Thursday, 12 February 2015

How To Give Someone Your V Card

Hey, Hey, Heeeeeey, Schneckens!
Thursday is upon us, which means another productive day where I pretend I know what to do with regards to lighting. Eventually they will realise that I'm just repeating the same stuff in the hope that I can eventually think of a legit concept. Until then, I'm stinking with the same ol' schdick. That's a funny word. Oh yeah, I got my ear syringed yesterday, so I can hear! YAAASSS!

Let's continue with this Valentine's theme because I'm rather enjoying sharing this experience with you, my dear reader. Today we shall discuss something very big and important. The V Card. Or more specifically, how to give it to someone. So sit back or whatever you choose to do and let me show you.

How To Give Someone Your V Card:

1. Make the decision ~ Decide whether you're ready to do this, remember no pressure and it's YOUR decision; no one else's. Don't give into peer pressure, if you're genuinely ready, then go for it.

2. Go to the right shop ~ If you've decided that you're ready for this, then onto the next step. The shop. You don't want to go to some cheap ol' place that sells cheap quality stuff. You want quality that really makes an impact for the both of you and especially your romantic interest.

3. Choose the right time to buy it ~ You don't want to go at a time when loads to people will be about because just imagine if you bump into someone you know or they know - the awks will be unreal!

4. Dress appropriately ~ Okay, you've bought what you need and now you'r getting ready to meet the person. Wear something that you're comfortable in, but at the same time, dress a little bit more nicely to really capture the apple of your eye's attention.

5. Pep talk ~ Decide if you're really ready for this: remember, no pressure!

6. Go to meet the person ~ Now is the time. You've decided that you're ready and now you just need to hand it over and hope it goes well or better than what you think.

7. Hand it over ~ The person is right in front of you, your heart is racing and your throat has gone dry, but it's to do it. Get out that valentine's card in your bag and hand it over. The person has probably now grasped that it's a valentine's card given how the envolpe is bright red, like your face, but you've done it. You can breath in relief, but only briefly, because they are now opening it. Who knows that happens next!!

You could also make the card, but who has the time for that nowadays with such busy schedules? Hope that was useful for you - wait, you thought I was going to tell you how to - Oh heaven's no! I can't tell you that, you smutty pigeons! Gosh, keep your head out of the gutter!

Toodles :)

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