Thursday, 30 April 2015


Okay, Schneckens.
I am drunk right now and I just microwaved a doughnut. Not my finest hour and it smells in here.

Toodles :)

Wednesday, 29 April 2015

How Do I Get Myself Into These Situations?


 I am ill and my Asian daughter is questioning my life decisions while stuck on in a bus that’s on diversion and if you have ever been in this situation, let me tell you it’s hell especially when you have places to be.

So as stated earlier, I am sick right now. I have a stomach infection. WHO THE HELL GETS A STOMACH INFECTION?!!!! I hear you ask- well “I do” is the answer. Is it because I’m Asian? Too Asian perhaps? who knows? all I know is I’m in pain but the drugs are taking a slow effect on this whole crazy town.

Anyway as a result of this I have missed nearly a full week of uni. YAYAYAYAYAYAY *dies in the corner*. I honestly feel like Cosima right now sick, except I’m not in lab carrying out experiments on me and sisters and not to mention I can’t do science for shit!

The only thing getting me through the week is knowing that Orphan Black S3E3 is out on Saturday! Hopefully the drama of Project Leda and Project Castor will help me forget my fears! 

Speaking of fears Kira Manning scares me!!! So Asian Mom out!!

Toodles :)

Tuesday, 28 April 2015

Types of Flatmates Part II

Hello, Schneckens!
I achieved so much today because I did a ton of work, put in my prescription and tidied my room. So celebrations all round! Even if my leg is strangely saw as if I pulled a muscle. I don't know what I've done..

Just like all the Jenna Marbles and Superwomans in the world, I decided to do a part 2. I know, shocker! I do one today because I couldn't stand the mess in the kitchen, so I did all the washing up. I doubt anyone will notice, but you know, what can you do. Except blog about it, obvs. Again, I take loads from television and stuff.

Types of Flatmates Part II:

The Owl ~ You won't see them during the day because they are sleeping, but once it's dark outside, that's when they usually get up and do their daily business.

The One In Denial ~ Freshers was in September, it's nearly May and exam time, but this one keeps drinking/partying/fucking as if it was the start of term all over again.

The Shlob ~ Extreme slob. Basically imagine the worst room you have ever seen and times that by 10. Then double that. That's only half of how messy this flatmate is.

The Hugh Hefner ~ The amount of guys and girls that leave their room is astonishing and you can't help but wonder how their gentiles don't hurt or if it burns when they pee.

The Homemaker ~ Always in the kitchen, so when you walk indoors, it smells delightful. Or shit. Depends on what kinda cook they are.

The Miley Cyrus ~ Your own personal little wrecking ball because they probably broke a ton of plates and glasses. Accidentally, of course. Or in blind rage. Not judging.

The Lady Gaga ~ The start of term, they were on top of their game - popular, creative and winning. Now Uni has got to them and an aura of desperation reeks around them as they try to drag themselves through the final term.

The Duffy ~ Where'd they go?

The Karaoke Machine ~ Always singing and you know all their guilty classics. Do they have any shame? Hell no!

Aaaaand finally, The Passive Aggressive One ~ Come on, every flat has one! If you don't know who it is, it's probably you!

So that's life in flats. If you have a flatmate, good for you, you're not entirely tragic. Except for students, we're always tragic.

Toodles :)

Monday, 27 April 2015

Music Monday [Cheap Vodka]

Yo, Schneckens!
I have downed a cheap can of cranberry vodka because it was the only thing I could reach in Sainsbury's that looked nice. Alcohol wise. I don't just casually walk into Sainsbury's and buy alcohol. I did also buy chocolate and vegetables. Okay, I bought more than that, but whatever.

So I was back at Uni today and it went okay. They liked my AV stuff and I managed to wake up on time. Success all round, so let's celebrate with music - let's Monday, shall we?!

Song I listened to: Fly Away:
Kicking off Music Monday is a hip hop song that has a cool summer vibe to it. It's fresh and something to get down to any day of the week! Bravo!

Sean Beeson
Song I listened to: Temple Crest:
It's very rare that we get a chance to listen to something that is meant to be purely instrumental, so getting to hear this was a privilege. It was extremely calming and it transported me to my own very happy place. Wonderfully cinematic!

