Thursday, 31 July 2014

How To Laze It Out

Hey, Schneckens!
Ignore the onion smell, it's me - I've been chopping onions, and not only do they make me weep buckets, they also make my hands smell. Oh, what joy! But that's what lemons are for, right?!

So today was my 'lazy day' and I think every human being should have one of these. I know folk seem to think that because it is summer, one must be lazing around a lot, but truthfully, I haven't had many days where I've worn my house clothes and just chilled watching Come Dine With Me, without having to write reviews, or go to work etc. Therefore, I think it'll be fair if I show you all how to have a lazy day, especially as it's hot. You all deserve a lazy day. If not, then, potatoes. Mashed potatoes. With gravy. Mmm, gravy. Didn't Ed in Ed, Edd n Eddy like gravy? Blast from ze past!

How To Laze It Out:

1. Wear your pajamas ~ And if you don't have any (gawsh, do you sleep naked?!) wear house clothes, which from my knowledge is sweatpants and an old top. Basically, what folk wear at the gym, or excising, or female folk on their period. Yes, I did just say period. If you're on it, then a lazy day will be totally great right about now.

2. Make a weird sandwich ~ Not a sexual one, unless that is you're idea of a lazy day.. But you know when you're having a lazy day when you make a sandwich you don't normally go for. Take me, for instance. For some weird reason, I had the sudden urge for a Crunchie sandwich. It was weird, and tasted nice (it's just bread and a chocolate bar after all). So yeah, go crazy!

3. Watch excessive amounts of cooking shows ~ Come Dine With Me, Bake Offs, Man Vs Food, The Supersizers Eat etc etc - anything that involves heating up and some form of food sexual innuendo, you go for it!

4. Watch excessive amounts of home shows ~ Homes Under The Hammer, Escape To The Country etc etc - basically, watch BBC1/2 all day. Also, watch Bargain Hunt; cracking show.

5. Befriend the animals ~ If you have any pets, totally hang with them; I mean, this is usually their time and you're kinda gate crashing it... And if you don't, got any teddies? Totally hang with them.

6. Take advantage of the social networks ~ You might as well go on Facebook a million times in ten minutes; like things you've never liked before; heck, maybe even talk to that guy you've never spoken to, but kinda want to since you can't remember why you added him. Or go on Twitter and just tweet how it's your day and use some bull shittles hashtag that means nothing, like #blessed #love etc etc. Or take a selfie of you and your lazy day.

7. Nap ~ I'm surprised you haven't already to be perfectly honest..

8. Make a playlist ~ Seriously, it takes a lot of time and effort; but it's rather fun. It's the only time that the likes of Watsky and Nice Peter will be beside the Arctic Monkeys in harmonious bliss.. Imagine if that actually happened though..


10. Pizza ~ Pizza makes the world go round.. Especially barbecue chicken. Omnomnom.

And that's how to laze it out. I''m actually surprised that I've not napped yet. Is it too late now? Nah, it's never to late to nap #blessed

Toodles :)

Wednesday, 30 July 2014


I have a key, Schneckens!
And no, not a metaphorical one - I have a legit key so I can get outside of my house without borrowing someone else's. Finaaaaally. Now I can purchase quark without raising suspicion.

Yes, I have a key and this is the basis of my post today. This is a bit of a weird thing to conclude, isn't it? I mean, you've clicked on this because it gave the impression of breasts, and now I'm talking about keys... Are you sure this isn't a metaphor?! Well, be the judge at the end. Basically, I had to go to the shop (Timpson), in order to cut a key, which is rather difficult for me since I hate social situations. Anyhow, officially, we know I do this since I've stated; but here's the biggie. Well, biggies. No, that was not a breast reference. I think. Firstly, a random guy totally walked in front of me (a tad frustrating!), but then he checked me out! That has never happened before! Actually, it has - but I've known the guys - this guy was a total Eastern European stranger, and I'll doubt we're ever see each other again. Secondly, whilst getting the key cut, I exchanged in chitchat with the man doing it (what are they called?) and that was a huge accomplishment for me! So that was a successful journey!

