Sunday, 31 August 2014

A New Path

Happy Sunday, Schneckens!
So... It's the last day of August. I know, I know; it's okay to start weeping uncontrollably. I'm already weeping, but I think that's because I'm listening to 'Pretty Hurts' again. I don't know why, but I am. I guess we can all kinda relate to this song - we all strive to become a particular way to fit in with a certain society. Then again, I'm most likely talking crap.

September will be a new beginning for me because, as I've said endless amounts of time, I'm starting University. That's still yet to sink in! It's weird though. As I was lying in bed last night, it dawned on me that I'm not going to see some people ever again; some of which actually pains me because they've carved in a little part of themselves into my life. I guess that's the saddest thing about starting a new chapter and going down a new path because no one likes accepting that you're going to miss someone more than they'll miss you. You always dream that they'll miss you unconditionally, the same way you are feeling, but they simply won't and they've already replaced you long before the idea crossed your mind. Even though I will meet new people and form unique relationships with them, it won't be the same as what you shared with someone else; even if it was the smallest of relationships. Most of my relationships were formed in my sixth form and the idea that I won't be in that common room, talking about random weirdness with my closest friends everyday; talking to those in my classes about the work or general stuff; talking to the year 12s about whatever is relevant in that little segment of the common room, is hella sad. Whilst I have a whole future ahead of me and there will be plenty of new people along the way, at this current moment in time, knowing that I won't see some people again is actually devastating because I actually really liked them.

Then there's the whole shebang of moving out. Yes, I am biting the bullet and living in halls for the first year. I thought it would be a good thing to do; you know, get to meet people; party and it's closer to the actual campus so saves time in the long term. I don't know how I feel about moving out. I'm quite nervous, okay, extremely nervous. But that's because I have a horrid feeling that I'm the only female in my flat. Fuuuuuuuuuuu- For some outrageously flirtatious women, this is paradise for them, but for socially awkward me this idea seems like sheer torture. Don't get me wrong, I like guys, like really like them, but considering I like to occasionally bitch about them to other females, you can kinda see my dilemma. Before we can even contemplate how I will survive, I have to plan for my departure from the household. So. Much. Shopping. I know it's a stressful time for everyone, but I really wish my parents would just calm the furk down because it is making me more stressed than I can actually handle. They've banned me from going out next weekend, which is a piss-take to be honest; but screw it, I'm going out if I want to. I need to get out of this stressful environment at times before I suffocate from the extreme pressure of it all. I am going to miss this place though. I mean, Bake Off on a big screen and free food; le sigh.

So that's what my next month holds: me entering a new world of newfound freedom. Oh gawd. Before I go to Uni, I'm going to pop back to school to see some teachers who weren't there on result's day, just to tell them my plans. Plus, I can attempt to see some folk I like. But there's not a lot left, so for some I might just flip the bird and tell them to go furk themselves!

Toodles :)

Saturday, 30 August 2014

3 Reasons Why Summer Has Been Relatively Awesome

Hello there, Schneckens!
Ah, summer... So many plans and so many dreams, and you know what, it's been a pretty good summer. As August reaches its eventual conclusion, it is clear that summer is almost a heartbeat away from finishing, which is a shame. I mean, who doesn't like the feeling that comes with the summer holidays? My summer has been longer than most, starting in June and I no longer have to return to school in September - that itself is an achievement! So that's been three months? Wow. So much has happened in those months; and whilst it hasn't been easy the whole way through as there were some very bleak moments, I've found a spark again and I'm hoping this spark can get me through the final stages before I start the next chapter - University. Eeek.

This summer was a very important time for me. Not only was it the summer I had to endure the bittersweet sensation of exam results, it was the summer I metaphorically grew as a woman (and literally, I think my breasts have grown!) Plus, with the release of my book: 'No Soul To Sell and Other Short Stories', I've found a new lease of confidence in my abilities and most importantly, showed me who exactly I want in my life. Then there's the whole amazing days I spent with my friends, which itself is just sublime. Summer truly has been awesome. So let's check out why, shall we?

3 Reasons Summer Has Been Relatively Awesome:

1. Boys, Boys, Boys! ~ Remember that Lady Gaga song? That was a catchy song! But yes, summer is always a time when males and I connect more. Maybe it's because I don't have the stress of school holding me back and the judgmental eyes of society glaring at me. Plus, a free house really helps, just sayin'.. I'm never a woman to kiss and tell when it comes to the successes of my interaction with males, no, far from it - I think the blog has proved that! Yet this summer there were two sides of the story: one side was that it was great, like, really great and the other side was shit. But when I say shit, I say it in the sense that I realised that some men are just inexplicable, in both their vulgar actions and behaviour. That was a wake up call for me and I cut out a lot of them from my life now. I won't be objectified, nor judged by my past, from someone who only knows half the story.
       Song that gets it:


