had my father do Gangnam Style half as good as them, I would probably down a shot of vodka to erase the embarrassment. Father, let Old Men Grooving do their thang and you do your thang, just don't do the same thang cos it'll be a thang overload.

Finally, special props to Jesse-Jane McParland! She is my spirit animal. I was rooting for her to get to that final and when I found out she did, I yelped with joy. She is a total badass!

So thanks for reading, especially if you don't watch BGT, you can have a biscuit - Oh wait, David Walliams ate it. After all, he is always on his knees kissing Simon's arse as he has us believe. Meeeeeow, I am catty when knitting!

Toodles :)

Saturday, 30 May 2015

Ending On Highs

Hey heeeeey, Schneckens!
Hows' it going? I had a kit kat so I am feeling the love right now. I am taking a break and I am watching BGT because I missed it during the week. A lot to take in. I already know the result, but meh.

So, three things to discuss today. I watched 2 series finales today and one FA Cup Final; so I watched 3 shows end today. It was immense. Here are my views on this. The shows are Bad Teacher; The Royals and well, the FA Cup Final between Arsenal and Aston Villa. Arsenal won, spoiler alert. Actually, spoilers all round.

I was one of the few folk who actually liked this show. I mean, in the real world, she would never be a teacher because she has zero teaching experience and clearly doesn't know a thing about students or teaching. She loves money and will work hard to get that money. She works hard for the money, so hard for the money... Sorry, that song is in my head now. But yes, series finale. Her ex, Ray, is back and she takes him back despite the fact he cheated on her and will most likely do it again. She only did it because she thought her class had failed and she quit. Long confusing plot later, she actually did okay. Yet, she stays with Ray, instead of the hot gym teacher who CLEARLY loves her and because the series got axed, I'll never know if she snaps out of this and gets with him. Such a shame.

Okay, first things first is that I FUCKING LOVE THIS SHOW. I don't care if it is completely insane and nothing like the real royal family (Prince Liam, reaaaaaally!) this show is great. From a wild child Princess; American lover; bad blood; illegitimate kids; sexy bodyguards called Jasper; the King being STABBED and Liz Hurly being the Queen of England, the show has had me hooked. The last episode was phenomenal. Jasper is back and looking sexy as fuck; Ophelia goes to New York to dance and Liam beats the shit out of the the Prince Regent, who soon becomes King cos the real King croaked it. Oh, there's also a bun in the oven because the maid got knocked up. WHAAAAT?! Imagine if the real royal family was like that!

Arsenal won, what else is there to say. I don't give a shit. I watched it for Santi Cazorla and Gunnersarus. They played well? I don't know what I am saying.

So that's my view on television. Now back to knitting!

Toodles :)

Thursday, 28 May 2015

How To Make Me Laugh

Hi, Schneckens!
I am still packing and I feel like I have made zero progress, but I know I have. Small steps and whatnot. So whilst I am still packing, here's what makes me laugh. If you ever want to make me laugh, just send me this; I will love you forever. Even if you forget what my screenplay is about, despite the fact you once said it was a good idea and praised me for it. Eurgh.

Toodles :)

Wednesday, 27 May 2015

An Open Letter To Suicidal Thoughts

Hello, Schneckens.
I am currently in the process of packing at the moment and the whole thing is a surreal moment for me. I can't believe I have actually finished my first year and I can't believe I have lived here since September. Time flies. When I started I was so unwell and this is something I want to write publically. An open letter to the suicidal thoughts I had last year - you can't hurt me anymore.

Toodles :)

Suicide, why do you taunt me?
You know I'm not feeling good, do you really need to make things worse? You're selfish, Suicide, selfish. You know I love my friends and family, so why do you need to make me feel as if they would be better off if I was dead? They wouldn't! They need me as much as I need them. Mother needs her a hug from her little munchkin. Father needs his daily dosage of annoying questions that make no sense whatsoever. Sibling needs her snowy to send her pictures of Bub on a regular basis. Nan needs her little drama queen to be a diva on stage. My Asian Mom needs her Western daughter to eat ALL the sausages with her. My Son needs his Mama to teach her how to rap. My Sister needs her Sky to listen to everything she's too afraid to tell anyone else. Zoella needs her favourite student to become the greatest teacher she's ever taught. My Drama Family needs their little crazy one to carry on the spark of the family. Pixie needs his awesome friend to talk to him when he feels alone. My Brother needs his Sis to teach him how to survive exams. Beth needs her weirdo to be keep being weird with her. The world needs me to make her mark on the world.

