Tuesday, 10 February 2015

Types of Singletons

Sup, dearest Schneckens!
You're in my heart and you're in my soul. I'm sorry, that just popped into my head because I am so freakin' hungry right now and in desperate need for a good ol' sandwich. I like sandwiches. So I'm at Bathway right now, gazing at a picture that has inspired my lighting design. Again, this is probably my sandwich cravings. Why a sandwich? I like sandwiches I guess.

Speaking of sandwiches, if you've lovingly clicked on this, I take it you're not sandwiched between some lover's arms and you're on your own like a good chunk of the population. Technically you're not alone because I'm here and I have sandwiches, like ham, or cheese, or both. TOASTED. Oh god that's hotter than the sexy bastard Tomás and he's always hot, dammit! Sorry, I'm rambling. Fear not, fellow singletons, the single life rocks (yes, I already blogged that) and just remember this: chocolate will be hella cheap. You. Are. Welcome!

Types of Singletons:

The Independant Woman ~ She hasn't got time for all that relationship malarky because she's looking after number 1 - herself. Her life is her life and she doesn't need anything getting in her way right now!

The Working Man ~ He is career driven and if he keeps at it, he might finally get that promotion that should have been his ages ago. A relationship is just not necessary right now!

The 'I'm Happy With My Current Situation' ~ Knows that they're single and isn't upset about it. Sure it might have taken a while to get to that point, but now they realise that being in a relationship wouldn't be the greatest thing in the world.

The 'I Say I'm Happy Being Single, But Really I Hate It' ~ Sick of the constant 'how are you still single' shit and tells people they are happy, but really they just want someone to cuddle up to on a Sunday morning as the light shines through the window. Damn, I like lighting too much.

The Constant Thirst ~ There'll reach a point when the urge for sex because too much and they'll pretty much hump anything insight. Just remember: Don't fuck the Portuguese Guy!!

The Casual-ty ~ Gives into those sexual desires and indulges in the casual sex lifestyle, getting all the booty/all the D that a human could possibly put inside of them. But eventually this lifestyle runs thin and either your heart is hurt or you get an STI.

The Bridget Jones ~ Just watch the film.

Aaaaaand finally, The Hopeless Romantic ~ After ages of being single, it seems like love will blossom. Then someone says 'fuck it', so now you are heartbroken and watching so many rom-coms. SO. MANY.

There you go. Embrace the single lifestyle. I mean, would you rather be single, when you're free and able to eat all the sausages (the literal kind) or with someone who doesn't make you happy and eats all YOUR sausages. Yeah, I thought so!

Toodles :)