Saturday, 29 November 2014

Things I Learnt From Being Drunk

Argh, Schneckens!
As you can guess from the title, I got fucking smashed last night. I'm still too hungover to do a proper blog post, so I will do a double tomorrow to really make up the drunkenness. Yes, a double. I had a lotta doubles last night. Damn.

Therefore, here is what I learnt from being drunk.

Things I Learnt From Being Drunk:

1. I can walk in killer heels.
2. My hooker dress isn't that hookery.
3. My friends and I truly believe in the G Spot.
4. Russian Standard is the bee's knees.
5. I can handle shots better than anyone.
6. Anyone can pull the alarm thinking it's the light switch.
7. Doorbells scare the shittles out of me.
8. We all rooted for hoes to come to this party.
9. I am faster than I thought.
10. I have poor balancing skills.
11. I like to turn on taps.
12. I am proud of my kitchen utilities.
13. It takes a lot of people to get me to bed.
14. I strip with ease.
15. I can take my insulin without any problems.
16. Swagger Jagger still annoys me.
17. Rice is just the best party meal.
18. As are cookies and lemon curd.
19. I'm not over my past. Dammit.
20. You can never have too many lemons.

And that's what happened. Stay tuned for more tomorrow.

Toodles :)

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