You see, Suicide, I don't need you, even if you think I do. What I need is a hug, not the chilling embrace of death from a life cruelly snatched away too early. I want to travel to Zone 9; to be a farmer for one day; to eat Nutella - such little things that make a life worth fighting for. You may offer the bittersweet relief from every worry that crosses my mind and every shot of anxiety that pumps through my blood from the erratic beating of my heart; but in return, I lose the thrill of life. If I choose you, Suicide, I lose everyone and everything I have and could ever have. I'll never get to kiss a Russian or ever moo in a long line. 

You may stop all my fears, but you also stop all my dreams and that's a sacrifice not worth making. Ever.

Tuesday, 26 May 2015

The Truth About Love: Refined

Hi, Schneckens!
Good day? Mine was better. Slightly pissed at my Making Theatre term 2 marks; not bad, but the comments were a tad bitchy. I worked fucking hard on that AV, using a software NO ONE knew how to use and all I got was fine. Fuck off, man, fuck off.

And composure. I am good now, though. Just had dinner round Beth's new flat and it's looking great. The dinner was equally as nice. Except for the mushrooms. I despise those mushrooms. But wine, beef and mash, where can you go wrong?

Many moons ago (last year on Camp Takota Day..) I wrote a post talking about love, which you can read here - HEEEEEEEEEEERE. That post talks about how much love was just a step closer to heart break and that we're all just lovesick junkies searching for our next hit... I never said year ago me wasn't melodramatic! She was sorta right though because face it, how many of us love watching films like the Notebook and ponder a big ol' kiss in the rain. We think it will be passionate and beautiful, when really you'll both just stick to each other's wet clothes and smell like wet dog. Nice.

Now though, I see love in different and open ways. For instance:
1. Mother, Father, Sibling and Nan = that undeniable love for a family member and know they'll do anything for you to see you happy.
2. Ruby (Asian Mom), Ruby (Son) and Tanaka (Sister) = a second family that doesn't feel separated from the first and a love that is a strong as a bloodline love.
3. Drama Family = a love that allowed me to shine and find confidence in the place that I love.
4. Beth = a friendship that extends just University and allows us to be who we are without judgement.
5. Giraffe = a toxic love that spewed self loathing and unhealthy thoughts and behaviours.
6. Pixie = a love that grew from hate and has become stronger than anyone could have thought.

You see, I never predicted a love for Pixie, mainly because he was the 'sex god'. How do you love someone you initially wanted to bang? Not just bang. A casual bang. A casual afternoon bang in your parent's house whilst they were away on holiday. A casual bang, in your parent's house, whilst they were away and he had a free period or was willing to skip a lesson. Ahh, classy. But it is true. Why do I love him? It's because, despite this, I was intrigued by him and got to know him. I realised he was a nice guy. Yes, a bit of a twat at times, but who isn't? I used to wonder if we could ever be friends because there was that clear 'I want to fuck you like an animal/fuck your brains out' sorta vibe between us for what seemed like the majority of our initial encounters with each other. Alas, we grew out of that and bonded, like non sexual humans.

Long story short - love can be anything and can be for anyone. See where it takes you and if it a) makes you feel happy and gleeful, stay and let the love bloom. But if it b) has you reaching for a razor blade; vodka or pills, for goodness sake, STAAAAHP. Please. Giraf - I mean, no person is worth that.

Toodles :)

Monday, 25 May 2015

Bank Holiday Monday

Hi, Schneckens!
Hope you all had a great day and you didn't spend it watching The Royals and My Parents Are Aliens like me. Yes, that is how I spent it.

