Thursday, 19 March 2015

How To NOT Lose Your Mind

Hi there, Schneckens!
I just ate a jam and ham roll and it was so damn nice that I think I'll have another one at 4am, which is the exact moment I made this creation. Yes, I was THAT hungry, okay. I ate all the biscuits and I don't want to open an other one just yet.

So I am in Bathway at the moment and I am further losing my mind over this AV stuff. It takes 20 minutes to do one line, so imagine doing four or five. Yes, hours. It takes an hour for one line of text. Save me from this pitiable doom. Also, if you do save me, bring me a ham and jam sandwich because that stuff is seriously good. I have the appetite of a pregnant woman, but I swear I am not with child. Remember, folks - Don't fuck the Portuguese Guy!

Anyway, let's find out how to not lose your mind if you still have it, unlike me, who lost it the moment I checked the fridge for my keys..

How To NOT Lose Your Mind:

1. Tidy your room ~ They say that your room represents the state of your mind, so if you have a messy room, chances are you have a very, very, very messy mind. I speak from experience, my room was so terrible before I finally tidied up that I never knew I had a pair of black skinny jeans and that my "lost" keys were just under a book. Yes, that happened in ONE day.

2. Keep a diary ~ A real one. The one that those classy schneckens keep in their bags so they can whip it out and ensure that they know what they're doing with life. It may make your bag clunky on a day where it's full to the brim, but in the long term, it is beyond useful. I don't have one, but I really wish I did. Hint, my birthday is coming up. Hint hint.

3. Pre-prepare things ~ If you can make a meal at least the day before when you're not busy, turn off that laptop and fucking make it! Trust me, it makes that bitchin' busy day in the future a lot more bearable, so a) you get a healthy meal and b) you're not shouting at the cooker for turning itself off, even though you were leaning on the button. If there's a free time slot, use it for your own benefit.

4. Plan your outfits in advance ~ Ladies and gentlemen, we have all been there. We are beyond stressed and we can't find that top we really wanted to wear that day! So the night before, get it all ready and laid out so when you get up and do your shiz, you have your clothes lovingly waiting for you.

5. Pack the bag the night before ~ God, it's like being back in school. Seriously, if you need a bag full of things the next day, do it the night before to save time and to stop yourself from going super crazy and forgetting something, like a pen.

6. Always carry a pen ~ You'll need one, trust me,

7. Have a sleeping pattern ~ I suck at sleep and I know many other people who do too. We, as a result, suck at life. Therefore, get 6-8 hours of sleep and stick to a sleeping pattern for most of the time, excluding those wild weekends and late night texting sessions with the guy formally known a the "sex god".

8. Eat a balanced meal ~ Don't do a me and binge one day and think it's cool to starve the next; it won't work and you will crash. Eat three meals a day, all full of what you need, drink water and have a carrot if you get peckish. Or a chicken and stuffing sandwich, because you deserve it for getting this far!

9. Don't fuck the Portuguese Guy ~ Actually, just avoid him at all costs. His tempting Portuguese-ness will just linger on in your mind, making you slowly lose all senses.

10. Have 'Me' time ~ Treat yourself, watch a film, blow bubbles etc. Just don't stress yourself out so your mind can no longer function. You need to function for the sake of mankind!

And there you go. I was useful. Now get on with what you need to do and eat the ham and jam sandwich. It's awesome!

Toodles :)

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