Thursday, 8 January 2015

How To Know You're About To Break Your NY Resolution

We've been in the new year for a week, Schneckens. Jeez.
In this week I have had little sleep; little food; witnessed the chap formerly known as "sex god" let it all out before we embarked on an actual friendship; CBB started with all its trash; Ronnie is still in her coma; Benedict Cumberbatch and fiancée are having a baby; the tragic events in France; I finished my essay and started taking my medication again. What a week.

Now what did I do today? Watched television and felt oddly hungry. Like I've been hungry all day and it's weird. Today is the 7th year anniversary of my Nan's death and whilst the grief gets easier over time, I still think about her. I often wonder if she's proud of what I'm doing with my life and stuff; I'm sure she is though - she's proud of all her family x

So what else is there to say? Not much to be honest. Instead, let's face it - one week into our new year and the resolutions are about to crumble. Here is how to know that's about to happen... So let's see if 'Don't Fuck The Portuguese Guy' can continue!

How To Know You're About To Break Your NY Resolution:

1. Everything becomes tempting ~ Initially, you're strong and full of the new year cheer, but as the first week ends, suddenly those calories just look delicious as fudge and you simply cannot be bothered to go to the gym anymore. I mean, you've already Instragramed (Instagrammed?) that shit to oblivion, as well as Facebook it, tweet it, snap it. Heck, that was more of a work out than what you've actually done in reality. Suddenly your bed on a Sunday morning seems more tempting than sweaty weights. Suddenly, I say; it's always been tempting to you..

2. Your motivation just slows down ~ You're back at work now, school or whatever it is that you may do with your life. The festive season means you can bullshit yourself with these promises, but when the work starts kicking in, junk food seems more accessible than healthy food; smoking just seems great and you're just too tired to read that book you've been meaning to get through for the past how many years!

3. You're cheating! (gasp!) ~ Just a cheeky swig of gin before Tom and Caroline come over to discuss the sale levels; just a biscuit or two; just 30 minutes at the gym; one page of that book; a walk to the shop; next mass service etc etc - Face it, you're not going to do it, so quit deluding yourself and everyone around you; we've already accepted that your promises were drunken and sloppy.


That's all I have truthfully because I need to get to sleep. I'm not sleeping well as you can tell; so let me snooze and I'll see you tomorrow!

Toodles :)