Toodles :)

Sunday, 24 May 2015

Birthday + Eurovision

Hi there, Schneckens!
Now, I need to start off admitting a change - as you know, some days I simply haven't got the energy to do a post and a simple one line one is shit and pointless. Therefore, I will be taking weekends off for me. One of the reasons why I struggled so much is because I put so much focus on things that shouldn't be considered life and death. I started this blog to get my mind off the pain of a cuntish giraffe and his friends and it worked - it gave me something to look forward to and to get my voice out there. But recently, when really exhausted, I just didn't find myself feeling the same way. So instead of putting out shittles, I want to put of skittles - so I will only be blogging when I am 100% with what I am putting out there! Especially as Zoella will be reading this! (sorry for dropping the C word, Zoella, but they had it coming...)

So it was mother's birthday yesterday and there was only one way I could think of celebrating - by baking a cake. My past baking adventures have been a bit, well, meh. The carrot cake I made, whilst delicious, feel apart like my well-being after the millionth heartbreak and the tiramisu I made was more tragic than my love life. This time I decided to do something that seemed easy - a mere sponge. A chocolate and banana sponge to be precise. Long story short, I forgot I had an electric whisk, so the cake did not rise even an bit, so I really had to jazz up this plain looking sponge. It went from this....

To this....

I made the most jazzy cake in the whole wide world. Speaking of which, Eurovision was pretty something, amirite?! Australia?! In EUROvision?! Madness. I loved it though - Guy Sebastian is a fond favourite of mine. Alas, the sexy Swedes won it and not a single person was upset about this. Except maybe Russia... The boos for them were insane. I quite liked the performance. But imagine the country who are so anti-gay hosting the most campest show in the world. Madness.
Also, big cheers for Ireland!!!!!! Let's hope other countries can follow their example!

Toodles :)

Friday, 22 May 2015

Happy Birthday, Zoella!!

Hi, Schneckens.
Long time no see? I know, it's crazy, but life has been crazy for me. Insanely busy, but I wanted to briefly appear to wish Zoella a happy, happy birthday! I went to visit her yesterday and it was incredible. The woman bought me lunch and we became a comedy duo as our height difference brought everyone's attention towards us. Despite what Pixie might have said, I am not THAT short. Eurgh, had an awkward hug moment with him, alas, he still brought a smile to my face. Bastard. Also there are televisions in the sixth form now for notices. What's wrong with a good old notice board? Bastards. Again.

Anyway that was my day, so happy birthday, Zoella and have a happy New Year! What? Squirrels.

Toodles :)

Wednesday, 20 May 2015

My Parents Are Aliens

Hi, Schneckens!
I have a banging headache, so bare with me. Just got home and ate some food. I'm getting into bed now because I have a big surprise planned for tomorrow...

Toodles :)

Tuesday, 19 May 2015


Hi, Schneckens!
In case you didn't know, I have no laptop, so blogging is harder than frozen turkey. Basically, this means things won't be magical for a short while. Today for example, Beth and I went to central London for a recording of QI. With a laptop I could type it pretty quickly and stuff, but no. So I'll edit this later with amazing pics and smiles!

Toodles :)

Sunday, 17 May 2015

Mental Health Awareness Week: Recovery

Hi there, Schneckens!
As Mental Health Awareness Week concludes I'm proud to end it on the greatest high - by finishing my first year at University. When I started, back in September, I was hopelessly depressed, isolating myself, unable to handle the life I was living and ready to back it in. Fast forward to now and I am happy, healthy and having the time of my life with the friends I have made. These past few months have been a blast working with wonderful people on Arcadia and I am so proud of everything I've achieved. So if I could shed some wisdom that you'll take with you and something I've also learnt - you're stronger than you think x

As for those demons in my life? They're gone now, in my past and they will never hurt me again. I have a strong circle of friends who love me and they won't dare let anyone hurt me. They're family when you think about it, everyone of them.

Toodles :)

Saturday, 16 May 2015

White Wine

Hey, Schneckens!

Drinking wine and feeling like snoozing, so talk tomorrow!

Toodles :)

Friday, 15 May 2015

Mental Health Awareness Week: OCD

Hey there, Schneckens!
Last night was our first performance of Arcadia and it was an absolute success! The actors were brilliant on stage and I am so proud to have been able to work with such a terrific cast, director and crew - this has truly been a wonderful experience for me being able to work with such lovely people! Here's to them and their bright futures, let tonight be a fantastic show that will never be forgotten!