Ali Spagnola
Song I listened to: Bang Bang [Cover]:
What an amazing awesome cover of such an awesome song! This woman has skills that are so long that I can't even list them all. So let the music do the talking and check out this cover!

Tom Bertram
Song I listened to: Anything For You:
Such a beautiful and rich country tone that compliments the heart felt lyrics that he effortlessly swoons on this track. You'd do anything to hear this song again because it is truly stunning!

Louy Fierce
Song I listened to: Hungover:
The amount of cheap vodka I have drunk, this may be the case tomorrow. Yet the beat, the vibe and the overall tone to the song is addictive and banging. I really liked it and I know I'll be listening to this song for a good while! Hell, might help with the pending hangover!

Jazz Mino
Song I listened to: Blue Eyes:
Her brand new album is out today and it's cracking! Check out a few of her songs here and you'll understand why many cannot get enough of this talented artist!

Elm Treason
Song I listened to: Days of Reaction - THE WHOLE ALBUM:
Hey, these guys are awesome and I haven't mentioned them in a while. Their music never tires with me and I always love their stuff as if it was the first listen!

So that's Monday for you, see you next week (ish) for the next list - you bring the music!

Toodles :)

Sunday, 26 April 2015

Smoke And Mirrors

Evening, Schneckens!
Again, blog posts will be late and/or short for the upcoming weeks because I am currently working with Third Years on their final performance. This obviously takes up a lot of my time and energy, something that cannot be avoided sadly.

So today will be short and I hope you can bear with me - just until May 15th! It seems so long, I know, but it isn't when you think about it. I feel terrible that I have to leave you all wanting more, but just imagine this blog as a restaurant, you're making room for a big dish! That sounds suggestive, doesn't it... Only me!

Have a nice night!!

Toodles :)

P.S. I'm listening to Natalia Kills' Heaven. She's a bitch, but her music is bitchin'..

Saturday, 25 April 2015

Woo Woo

Hello, Schneckens!
I had a Woo Woo tonight and it was rather strong. I don't know what it is entirely, but I had a lot of cocktails tonight and I can't write this essay intoxicated.

Therefore, let's all laugh at the work cocktail and think about what we are doing with our lives. I may seem a tad silly at the moment, you know, half drunk; but I feel good. Especially that I have made beautiful friends and formed beautiful relationships and our love is beautiful. Everyone is beautiful, so woo (woo!)

Thanks, Lana, you get me at this current moment in time and probably tomorrow when I spam the love.

Toodles :)

Friday, 24 April 2015

Can You Lift Bro?

Hi, Schneckens.
Legit question, answer it.

Toodles :)

Thursday, 23 April 2015

Painting Princesses

Hey, Schneckens!
Hectic day today with work and all that. My head is absolutely pounding though and I must get some sleep for tomorrow. Busy day, very busy.

My head also hurts from the smell of paint, so if I throw up, there's your reason. That or I'm pregnant. I'm not, I swear. I'm covered against accidental pregnancies with men with multiple nicknames that I give them. Yet me sleep now.

Toodles :)

Wednesday, 22 April 2015

Depression Awareness Week 2015

Hello, Schneckens!
Monday was the start of Depression Awareness Week and today I wanted to talk about Depression because I believe that talking about mental health helps remove the stigma.

I've been thinking long and hard about what I wanted to say because in order to fully highlight what it's like to live with Depression, I need to talk about both the ups and downs as that's what it is like. Some days are good and others aren't, but those bad days turn into dark days that just seem to last forever. In reality, they don't because it does it get easier. I have just completed my CBT sessions after my wonderful counsellor and I decided I was strong enough to take what I learnt and apply it on my own. And I am currently talking Citalopram 20mg each morning and despite what some people think about pills, I am not a emotionless robot; the pills help balance the chemicals in my body so I am not constantly feeling low.

Of course I have one low point that always sticks out when I think about my battle with Depression, but living with the illness isn't just big episodes. In fact, I would say my lowest points were days when I just couldn't get out of bed; didn't socialise or work; or looking at things with a biased, bleak, all or nothing thought process. As I got more depressed, the lonelier I got and I craved attention, whether it was good - a conversation with a friend or potential friend, or bad - sex based conversations with the bad guy (remember, don't fuck the Portuguese Guy!) These things would happen more frequently than trashing my room or putting myself in dangerous situations. The sad reality is that I didn't leave my room much and when I did, I couldn't wait to get back in it and sleep for whatever time I had left in that day.

