Ignore the onion smell, it's me - I've been chopping onions, and not only do they make me weep buckets, they also make my hands smell. Oh, what joy! But that's what lemons are for, right?!
So today was my 'lazy day' and I think every human being should have one of these. I know folk seem to think that because it is summer, one must be lazing around a lot, but truthfully, I haven't had many days where I've worn my house clothes and just chilled watching Come Dine With Me, without having to write reviews, or go to work etc. Therefore, I think it'll be fair if I show you all how to have a lazy day, especially as it's hot. You all deserve a lazy day. If not, then, potatoes. Mashed potatoes. With gravy. Mmm, gravy. Didn't Ed in Ed, Edd n Eddy like gravy? Blast from ze past!
How To Laze It Out:
1. Wear your pajamas ~ And if you don't have any (gawsh, do you sleep naked?!) wear house clothes, which from my knowledge is sweatpants and an old top. Basically, what folk wear at the gym, or excising, or female folk on their period. Yes, I did just say period. If you're on it, then a lazy day will be totally great right about now.
2. Make a weird sandwich ~ Not a sexual one, unless that is you're idea of a lazy day.. But you know when you're having a lazy day when you make a sandwich you don't normally go for. Take me, for instance. For some weird reason, I had the sudden urge for a Crunchie sandwich. It was weird, and tasted nice (it's just bread and a chocolate bar after all). So yeah, go crazy!
3. Watch excessive amounts of cooking shows ~ Come Dine With Me, Bake Offs, Man Vs Food, The Supersizers Eat etc etc - anything that involves heating up and some form of food sexual innuendo, you go for it!
4. Watch excessive amounts of home shows ~ Homes Under The Hammer, Escape To The Country etc etc - basically, watch BBC1/2 all day. Also, watch Bargain Hunt; cracking show.
5. Befriend the animals ~ If you have any pets, totally hang with them; I mean, this is usually their time and you're kinda gate crashing it... And if you don't, got any teddies? Totally hang with them.
6. Take advantage of the social networks ~ You might as well go on Facebook a million times in ten minutes; like things you've never liked before; heck, maybe even talk to that guy you've never spoken to, but kinda want to since you can't remember why you added him. Or go on Twitter and just tweet how it's your day and use some bull shittles hashtag that means nothing, like #blessed #love etc etc. Or take a selfie of you and your lazy day.
7. Nap ~ I'm surprised you haven't already to be perfectly honest..
8. Make a playlist ~ Seriously, it takes a lot of time and effort; but it's rather fun. It's the only time that the likes of Watsky and Nice Peter will be beside the Arctic Monkeys in harmonious bliss.. Imagine if that actually happened though..
9. NAP ~ YOU WON'T GET A CHANCE LIKE THIS AGAIN, JUST TAKE A GOD DAMN NAP. Or not, your day and all..
10. Pizza ~ Pizza makes the world go round.. Especially barbecue chicken. Omnomnom.
And that's how to laze it out. I''m actually surprised that I've not napped yet. Is it too late now? Nah, it's never to late to nap #blessed