Continuing in the spirit of mental health awareness week, I will be discussing OCD today and most importantly, the stigma attached to the condition. OCD stands for Obsessive Compulsive Disorder and it is not just a cleaning disease. I speak on behalf of myself and many other people with the condition. I am one of the messiest people you will ever meet in your life and I have OCD. It frustrates me immensely when I hear ignorant folk claim they have OCD when they decide to clean at a time that may seem odd or because they have a quirk like having all their DVDs in a certain order.

My form of OCD is more towards the superstitious side, especially through routines and keeping certain objects. For instance, on this laptop (which isn't mine, btw) I have saved a million unimportant files, but won't delete it in case because I am afraid that something bad will happen. I don't know how this link is created, but I won't delete them in case something goes wrong and the show goes terribly. Likewise, I won't ever delete certain shows on my Sky Box because of the same thing - that something bad will happen. It's not ideal, but it keeps me calm and that's all the matters. My OCD is under control and that is the main thing! Certain days I can have small blips, but for the most part, I am fine and able to live a wonderful life!

Toodles :)

Thursday, 14 May 2015

Mental Health Awareness Week: Trichotillomania

Hello, Schneckens!
It is show night for us tonight, so if you sense an aura of stress, that's your reason. Eeeek. I'm okay though, although I do want a sandwich right now!

Today I want to discuss self esteem with you all because I feel as if this is something that a lot of us struggle with. Something that I know many people, including myself, find difficult is the effects of Trichotillomania. I've had Trichotillomania since I was a young girl and it became more apparent when I was an early teen. By the time I was sixteen, I had pulled out all my eyelashes, most of my eyebrows and parts of my scalp. In summary, I pulled from every part of my body and that made me feel shit about myself. I hated that I couldn't tell anyone about it and I hated that I had to hide it from everyone. From talking to people on Trich forums, that seems to be the common theme.

When I felt particularly low, I found myself pulling more than ever before. These became pulling sprees. I would sit on the floor, frantically pulling the hair that my anxious mind was telling me was not right and needed to be pulled out. Then I would pull out hair that didn't bother me, which stressed me out more, so I would keep pulling until I was satisfied. These sprees could last up to an hour and had a lasting impact on how I had to continue with daily life. But thankfully, I am nearly two years pull free, so I am definitely continuing to go in the right direction!

Toodles :)

Wednesday, 13 May 2015

Mental Health Awareness Week: Self Harm

Hello there, Schneckens!
I'm late today, but that's because it was Arcadia's first dress rehearsal and it went okay. Improvements are always advised for any actor, but everyone did great. Plus, my AV was better today. So overall, I am knackered, but it's good knackered. Roll on tomorrow and the first show!! Eeeeek.

Of course I am still focussing on this week and today I am here to discuss Self Harm. The phrase 'self harm' is associated with physical acts of self inflicted injury, through cutting, yet unbeknownst by many, it's more than that. In this post, I will show that cutting is just one of the ways that it is done because yes, it is physical, but there are other ways in which an individual can do it though. Ultimately this has a lot of psychological effects, which can really impact a person further. The post will seem a bit formal with its layout, yet I think it will make it clearer to understand!

Cutting/Scratching/Burning etc:
Probably the most common and known way. For me, when I started doing this form of self harm, I used to scratch myself with sharp objects or stick my nails into my hands to make myself bleed. The feeling was sensational and it felt like I was ripping out all the tension in my body, releasing me from all the pain - anxiety and depression, for instance, as I did it during times where these feelings were at all time highs. Starting University allowed me to "up my game" in terms of self infliction because no one could find out. I was away from home; these new people didn't know me and I could do what I wanted. I used sharper objects like razors, but the feeling wasn't as sensational. I felt like I was getting stuck in a rut and I guess that's why I was doing it in the first place. My body was getting so used to the feeling of intense sadness, that the sharp stings were a welcomed change. I go to this form of self harm a lot, but I have it under control at the moment and I am proud to say that during this very stressful week, I haven't done it once!