But now things are improving. I'm not cured, far from it. Yet I can proudly say that CBT is finished and I am officially declared as healthy, as shown in this fine picture:

Being 'healthy' is a wonderful accomplishment, but it isn't just being told that which is special - I feel it. I wake up and yes, sometimes I am too gosh damn lazy to get up, but when I do, I get on with things opposed to just snoozing. My greatest achievements has come in the shape of forming friendships, such as Drama friend, Beth. Going round to her flat for rehearsals or food has been one of my big highlights, even if it means accepting that she has an addiction to books, which you can (and I would recommend!) getting involved with here: She'll be discussing all things booktastic!!

I've also started to improve my thinking process. Before if a so called Pixie would like another girl's picture, but not mine, or not reply to my texts, I would want to a) throw myself in front of a car because clearly he doesn't care about me or b) stick my fingers down my throat and puke up everything I had ever eaten. Drastic, I know, but since 'not pretty' gate, I convinced myself that in order to be "pretty" a man had to tell me so and if he doesn't, yo' ugly. I was clearly not thinking fairly. I am beautiful, inside and out, and sure, he doesn't like my pictures, but he's always there when I need him and that's all that matters. Social media is a bitch, but as I learned, it's not an accurate portrayal of life. So I am not quick to think the worst anymore, I actually find evidence to go against my initial negative thought and then have alternative thoughts. Turns out things aren't usually as bad as you first think.

And that's my story, without the morning glory. If you're feeling low, don't be afraid to speak up; you deserve to be and feel happy. Just because you live with mental health, doesn't mean you should suffer x

Toodles :)

Tuesday, 21 April 2015

Asian Delights

Looking back on that title, it looks like a shit porno..
Hi, Schneckens!
The birthday season is over and I got what every quirky girl like me could want - that precious umbrella. Sure, I am slightly pissed that some people didn't wish me a happy birthday, but what can I do? Not a lot except rant and swiftly move on. So... Fuck you. And there we go.

Today was sunny, incredibly sunny. So sunny in fact that I really wish I brought my flats so I could go bare legged with my dress today. Also, I got catcalled today and it was awful. Some topless guy just comes over to me and starts trying to talk to me and calling me sexy. Eurgh, have some respect you creep. I was on my way to see my Nan, so I just kept on walking and when I got there, I gave her the camel from my parents holiday and moved on with my life. Had juice as well, so I am doing great.

When I got back home, it smelled of paint, so I left and went for a walk and saw Pixie, looking hot as fuck. Dayum. It wasn't just the weather that was hot. Whoooa, gurrrl, pour some cold water on yo'self. I'm sorry, I don't know what happened there.. I blame the Asian sweets my Mom gave me. And Maroon 5. Why are they somewhat hot?

Toodles :)

Monday, 20 April 2015


So it's only right that we have a shot of vodka, before eating a slice of chocolate cake and watching a ton of cooking shows. That's how I roll.

Yes, today was the celebration of my birth and what a celebration it was. Firstly, loads of people sent me a message, which for me, is a lovely thing - especially as I once thought that people simply didn't care about me enough to acknowledge my existence. Ah, what a turn around - thanks, CBT! That was a nice start to the day and put me in a very good mood.

Then it was time for the big shebang. Spoons. My Asian mom and I arranged to go to Spoons and eat all the sausages. We did that alright.. Then my mom made a mistake and ordered an extra plate, or two, of chips. So not only did we eat all the sausages, we attempted to eat all the chips. We failed, fantastically. As a result, we put the our chips into a doggy bag and we saved them for the cinema...

...Yes, we went to the cinema and watched that SpongeBob movie. It was pretty much like the first one if any of you are interested, so if you can't be bothered seeing both, just watch either one. It was nice though, we had chips, popcorn and some Fanta blast thing? I don't know. But it was fun seeing Nice Peter and Epic Lloyd on that screen and their rap song! Ahhh, joy!

That was my birthday, pretty cool, huh?!

Toodles :)

Sunday, 19 April 2015

Mind The Step!

