Thursday, 19 February 2015

11 Signs That They Just Want Sex

Greetings, Schneckens!
What a weird way to start. Does anyone actually say 'greetings' in everyday conversations? I don't think so.. Jeez, how weird am I?!

Anyway, you've probably noticed a few patterns emerge - when it comes to piss poor attempts at relationships, I get both the crown and the biscuit. I've decided to focus on myself now. So cliché, I know! But I mean it now, I really am content with being single. Let's face it, guys have wrecked me more than Miley Cyrus' wrecking ball and I'd rather be on my own if it means I can be happy with myself. My last encounter with a male wasn't even romantic, it was purely based around sex... Hence this post! See, everything links together. So here's how to spot if he/she just wants to have sex with you and remember - Don't fuck the Portuguese Guy!

11 Signs That They Just Wants Sex:

1. They don't acknowledge you in the working environment ~ Normally if a person is head over heels with someone, they'll be all up in your grill, even at work. When they don't even acknowledge you, it shows a disinterest in you and little intentions to actually get to know you on a personal level. Work - they can't get your booty, so no effort.

2. They don't acknowledge you when with their mates ~ Whether it's in work or outside, when they're with their mates, you're not even on their radar. They don't want their friends to think you two are an item because there is no romantic feelings for you, only sexual.

3. Their compliments are limited to personal appearance ~ Sure, when they are interested in a relationship, they will compliment how you look, but that's along with other things. When they're just saying you look 'hot', 'fit' or 'fuckable' it's clear that they want you, but only in bed.

4. They've had a string of short term relationships ~ If they've had more relationships than you've had hot dinners, chances are they weren't really relationships and most of their encounters (not even dates) were restricted in the bedroom.

5. They just got out of a relationship ~ Two words for you: Rebound Sex. That is all.

6. They're in a relationship ~ But you don't know that (yet) because they are flirting outrageously with you. You're the other woman or man. Is other man a term? Why do women cheat loads of names, but men don't?

7. They rarely text you... ~ You're pretty much going to be the one sending the first message and they won't put much effort in. If they do text first, it's late, like after 1am. Don't even bother with phone calls, that's just a waste of time and effort.

8. ...Unless they think you want some ~ If they think you're down for it, they'll text you quicker than a vibrator stimulating an orgasm. I once innocently put a pic of bondage tape on my SnapChat and boom, got a voice note and message. Lucky me..

9. But their conversations are limited ~ They won't give much away. They'll let you lead and strategically push it towards sex. They often say they're busy if you suggest something.

10. EVERYTHING IS PURELY SEXUAL ~ Text messages - sexual. Conversations - sexual. Touching - sexual. Pictures - sexual. Shopping trip updates - sexual. Toilet habits - sexual, somehow. What is a normal, non-sexual conversation?!

11. They straight up tell you they just want sex ~ It saves a lot of time and effort if they just tell you this from the beginning, y'know. Like, I'd rather you just say you want my booty than us pretending we give a shittles about what you did that day.

And there you have it! This seems rather appropriate in my eyes, I mean, that's the jist of the "sex god" and I's relationship before we became just friends. Ahh, fun times. Just remember folks, if they do want sex and you do too and there's nothing stopping you, go ahead. But remember that sex is just sex, so don't go chasing unicorns.

Toodles :)