Relationship with Food:
Our intake of food is really important because we need food to survive. But some can harm themselves with food. Eating disorders or those undiagnosed as one but share similar tendencies, can hurt themselves through restricting their food or eating too much just to stop a voice in their head and satisfy that voice. I have very low self esteem and after being rejected; told I wasn't pretty enough or not feeling adequate enough compared to other females, I started dieting. I tried many diets, but the most dangerous one was cutting out carbs (diabetic, yo!) At first, I felt great, I felt like my body was good and thought I looked hot; I was getting Pixie (the 'sex god' back then) attention, even if I wanted giraffe's. That's probably what set me off - wanting giraffe so much, but of course, he didn't want me. I skipped meals, made myself sick (after binging) and at some points, I wanted food so badly, that I just chewed the food and spat it out to get to taste it because that's what I thought I wanted - the taste. I was all over the place, but thankfully, I have calmed down now! I view food in a different way and today, for instance, I looked at my body and thought 'wow!' because that's the only thing that matters - what I think and feel!

Yes, you can harm yourself through sex. You think it will fill something that needs to be filled, but it doesn't, it makes you feel worse most of the time. At my lowest points, I turned to sexual activities to really make myself feel better, thinking it would validate myself and make myself feel worthy. It didn't. I became uncontrollable and needy, just wanting that one guy to tell me I was fit, ask for pictures or want to have sex with me. When he didn't do these things, which aren't the nicest of things, I felt sad. I somehow convinced myself that I deserved this treatment and that I was cheap and deserved no better. I thought he was making me feel better about myself, but no. Now, however, I have a strong relationship with him and we are great friends now because we opened up. Casual sex doesn't allow that and that's why I am happy that I realised that eventually because now I have a friend for life, who respects me and makes me feel happy when I need it - he checks up on me, which is just lovely!

This one is also common. When one feels like they are drowning under their problems, drinking can briefly take those worries away. But then the morning comes and not only do you still have those problems, you also have a bitchin' hangover! When I started Uni, I was able to buy alcohol and drink it whenever I wanted. Freshers Week really strengthened that opportunity. As I got more depressed, the more I turned to the bottle of vodka. I drank in my room to get me outside or to text people I wanted to talk to (mainly the 'sex god' for sex) I felt like I was walking on air when there was enough alcohol on me. Yet as the weeks progressed, drinking just made me feel sadder. I was drinking in the afternoon and was crying uncontrollably. I never had a drinking problem because I never craved it uncontrollably, but I did turn to it a lot when I wanted to shut out all the dark feelings inside of me. I don't so much any more, I mainly drink for pleasure (Well, cheap freeze and squeeze stuff) So no more drunken woes for me!

I hoped this could help you if you needed it and I hope it opened your eyes about what self harm is. Let's keep this stigma breaking going, everyone!

Toodles :)

Tuesday, 12 May 2015

Mental Health Awareness Week: Anxiety

Hi there, Schneckens!
How's it hanging? I'm coping, somewhat. Stressed as per usual, but when am I never stressed? I really want a burger though, although I will resist that urge for now. For now..

So continuing this week of action in combating mental health and breaking the stigma attached to it. Today I will focus on Anxiety and what is incredibly frustrating to hear as someone who lives with it. I am socially anxious and have generalised anxiety, both link into each other quite significantly. Basically, in terms of daily life, this means that I get super anxious about anything and not too keen in being in public situations where people can see me. Yes, I am a Drama student, but that is entirely different. That's playing a character, real life me isn't a character.

Having an anxiety disorder is like being trapped in a blank room, isolated from the outside world, but a figure keeps popping in to give you filtered information. It's not the full picture, just snapshots or so of worst case scenarios. This is a metaphor for your mind. You don't seen the full picture, but you immediately assume the worst because your body has gone into fight mode. Anxiety can be good in quantities to protect one from danger, but going out with your friends doesn't quite require that amount of protection.

