It's a bit of a sad post from me today because I am unable to hear properly and I fear that it'll require urgent medical attention this time. For me I only have a few fears in life - being alone, not fulfilling what I want to do and to lose the ability to hear. Since 2012 I have had a rocky relationship with sound and it's not been great since then. There was a brief period when it came back in 2013 and the sudden burst of sound shocked me to the greatest degree and I truly fell in love with the noises around me. From the sound of the wind; to the cars driving past and being able to listen to George Watsky properly for the first time! Of course being able to hear my family and friends was awesome, but finally hearing each tone to George's voice made me smile. Then my hearing declined and whilst it wasn't perfect, I could still hear. As long as people were on the right, I could hear fine.
But then Wednesday came and hearing became a challenge. I started to panic when I attempted to watch Hollyoaks and I could barely hear it on the volume that I always listened to it on. The next day I had to work with the 3rd years and my hearing was still poor and I struggled to hear everyone around me. It was like being underwater. Suddenly my ears popped and it was okay again. Until this afternoon. I son'r know what happened, but things went wrong and my hearing is at an all time low. I am scared. I've not felt this kinda vulnerability before and it startles me greatly. I try to joke about it, but in reality, not being able to hear properly saddens me. All I want is the ability to hear the sounds of the world around me. To hear each note in a song. To hear the sounds of traffic that typical Londeners despise. The gift of sound is a beautiful privilege and I would do anything to get that.