Wednesday, 1 October 2014

Body-Focused Repetitive Behaviours Awareness Week

Hello, Schneckens!
I'm going to the theatre tonight, hence why your post is early today. This rarely happens, so embrace it! First things first, listen to this; you are very welcome. Embrace your inner sex kitten!

Today is the first day of the month (I hope someone changes my calendar at home..) and marks the beginning of Body-Focused Repetitive Behaviours Awareness Week; even though every week we should be raising awareness.. I've done numerous posts about my struggles with Trich, but I've also proudly celebrated my one year being pull free! Being pull free was one of the hardest things I've ever had to do because how do you resist the overwhelming urge to pull something that is scattered all over your body and you touch everyday? Somehow I managed to do it and I can honestly say that I am so proud of what I have achieved because it was not easy and for the most part, I was completely on my own.

I can't remember the first time I started pulling because I was pulling from a very young age, but then I just stopped. Literally, one day I was pulling, then I stopped. It wasn't until I was a teenager that I started pulling again. At first I saw no issues in it, it was just casual pulling at that point. I still had all my lashes and brows, mainly because I wasn't pulling that much there. Honestly, and this is something a lot of Trichsters shy away from, I was pulling from my pubic areas a lot for reasons I will never understand (N.B. Before you may start judging me for that, let's just remember how much courage that takes for someone to admit; I was a young teen; it's MY body and I don't anymore. For those interested, I am clean shaven down there for my OWN reasons, no one else's! Can't believe I have to specify that for some people!) Then one day I was on Wikipedia, just randomly searching things and somehow I ended up on Trichotillomania and I panicked. At that moment it started to dawn on me that what I was doing wasn't just a casual bad habit. I tried desperately to stop, but through resistance, the urge became more unbearable. Then school life started getting harder and my anxiety continuing to worsen, thus meaning that I was pulling more hair out than ever before, this time focusing solely on the lashes because it was the most accessible. At my worst, I pulled out the majority of my lashes, then moved onto brows, pulling from every area of my body. The lashes would go on the wall, mirror, posters etc like some sort of shrine to something that I couldn't understand. I would say that hundreds of lashes got onto these areas and no one ever knew.

It took a long time for someone to diagnose me, even though I always knew I had it. For years it dawned on me that this pulling wasn't healthy. I was told at the start that it was just a bad habit that would just go away after exams (lol, it didn't!) or wouldn't even know what it was. That's why BFRB Awareness Week is so gosh damn important to me. Many people never get diagnosed with the condition because so little is known about it and many choose to suffer in silence as they believe that no one else is suffering too. This week is the perfect week for people to understand the condition and to help raise awareness. It's not just a bad habit that will go away and the sooner people understand that, the sooner more can be done with this misunderstood condition!

My lashes in the morning; still not perfect,
but perfect for me x

Toodles :)

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