Personally, the one thing I hate is when other people make insensitive comments about anxiety, such as: "why are you nervous?"; "there's nothing to be anxious about", "just stop panicking!" because:
1.) Sometimes we don't know why we are anxious and that makes us more anxious.
2.) Clearly something is making us feel this way, so instead of questioning me, support me through breathing techniques or so.
3.) Trust me, if I could stop feeling this way, I would not put myself through it.

Hopefully this was useful for you and you could relate. Anxiety is a tough one, it's like a frenemy: we don't like it, but it's always there for us, even though we really don't want it!

Toodles :)

Monday, 11 May 2015

Mental Health Awareness Week 2015: Depression

Hello, Schneckens!
I am stressed and have a headache, plus I am in the theatre right now, feeling my head verge towards insanity as the day slowly progresses. My head will explode soon. Soon. Bare with me, I am not ready for this.

But this week isn't just the week in which I feel immense stress, it is mental health awareness week, which I guess is somewhat fitting for this week's torture. Seriously, I am that stressed at the moment that everything seems like torture. Typing? Torture. Breathing? Torture. Living? Torture. Just counting down the days for when this is all finished!

Sooo, today I want to focus on Depression, from daily life to treatment. Firstly, what is it like to live with Depression? For me, I see it as living in a bubble. You can see the whole world around you, but you're separated from everyone else. You see people get on with their daily lives, but there's nothing you can do. You're just there, not you're not really. You feel isolated from the world and in the end you just fade away into oblivion, desperately seeking light, but you don't know where.

One place I found light was through counselling. Being able to talk about what I was feeling made the pain I was feeling seem smaller. It didn't cure anything or take anything away, but being able to talk about what was wrong or going on felt like it was solvable or not as bad as I was thinking. CBT was a life saver for me. Being given the skill to challenge my negative thoughts is the greatest skill ever because it meant that, for example, if he didn't like my Facebook picture, it didn't mean that he thought I was unattractive, it could have just been that he never saw it. Plus, CBT allowed me to challenge it and one thing I always seemed to ignore was that he had called me attractive, cute and hot many times before and most importantly, that he has been a great friend to me.

Another way that light was shone into my world was through medication. This method seems to be viewed in a negative light. Prior to taking them, I thought they would numb me or make me feel like robot, but that was NOT the case. They help me greatly. They help release chemicals that can cause Depression and it's nice to have an extra bit of support now that CBT is over and life gets stressful. On its own, it can't do anything really, but when applied with other methods, it's a great aid.

Basically, Depression is scary and it makes you feel vulnerable, but it can be managed. Little steps take you a long way and I am proud that I am here today to share this with you.

Toodles :)

Sunday, 10 May 2015

Dead Trees?!?!

Hi, Schneckens!
This upcoming week will be hella crazy for me, so I apologise in advance for late blog posts on the week of Mental Health Awareness Week.

Today I shall promote my Asian Mom - Ruby K's event because I am certain it'll be a great night! Here we go.

Toodles :)

  • at 8:00pm - 12:00am
    May 21 at 8:00pm to May 22 at 12:00am
  • Courtyard theatre, bowling green walk 40 pitfield street London
Limb To Limb

Heavy, groove-laden, riff orientated rock band based in London with clean, soulful female vocals.

Bear Vs Manero

Short Description
An imaginary fight between a bear and Tony Manero finally realised in musical form.

Saturday, 9 May 2015


Hi, Schneckens!
I'm on vocal rest and as a result I am going to sleep. But remember that I am extremely busy, hence why I need sleep!

Toodles :)

Thursday, 7 May 2015


Hey, Schneckens!

Okay, The Asian Mom wrote this yesterday, so here is another approach to Election fever! Her approach was evidently fun. More fun than mine. So enjoy!

So today is voting day! Oh gosh I feel like such an adult yes I may be Asian Mom but there is nothing like the feeling of growing up to scare the lights out of you. I was really conflicted in who to vote for there were just so many different parties each offering different plates of food to the table. Schneckens, I'm still very ill and I can't proper food so please eat some food on my behalf. Please and Thanks.
Vote for the Penguin and be ready as the world will die from the cuteness that will make ovaries everywhere burst!
So who would you vote for?
Toodles :)

So anyway, if I can't decide for actually human beings to run my country, let's turn to some fictional characters who can run the world if they wanted to. 

