Sunday, 31 August 2014

A New Path

Happy Sunday, Schneckens!
So... It's the last day of August. I know, I know; it's okay to start weeping uncontrollably. I'm already weeping, but I think that's because I'm listening to 'Pretty Hurts' again. I don't know why, but I am. I guess we can all kinda relate to this song - we all strive to become a particular way to fit in with a certain society. Then again, I'm most likely talking crap.

September will be a new beginning for me because, as I've said endless amounts of time, I'm starting University. That's still yet to sink in! It's weird though. As I was lying in bed last night, it dawned on me that I'm not going to see some people ever again; some of which actually pains me because they've carved in a little part of themselves into my life. I guess that's the saddest thing about starting a new chapter and going down a new path because no one likes accepting that you're going to miss someone more than they'll miss you. You always dream that they'll miss you unconditionally, the same way you are feeling, but they simply won't and they've already replaced you long before the idea crossed your mind. Even though I will meet new people and form unique relationships with them, it won't be the same as what you shared with someone else; even if it was the smallest of relationships. Most of my relationships were formed in my sixth form and the idea that I won't be in that common room, talking about random weirdness with my closest friends everyday; talking to those in my classes about the work or general stuff; talking to the year 12s about whatever is relevant in that little segment of the common room, is hella sad. Whilst I have a whole future ahead of me and there will be plenty of new people along the way, at this current moment in time, knowing that I won't see some people again is actually devastating because I actually really liked them.

Then there's the whole shebang of moving out. Yes, I am biting the bullet and living in halls for the first year. I thought it would be a good thing to do; you know, get to meet people; party and it's closer to the actual campus so saves time in the long term. I don't know how I feel about moving out. I'm quite nervous, okay, extremely nervous. But that's because I have a horrid feeling that I'm the only female in my flat. Fuuuuuuuuuuu- For some outrageously flirtatious women, this is paradise for them, but for socially awkward me this idea seems like sheer torture. Don't get me wrong, I like guys, like really like them, but considering I like to occasionally bitch about them to other females, you can kinda see my dilemma. Before we can even contemplate how I will survive, I have to plan for my departure from the household. So. Much. Shopping. I know it's a stressful time for everyone, but I really wish my parents would just calm the furk down because it is making me more stressed than I can actually handle. They've banned me from going out next weekend, which is a piss-take to be honest; but screw it, I'm going out if I want to. I need to get out of this stressful environment at times before I suffocate from the extreme pressure of it all. I am going to miss this place though. I mean, Bake Off on a big screen and free food; le sigh.

So that's what my next month holds: me entering a new world of newfound freedom. Oh gawd. Before I go to Uni, I'm going to pop back to school to see some teachers who weren't there on result's day, just to tell them my plans. Plus, I can attempt to see some folk I like. But there's not a lot left, so for some I might just flip the bird and tell them to go furk themselves!

Toodles :)

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