Thursday, 26 February 2015

How To Remain Friends After Romantic Rejection

Hey, Hey, Heeeeeeey, Schneckens!
It's suddenly dawned on me that I'm doing an Improv Workshop on Saturday. I'm actually pretty excited about this! More excited than a cat that just got the cream, or in my cat's case (RIP, Snibbs), a cat that just found a carrier bag and now keeps sleeping in it and likes to be dragged around. Ah, she was a great cat.

Sorry, I've started rambling on about cats. Spoiler - I like cats. I once said that to a friend of mine and he responded 'I like pussies too'. I don't think we were talking about the same thing.. Is it weird I sorta love him? Sorry, I'm rambling again! Next time I ramble, just spray water into my face. I am here for a reason today. Basically, as the title says, I'm here to, hopefully, offer some tips on how to remain friends after someone you really like rejects you and now you're stuck in a weird cycle of emotions and questions. For most of the time, I have remained friends with those who rejected me, only a handful of people I have erased from my life and would happily dance on their grave. Okay, that was too extreme, but you get my point. Was there a point? Let's do this now before I start talking about Sheldon.

How To Remain Friends After Romantic Rejection:

1. Give each other space ~ It's going to be difficult for both of you. I mean, one of you has been rejected and the other one was the reject-er. Instead of trying to pretend it never happened and trying to make things as less awkward as humanly possible, accept that is nearly impossible and just allow each other some space to deal with these overwhelming feelings.

2. Stop stalking them ~ People, we know that you use Facebook to see what they are doing with their lives. Now it's time to move your mouse to the corner of that page and sign out because constantly having them all up in your grill will just hurt you more and will most likely lead to some sort of hatred because that bastard already has a new girlfriend whilst you're crying yourself to sleep with a galaxy bar in between your arms in a loving embrace. True story.

3. Don't use your friends to find out dirt ~ I know you want a reason for why they took your heart and broke it into tiny little pieces, but your friends will know as much about it as you - little. Unless you were rejected in an adult manner. What is that?

4. Likewise, don't use their friends to find out dirt ~ Chances are they are a complete and utter sociopath who thrives off brokenhearted individuals' tears and will stir so much that you end up hating the poor soul who rejected you for a legit reasons.

5. Gradually start to talk to them ~ Don't cut them out completely because it's not their fault that they didn't see you in the same light. Instead, a simple 'hey' or 'how's it going?' will most likely ease you into a nice friendship territory, instead of 'I hate you for breaking my heart' territory. Unless they keep avoiding you, then by means, you can be pissed.

6. Don't Fuck The Portuguese Guy ~ Seriously, it solves nothing and will not change anything. All you'll feel is sadness and PPVA. Actually, if PPVA was a result of this encounter, good job, it must have been great! Still, don't fuck the Portuguese guy!

7. Accept what has happened ~ Denial is the first stage, I guess, but eventually you need to accept that there are plenty more fish in that sea and you have your whole life to keep exploring it. Even if you're approaching the end, someone is still there for you! What a down sentence. Enjoy a picture of Sheldon.

8. Love yourself ~ If you do all this and then love yourself, you won't hate so much. You'll realise that the worst hasn't happened and you have so much to offer in this world - plus, you'll still have a friend. If you felt that strongly about them in the first place, they must have been awesome in the first place, so you'd probably want to keep them. Unless they rejected you through a note, then seriously, move away.

Aaaaand there you go! I offer legit advice that I wish I had all those months ago. Alas, I didn't, so I learnt it myself. It takes time, but chocolate helps.

Toodles :)

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