Thursday, 28 August 2014

How To Prepare For School

What up, Schneckens?!
Embedded image permalinkFirst things first I'm the realest. Nah, I'm just messing with you. Although, with enough vodka in me, I truly believe I am Iggy Azalea - I blame the butt. Seriously, first things first, DID YOU WATCH THE GREAT BRITISH BAKE OFF LAST NIGHT?!?!?! Holy shittles that was more tense than a guy trying to shave his balls. Oh, what a weird comparison! There hasn't been such a controversial moment since stolen custard gate (Poor Howard!) I really didn't like how Diana reacted to it to be completely honest. I'm sure it was just a mistake in the heat of the moment (geddit?), but she didn't seem very apologetic. In fact, did she apologise? It wasn't very fair on Iain and who the hell takes out someone's ice cream, on the hottest day of the year, without asking? So yeah, things are definitely heating up in Bake Off!

Okay, now onto business! Whilst I may be free from school now, I am aware that loads and loads AND LOADS of folk still have to go to school. Ah, those last weeks of your summer holiday, where you desperately tried to do everything you wanted before the horror of returning to the imprisonment, otherwise known as school. I remember those days. I used to get weepy as September neared and I would try to make every day special; even if it was just going to park - after all, you can't go to the park any time you want when you're back in a classroom...unless you bunk, which may be a reason why some folk are in education for an extra year. So sit back, drink a summery beverage as I teach you how to prepare for school!

How To Prepare For School:

1. Start going to bed earlier ~ All those late nights when bed time no longer the night before you woke up. In fact, it was in the same day. Some days you didn't even go to bed (to sleep). Those days need to end now. Like a prison, you need to go to bed at a fixed time so you get into a routine that eventually becomes embedded in your soul. Plus, you just need a lot of sleep, because even though the start is pretty tame, those days will sharply end and you're be getting less sleep; so get as much as you can now!

2. Buy basic stationary ~ Listen, you don't need fancy-ass pens; pencils; rulers etc, you just need cheap, basic stuff. Cheap ballpoint pens are your best option, a few pencils, a simple basic ruler, a rubber, sharpener and that's pretty much it. Then again, if you need certain things for your subject, then obviously, go get it; but don't go crazy and pay OTT prices. Chances are you will lose them in the first half term, so don't pay stupid prices for things that won't last a long time.

3. Get good lined paper ~ This is especially important for A-Level students. Lined paper will either be your best friend, or the friend that screws you over. I'd recommend you pay a little bit more for good quality (good notebooks) because you need to be able to write down everything; do homework; notes and miscellaneous. Plus, you don't want paper that will rip or get lost. That shiz is the worst.

4. Folders! ~ Granted, I didn't use folders for all my subjects, but when you do History and you're studying lord knows how many time periods, you really don't want to get things muddled up. So get yourself a few folders (good ones), just so you don't lose anything. Whatever year you are in, you don't want to lose your work because the stress will be unreal.


5. Stop eating junk ~ Junk food and school don't go well together. I'm not saying become a total health freak, but a few more fruit and veg in your diet will go a long way.

6. Hang out with your friends ~ If you go different schools, this is pretty much the only time for a while you'll get together, so enjoy it. Actually, regardless of school, or not, just hang out with your friends; those folk are the bee's knees.

7. Make sure you have your uniform ready ~ Ideally, since school will be starting in the next few weeks (for folk I know, at least) your uniform should be sorted by now. I hated getting my uniform because in my sixth form, females had to wear certain blouses and guys could wear any smart clothes they had. We had to pay extra for them blouses and go further. Furk sake. In the end, I just gave up and started wearing whatever blouse I wanted (I worked out that wearing a white blouse, with a black bra, with a pencil skirt, made me look like a sexy secretary!) For folk who don't have to wear uniform, pick wisely for the first day - that's all that folk care about to be honest.

8. Complete the work you were asked to do ~ If you were given work, that is! Seriously, even if they don't mark it (some won't), it can be useful for you as you start the course. Plus, gets your mind into the frame set of school. So yeah.

9. Have your bag packed ~ Don't do it on the day. Have it packed in advance so you don't have to worry about it. It's kinda like going on holiday, except you won't enjoy school; in fact, some days will be the worst day of your life so far. Then again, the first day you get to see your friends, those teachers that are fly and discover people that you weren't attracted to before, but now you suddenly are. When that happens, run the fuck away. Trust. Me.

10. Stay calm ~ Okay? For me, I used to be incredibly anxious about starting school, no matter what year I was in. I'm certain that many other folk will be like this too. The best thing to do is to take deep breaths and focus on each present moment. Don't stress about what hasn't happened yet. You don't know what's going to happen and you can't predict anything. For any anxious folk who are going on a team building exercise and haven't been told what's happening, stay with a friend and take deep breaths (Yes, this happened to me - had FIVE panic attacks that MORNING. And cut myself pretty bad. Thanks, teacher - I asked her what we were doing, and it was clear I was nervous, but nope. Nothing!)


And that's all I can think of. Just remember, even though I'm quite negative about some things, it's not all bad. Once you get into a routine, it's not so scary. It's just because you've got so used to being away that returning is a shock to the system and that's slightly worrying you. It's okay to be nervous about going back and it's perfectly normal. Remember: deep breaths and stay with the moment; don't try to predict tomorrow!

Toodles :)