Hi, my Schneckens!
It is my pre-birthday today and to celebrate, I had a fancy dinner (pork, with apricots and peaches, with roasties and peas!); fancy cocktails and watched One Day with my mother. I opened my presents today since mother is away for most of the day tomorrow and I finally got my sturdy umbrella! I am so happy!!

So yesterday I met up with my friends. After many last minute problems, it was just me, Tanaka and Ruby F. In summary, me, my sister and my son - a wonderful trio! Well I went for a quick hot chocolate waiting for my son to arrive and eventually she did, therefore I took her on a bus and straight to the flat and we bonded like Mama and Sons do - my son is not smoking! Then after deciding killer heels would probably kill me, we hopped on the bus again and made our way to Greenwich and met Tanaka so we could go to Spoons!

... Until we got there and they were IDing people at the door and Ruby announced she had no ID.. Great. With that, we walked around looking for somewhere cheap to eat and we did it, eventually. We found a quaint little restaurant where the owner was persisted on getting us coffee. Nonetheless, after a great chicken corden bleau and chocolate fudge cake with ice cream, plus a cracking night with two of my best friends and family, I couldn't ask for a better birthday! I even got a hog called Max; lovely meaningful cards and a couple of kisses (on the cheek!)

What a wonderful weekend, here's to tomorrow, the actual birthday!!

Toodles :)

P.S. I totally fell up the stairs on the way to the bathroom. Yes, you may laugh.

Saturday, 18 April 2015


Heeeeey, Schneckens!
So my birthday is upon us and tonight I shall celebrate with my friends! So far, things haven't gone swimmingly, but thanks to the help of CBT, I accept things don't always go to plan and the night can still be fun regardless!

Amazing how far I have come, so let's see what I have liked about April so far!


1. Day Of The Dead ~ Hollywood Undead's new album has to be one of their most strongest album to date! It captures everything we love about them and continues to show why so many of us are part of the Undead army!

2. Johnny 3 Tears ~ Briefly moving away from Funny Man, J3T has left me speechless with his caring nature towards his daughter, perfectly summed up in Sing.

3. Nottingham ~ I spent my first Easter away this year and I spent it in Nottingham with Sibling and her boyfriend. It's really lovely up there, even if it was a tad chilly!

4. Anthony Cat ~ Anyone who lives in Halls for Nottingham Uni will probably have seen this cat. I'm going to say he's the friendliest cat in the world. And maybe a bit of a diva..

5. First Class ~ I lived the life of luxury and I enjoyed it. The highlight? Getting to charge my phone on the train whilst reading my book. Before I took a nap, obviously.

6. Daisy The Easter Bunny ~ A welcomed addition to the family! She also rocks glasses better than me and that's a hard thing to admit!

7. The Breakfast Club ~ If you ever need to watch a film that is so gloriously 80s, then look no further because I have found it for you. You won't forget about it after watching it from start to finish; a really great coming of age movie. Although the ending sucked.

8. Ghost ~ That film made me cry more than a baby who had just had their candy taken away from them. That's the saying right?

9. The Simpsons ~The old episodes, obvs. I spent the entire Easter just watching them and I really enjoyed seeing them at their best!

10. The Royals ~ Okay, I am watching too much TV.. But this show is so trashy that you can't help but love it!

11. WhatsApp ~ Officially becoming my favourite app now that my mom realises she can phone people on it!

12. My Big Fat Asian Wedding ~ I am looking forward to my mom's wedding more than mine and she hasn't even got a groom yet... Sid5eva!

13. Roast Lamb ~ Maybe it was just Sibling's I liked, but I liked it a lot!

14. Freeze n Squeeze Cocktails ~ Why pay loads of money for a cocktail when you can get one for £1.99 in your local supermarket? It's the grown up slush puppy of the world!

15. Pina Coladas ~ AND getting caught in the rain!

16. Sleeping Bags ~ I've been sleeping in one for a while now, so I'm pretty much used to them now!

17. Benidorm ~ I've been watching the whole series and the start was pretty epic. The recent ones, eh, not so much.

Aaaaaand finally, 18. Punctuation ~ People, commas are your best friends!

This plea for help.

So that's April, see me next month when apparently I'm liking May!

Toodles :)