Wednesday, 27 August 2014

Ham 'n' Jam

Hi, my glorious little Schneckens!
"Why are you in such a jolly good mood today?!" I hear you exclaim from the top of your delightfully perfect lungs! Well, I went on a date... BUT not just any date, no, far from it. This fine Tsarina doesn't need a date with a man to put her in a good mood - well, actually, a good, albeit a great date, with a man can do wonders on a Russian minx, like myself. Yes, a Russian minx. It sounds so fun! Oh wait, this is making me sound a tad floozy-ish. I'm not, I swear!

Sorry, what was I saying before I zoned out? Oh, yes. I went on a date. A lunch date. I had a picnic, on TellyTubby Hill, with.... MY ASIAN MOM. Yes, my mom! I don't know who if this has disappointed some of you.. I mean, I sounded pretty happy - like, 'I just got laid' happy. But no, whilst I did not fornicate in the bushes like Oasis would suggest, I had a glorious afternoon with my Mom, Ruby. I really needed a day like this because sometimes it is really easy to lose yourself amongst the stress of daily life, and my goodness, life is stressful. I have to start officially preparing for Uni (So. Much. Shopping.); deal with my financial woes and then live like the youngster that I am. So this afternoon was a glorious little break for me, and what better way to do that than with your Asian mom.

First we had our little picnic and I prepared a monster of a feast! I made my famous salad, consisting of a tomato, cucumber, apple, orange, few grapes and blueberries - with a splash of tzatziki - that stuff is just sex, basically. Then I prepared a mini pasta salad cos the lettuce was going a bit funky and not the good kinda funky.. We also had some mini scotch eggs and a chicken thing, which in the container, were unfortunately shaped as a phallus.. Okay then.. Moving on quickly, I also prepared a roll for us to share and it is perhaps the greatest combination ever: Ham and freakin' jam!! If you haven't tried it, do it, do it now! The sweetness really compliments the ham. To top it all of, Ruby embraced her inner momness and baked some cookies; they were freakin' amazing and that might explain my excitement. They were sooo good. Like, hot Portuguese guy eating an apple good. Dayum.

The rest of the afternoon just consisted of us nerding it out in Waterstones - I just had to go to the Russian history section; it's too beautiful there! Although, they changed it, so it's higher now, which greatly piddled me off. Then we went to Poundland because, well, Poundland. They really love Holly Willoughby there. Then we got on the 69 bus, where Ruby went home, but I began a journey - I just got on random buses because it's free for now. Yolo. Now I'm home, excited for tomorrow, which is a phrase I thought ceased to exist at one point. Eeeeeeeeek.

Toodles :)

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