Bananas, Schneckens. Bananas.
You like bananas? I'm not high or anything, I just really want some bananas.
Ah, what a day. I had my flu jab, so I napped a lot. Also cooked chicken in the oven; which is groundbreaking because I have not done this yet. I have been terrified to use the oven, so go me! I'm late for a Wednesday, but again, I stress, flu jabs make me sleepy. Also, another groundbreaking moment today was that I deleted some pretentious and offensive twat from my phone. He never really made an impact in my life compared to the likes of Giraffe, the Portuguese sex god, heck, even Mystery Bus Guy, so this was more symbolic than meaningful. It just symbolises that I'm moving on now and I know that I don't need certain folk in my life. I got rid of Giraffe, which was far more groundbreaking than this limp squid that wanted to 'ram' me.. Okay then.. Thanks for making Mr 'send me pics/PPVA/DTF/let's make a sex tape/sex god' look like a saint. At least he never once made me feel uncomfortable and he brought out my wild side.
So yes. I am moving on. Some might say I am growing up.. Geddit? Growing Up? Jon Richardson's show on Channel 4? For goodness sake. This is what Jon has taught me because going to his 'Nidiot' show, I have realised that he has taught me a lot. So let's see what.
6 Things Jon Richardson Taught Me:
1. It's perfectly acceptable not to be visibly happy all the time ~ You know those days when you're in a good mood, but you don't show it through your face, so everyone keeps asking what's wrong? Yeah, those days are annoying because those consistent pestering just piddles you off, eventually. See, Jon gets it. He may take the piss out of himself, just like others do, but hey, he's clearly happy - you can tell he is by what he says. So don't feel like you have to force a smile; if you're happy, just do what you want to do. Don't be something you're not.
2. Similarly, you don't need to like everything ~ Don't be fooled into thinking that as human beings, who befriend other human beings, you need to like everything about that person or what they do. You can hate things and that's okay. As long as you're not being a dick about it, there's no harm really.
3. It's okay not to follow tradition, or be a stereotype ~ Society is a funny one because we're always told to be who we want to be, but when someone steps out of it, they are ridiculed. Men can cry too, men can clean, men don't have to be that strong, muscular man that was once the defining point of manhood. Just like how women don't have to be shopping obsessed, cooking fanatics who are bred to make babies and satisfy her man. Folks, be who you want to be and if others don't like it, then meh.
4. You don't need to rush through life ~ Jon has openly discussed how he went through his twenties not really doing anything. But look at him now - his thirties has seen him reach new highs in his career; meet his future wife and has a house he's always wanted. It's a common assumption that everything needs to happen quickly, but sometimes waiting can open you up to so many more opportunities - opportunities that are right for you and everything you need and want.
5. You need to laugh at yourself sometimes ~ Sometimes we don't want to and we want to create the impression that we are flawless beings. But come on, we're not. We've all had those days when we burnt the main meal for a very important dinner party. We've all had those days when we've tripped up the stairs. We've all had those god awful dates that are probably a big ol' 'FU' from some superhuman force. But if we can't laugh at it, then who can? If you laugh at yourself, then others can't hurt you, right? RIGHT?!
6. Cardigans are life ~ Surely that's self explanatory.
And that's just somethings I've learnt from the cardigan wearing, joke making Nidiot. It's been a fun experience. I'll probably continue to learn more - like always bring medication for stomach upsets, when abroad, just in case. Just in case...