Tuesday, 10 March 2015

The Problem With Periods

Hello, Schneckens!
I am on my period, hence the pain, aches and illnesses that have removed me from my usual high standards of blogging - or whatever we call it! I know many of you didn't need to hear this, but there's no point ignoring the elephant in a woman's room - we bleed. A lot. All for the name of science and nature and any other factor I really don't give a hoot about!

Periods are just a nuisance. For up to nearly a week, the lining of our uterus will shed and will cause a ton of uncomfortable pain just because we didn't get ourselves knocked up a particular month. Jeez, I thought my uterus would be pleased that I'm not giving it a tenant for nine months that will surely wreck everything down there. But that's the shitty thing - once you start having sex, you pray that you will have your period just so you know that you are not with child. In fact, everyone around you will pray that you bleed that month, even if they are not at all religious. So even though we hate the pain, we're a bit of a masochist in a sense because we willingly want it to happen so we can rest assured that our poor, poor bedroom antics have not resulted in a big ol' bundle of surprise and horror - remember folks, don't fuck the Portuguese Guy!

Another thing is that women rely on periods to know if everything is okay with their health. One of the most distressing effects of an eating disorder is the disruption of the menstrual cycle and can be heartbreaking as it indicates how much their health is declining. The period can also indicate signs of certain Cancers and other serious medical illnesses that can be detected through the way a woman bleeds. We may not what to bleed, but it's amazing what a period, or lack of a period, can show medically for a woman.

Also, for young girls, the period is the first step into womanhood. Every girl remembers their first period and it's a heartwarming story to share with people - especially for my mother who proudly declared it to everyone. My first period was a month after my 13th birthday and I went toilet, felt something odd and to my horror, I was bleeding! I knew what it was, but my mother wasn't home yet. I felt scared when it started because I knew it meant I was growing up and it felt like that time had slapped me for the first time and I realised that I was actually becoming a woman. The next day we went to a Jack the Ripper tour, I could feel it the whole time, so when I got home, I went bathroom and acted all surprised, then called my mother and we bonded over pads. The most emotional part for every parent.

Speaking of pads, why do pads and tampons cost SO DAMN MUCH?!?! There is a campaign at the moment and quite frankly, I am disappointed it hasn't happened sooner. Why the hell should we have to pay so much for them when it's not our choice to bleed. You think we would choose this if we could? Lord no! Why would we want to bleed, ruin so much underwear, become hormonal beasts and feel so much pain? If there was a simpler alternative, we WOULD take it, trust me - a woman, currently bleeding and gorging on lettuce because I'm low on ions. That's another thing, we lose a lot of minerals in our blood and we could easily faint.

Women really are superheroes.

Toodles :)