Vote for Pedro and he will make wildest dreams come true. Also with an epic dance scene from his best friend Napoleon who wouldn't want to vote for him.

 Vote for any of the chocolates and they would still probably make better candidates than those that are running. Plus they probably make the world a better place because chocolate. Duh!

Vote for Esteban Julio Ricardo Dela Rosa Ramirez and have the finest treatment in customer service at the Tipton Hotel.

Vote for Alison Hendrix and get a discount on a new line of soaps with a special medicinal qualities. After all she and husband Donnie are pharmaceutical entrepreneurs with a passion for fighting for what's right and making sure your children are in the right catchment area for schools. Totally be a badass bitch along with her sisters.

Election Fever

Afternoon, Schneckens!
I have eaten a lot of pistachio nuts, not realising that they're not the healthiest of nuts. Should have gone for the almonds.. Also, my debit card was declined today, so if you see me smash like the Hulk, it's because of the anger boiling inside of me and going somewhat insane. Only somewhat. Just Hulk it out in life.

Anyway, moving on like a - I don't have a phrase. Moving on like a gold-digger at a wake? Too morbid? Moving on, today is the election and for me, a first time voter, trying to decide who to vote for is quite a decision to make. My main focus when picking a political party to support is its policies on mental health, because as we already know, I am a keen supporter in improving many aspects within the mental health field. Each party, for the first time ever, are offering some policy on mental health in their manifesto, just each one is different and for the individual, the one that stands out the most is most important.

Obviously now would be a grand time to discuss each policy within the manifesto, but I'm not the one running for office, so I'll let the pros do that. For now, I will be content with the decision I made on my ballot paper and hope that my voice channels something, now, or in the non too distant future. I should probably get back to my work now because time waits for no one and the first performance of Arcadia is in one week. Fuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuck.

Toodles :)

Wednesday, 6 May 2015

Too Tired

Hi, Schneckens.
Sorry, it'll be remarkably short for I am exhausted. I just woke up and off to bed again.

Things improved today, but I am still knackered. A lot of work done and I am gearing for my first vote tomorrow. Remember to vote!

Toodles :)

Tuesday, 5 May 2015


Hello, Schneckens.
I got stung by a bee today, so that's a clear sign that I am not in a very good mood.

I'll keep this short and sweet, life sucks at the moment. Not that I am suggesting suicide, far from it. I am just overwhelming stressed with everything going on and I just want someone to take some of this heavy baggage away from me. I also want sleep, so I'll do that and I'll see you tomorrow.

Toodles :)

Monday, 4 May 2015

I'm In Love With A Zombie

Hi, Schneckens!
Jeez, it's pretty late, huh. Well, better late than never. That phrase just makes anything sound better. For instance:

One week later....
    GIRL: False alarm, I just got my period.
    GIRL: Better late than never...
    BOY: I guess.

     *Dials battery factory in the magical land that no one knows where*
     WORKER: Okay, so it'll be ready on Monday? ... Okay, thanks!
On Monday....
     CO-WORKER: Chill, it'll be here soon.
A week later....
     CO-WORKER: Skye, your battery is here!
     WORKER: Fuck sake, I needed it a week ago!
     CO-WORKER: Better late than never...

And you get the point. Was there a really a point or am I just stalling for time? Maybe a bit of both. Long story short, period is due soon and my battery is not here yet. Also, I am in love with a zombie. He's dead inside or what show emotions. I don't know, I'm more fussed on the battery! Expect more late posts as I try to get all my work done  in less than ten days.. Eeeeeek.

Toodles :)

Sunday, 3 May 2015

Things I Have Learnt From Wetherspoons

Heya, Sexy Schneckens!
Sorry, I have just had a cocktail. Geddit? Cocktail? Cock? I don't know what just happened there. Maybe subconsciously I am thirsty in many ways? Or maybe listening to Nick Jonas' Jealous is just getting me in the zone. Man, you're too fucking beautiful and everybody wants a taste and that's why I still get jealous. It's true. I still get jealous. What does this have to do with anything?