2. Right Now ~ Without a shadow of a doubt, this past month I have felt a tad low. I've openly discussed how low I felt, so I don't think it's necessary to bring it up again; it's a hard thing to talk about. Yet through experiencing these moments, I realised that life shouldn't be rushed; shouldn't be regretted and shouldn't be thrown away. The moment that changed that for me was Pound a Portrait and being openly allowed to talk about my battles with mental health, during such a hectic time, for a documentary was a privilege. What made it more special was the response I received afterwards. Many got in touch with me, thanking me and praising me for the courage that I have continued to show. In Watsky's song: 'Right Now', he states "life is hard and then you die. So let's all go hard tonight." That really got me because he's right, life is hard and it won't stop  ceasing to be hard and we will die, but that shouldn't be our lives. This summer I did things I've always dreamed of ; met YouTubers; saw Jon Richardson live; went to a comedy club; had parties (my version of parties) and got out there more. Right now is right now and no other time now - and I need to remember that right now, I'm pretty good, and when I'm down, I need to remind myself that I can do it because I am stronger than I give myself credit for.
       Song that gets it:


3. No Matter What ~ Good friends will always be there for you until the end of time and this summer was so moving as for the first time ever, I went out a lot. It may have been just to the coffee shop, or the park, or Westfield, or walks down Wood Street, but spending it with my family was so special. We all went through a tough period when exam result season came knocking on our doors and all of us have had individual battles that were help fought from each one of us. We're all going to University, which is sad because we won't all see each other every day and that's what hurts the most because my friends are the greatest thing to ever happen to me. There's not a cat's hell in chance I would've got over Note-Gate, Book-Gate, Perv-Gate, Parents-Gate without them and that's a shit load of gates to be completely honest. I may be a miserable furker sometimes, but when I'm with them, I feel a lot more better and I laugh so much that I look more loopy than a box of loops? See, even they wouldn't care about that shittles comparison! In life you meet a few people who really stand out and these gals - and they know who they are since they've been in how many blog posts now?! - will be in my life until the stars run out. They are my stars and they shine for me, as much as I shine for them!
       Song that gets it:


That's pretty much the gist of it all. Summer has been quite the experience. It's not over just yet though! So it's time to keep adding to those memories. Whilst the weather has been crappy, I've had a jolly good time. Ah, summer, how I love thou.

Toodles :)

Friday, 29 August 2014

Easily Amazed Divas In Greenwich

Hi, Schneckens!
This was just one of the songs we proudly sang on the London Underground last night. Wanna hear something funny? We weren't even drunk! The five of us: Myself, Ruby K (mom), Ruby F (son), Tanaka (sis) and Josephine (sis-in-law) all went to see Jon Richardson last night at Greenwich's 'Up The Creek'. It was perhaps the greatest nights of my life and the fact that none of us had consumed a drop of alcohol, yet were so giddy, was just incredible. I strive for nights like these because they only happen once in a while, but when they do, boooooooom!

Firstly, my son was early to Central...again. But fear not, dear schneckens, I arrived promptly and waited for her to realise that I was standing there. It took a while, not too long though! But then, she gave me one of the nicest things ever - an autograph from YouTuber Thomas Ridgewell (a.k.a. TomSka!) I was so, so, so happy because that guy really helped me when I was going through a depressive stage and he gave me the courage to go see a doctor about how I was feeling! Plus, he's just seems like such a down-to-earth guy. Eventually the others arrived and we got on the tube. Whenever I'm on the Victoria Line I just think of Coronha now, which is a little bit awks given the content of that story. All of us were bouncing of each other's conversations and there was a brief moment of uncertainty as I got off the tube, but they doubted me. It's okay, they got off the tube! It wasn't Rachel in Friends style, but they got off the tube. At Euston, things were just hilarious as we started singing Anaconda, proudly showcasing our butts - not in that way though. Our conversations got a tad strange as I openly admitted how I sorta missed my daily hassle for an indecent picture - it got so weird that a man got off the carriage to get into the next one. Awks. The DLR was equally as weird to be honest. Myself and the Rubys (Rubies?) decided to hold hands, where I conducted a weird, incestuous marriage. I did warn you things would get weird.

Then we arrived at Greenwich! For anyone who doesn't know, this is where I am going to University, so you can imagine my sheer amazement that I'm going to this place in less than a month. Seriously, I am still in disbelieve. When we left the station, we made our way to comedy club, 'Up The Creek' and as we were early, we went to the pub next door - 'Lord Hood'. It was so lovely in there. The locals were so kind and friendly, making us feel super welcome. Plus, there was a magician and he performed a magic trick on us - he blew my mind and stole my heart...


...He didn't steal it for long though because after our hilarious time in the queue, we made it indoors. Jon Richardson time. The show will be out in September, so you can wait till then to hear about that! What made the night even more spectacular was that the warm up guy, Mark, spoke to me in the audience and I got to show off my Russian-ness. It was the best moment ever and I loved every second of it. The actual performance from Jon was mind blowing and in real life he's even more incredible than on television. I can't wait to see him in October! I can't actually express how happy I was throughout the whole thing - which is nice since the piece was on happiness.



After the amazing show, we all went to McDonald's, like the students we all are now, and I had a Happy Meal. My gawd, I was so happy! The ride back was even more bonkers than before and Tanaka and I, well, we were crazy and metaphorically planned our lives with two bearded men. One of them was eating his girlfriend's face, but hey, it could work out. I want to say loads more but it's one of those things when you have to be there and this is going on a lot, plus, there's pictures, so enjoy! Oh, we also sung Drunk in Love and other diva-ish songs. Standard really.



Toodles :)