You may not know this, but I am the unofficial Queen of Wetherspoons. Yes, the Spoon Queen. Great at Spooning. HAYOOOO. I've been there so many times that I know the ins and outs of that place and how exactly to do business there. So let's see what I have learnt there. You ready? Okaaaay!

Things I Have Learnt From Wetherspoons:

1. 75% of the place consists of elderly people, 25% are cheap, poor students on a budget and the final 10% are families on a budget/like meals for a great price.
2. They no longer sell Pina Coladas.
3. People will interact with each other there.
4. You become part of some Spooning family.
5. It is possible to get drunk for less than a tenner.
6. You will eat all the sausages eventually.
7. You always forget which table you're at and have to ask your friend to remind you, hoping they also remember.
8. Their onion rings are life.
9. If you're not getting the gourmet option, you're missing out in life.
10. If it has a pulled pork option, get it. If you're allowed pork, obvs.
11. Spoons is a socially acceptable date and is greatly encouraged.
12. You can go out and spend less than a tenner if you don't drink alcohol.
13. You will get asked for ID on a Friday and Saturday night.
14. They have the same plates in every chain.
15. The pitchers are the best damn thing to drink.
16. Seriously, them onions rings are life.
17. You'll keep wanting to back.
18. There is a Spoons everywhere!
19. Don't get a jacket potato. Ever.
20. It's the greatest place on Earth.

In summary, it's awesome.

Toodles :)

Saturday, 2 May 2015

A Royal Princess!

The world got a lil more regale, Schneckens!
Yes, whether you like them or not, there is a new baby in town and it comes in the form of a Princess. William and Kate have now had baby two, sister to cutie pie George. Seriously, the cutest moment had to be when George went to visit his sister. Like I am convinced that kid is evil, but he is a cute evil baby who will surely love his sister!

#WelcomeToTheFamily— Kensington Palace (@KensingtonRoyal) May 2, 2015
Source: Kensington Palace 

So now that we have stared at these adorable beings, let's take a chill pill (not drugs) and just chat. I feel like we haven't really chatted in a while, with me being busy with work and you guys being busy with your own respective lives. Everything okay? I've been okay. A had few down days with the stress of my final assessment getting to me. It's brought out quite a vulnerable side to me and I showed that side to someone that I never once in my life thought I would show. I felt protected and comforted by him, which is something that I wish I appreciated more at the time. You see, at the time, I was angry and frustrated with everything happening and I was upset with a particular day coming up and my laptop not working. I guess what I'm saying is, well, I miss him being the last person I talk to before I go to sleep and the first person I talk to when I wake up. But a few days is needed just to let the dust settle and so forth. Yeah, it's been an odd few days.

Well I guess I should also give you an update on the next few weeks. In less than two weeks, it is the 3rd Years final performance and I am the lighting and AV designer for the nights they are performing. So as the deadline get's closer, blog posts will be, well, varied. Expect short, boring posts until I am officially finished. It's not ideal, but it's just the way it is. Enjoy this inspiration cow for the night and welcome to the world Princess Skye (Yes, I am calling the royal baby Skye because I want her to be a big FU to the traditional monarchy - I've been watching a lot of The Royals.. That show is AMAZING!!)

Toodles :)

Friday, 1 May 2015

MS Awareness Day 2015

Hi, Schneckens!
Today is MS awareness day, so I hope you all wore your purple in honour of it! I'm quite fortunate that I have never personally been affected by such an illness, but one of my closest friends has and in the hardest way possible. I have a lot of respect for her today and her courage and bravery has a lot to be admired for. So my thoughts are with her and her family today, and although I never got to meet her mother, she has a wonderfully strong daughter that she's looking down proudly on and that's how I know she was one of a kind x

For me, this day also serves as a painful reminder. A year ago I felt overwhelming sadness as I was verbally abused and tortured by a horrible excuse of a man and his friend, which soon became friends. That day last year hurts still because I can still remember everything in detail. From the rain on my skin, the sound of my tears as I cradled myself on the floor and the sharp sting of the key as I slit my wrists. The day made it hard for me to trust people and my thought process is just as bad. I let that man break me and only now I am starting to put things back together.

Toodles :)