I guess you'll wondering why this is such a big deal for me. Well, since I am rather small in height (yes, I am way below the average, but above the height to be technically considered a dwarf - I guess I'm the average small?) I'm so used to being called cute and such. Don't get me wrong, being called cute is well, cute (what a terrible sentence...), but sometimes, the cuteness replaces the sexual side of things and since I am a woman in her sexual prime...I can be a bit of a hindrance. Not that I'm saying I'm looking to get laid by loads of male folk, but the little things of talking to a guy. For me, I feel really self conscious because of my height as I don't want them to be instantly dismissed as an underage teenager as from first glance, I appear as such. Although, if you actually properly look at me, it's clear that I'm not - I mean, the breasts, the ass, the way I carry myself is quite adult.

Nonetheless, I suppose being openly checked out in public is a huge compliment for me because it means that I'm shaking off that young cute look and I am being viewed in a sexual way. I know some of you hate being checked out by guys because it seems like you're being objectified. But for me, it's a compliment - I mean, if they're there, and the guy isn't crossing any lines, it's fine. This is kinda like my Miley Cyrus moment; she just wants to show she's growing up, and this is the same for me. I'm getting older now, I am growing in confidence and dressing in that way now. I don't dress inappropriately, but my dresses have certainly flaunted what my mama gave me. So the moral of the story is that yes, I am cute, but I'm also sexy, just like every other woman in this world, and that should be appreciated.

Maybe that key was a metaphor..

Toodles :)

Tuesday, 29 July 2014

The Problem With Diabetes

Hey, Schneckens!
I went on a magical walk today. Well, it wasn't magical, but it was a walk and man, my feet are killing me! Initially I went out to deliver The Fault In Our Stars for someone, and I thought I might as well enjoy what's around me. I discovered a lot; I mean, I found out that there's a viking store on Wood Street. That's just mind blowing. I would've taken a photo, but a woman was standing in front, and I didn't want to look like a creep taking random photos of random strangers, then put it on a blog. I'm not that weird.

To be honest with you, I have no idea what to blog about as at this current moment, I am having a hypo. Yes, diabetes problems. So I'm going to take a quick break and return with something! It'll be a surprise for everyone!

Okay, I am still feeling pretty groggy, so I will do a blog post dedicated to this issue. Diabetes doesn't need to take over your life, but boy, does it interfere with things! Take today for instance - I was going on my walk, and I started to feel low. It can be quite frustrating knowing that you soon need to stop and take something to give you that energy boost. It is extremely annoying when you forget said energy tablets, and you have to endure the constant draining feeling until you get to your destination. In the end, I had to get a bus home because I was just exhausted. I know, I know, it's my responsibility to prepare for things like this, but it's quite a responsibility to have, and I guess sometimes it can be overwhelming. I mean, it would be nice to go to a shop without checking if I have something in case I get low; other folk don't, and I guess I want that too.

Another problem is suited to this hot weather and that is injection sites. Basically, diabetics, you'll get this - we have bruises on our bodies, so wearing certain clothes is incredibly difficult for us. All I've ever wanted to do is wear a bikini, especially now after realising I have amazing curves; but I can't, because I have more bruises than a heroin addict! Insulin is really important, and there's no point complaining too much, but sometimes, a woman just wants to wear a bikini without people looking at her, assuming she's some junkie, or abused victim. I'm just a diabetic - I'm like you, but with a shoddy pancreas. That's another thing - injecting in public wearing certain clothes. You will have to pull things up, or pull things down, and it is extremely uncomfortable. I turned down a date because I didn't want to endure the awkwardness of it all. Seriously, this is so frustrating, and for someone who loves clothes, trying to find an outfit that will allow me to effortlessly stick a needle in my body, without causing too much attention.

And don't even get me started on people looking at you as you inject in public! I really should consider charging people for this show!

So, that's all I have. Well, I have way more, but like I said, girl having a hypo right now - need to sort that out! Plus, I'm cooking... That should be interesting. See you tomorrow!

Toodles :)

Monday, 28 July 2014

Music Mondays [InterRail Adventures]

Hello, Schneckens!
No, I am not going on any adventures, involving a railway or anything like that. Sadly. Although, in a year's time, I will be going to Norway, hopefully, so that's something to look forward to! But the whole inter-rail adventures is a little tribute to someone special to me and is taking this summer to explore Europe (and then Kenya); so he shall be absent from my life. But I should be getting a gift, so it'll all be worth it. Another gift is the gift of music, so let's Monday, shall we?!

John Fullbright
Song I listened to: Happy:
The bluesy-folk vocals are absouletly mind blowing and take you to your own unique place. The lyrics are so heart warming, that when you hear those vocals, and then the whistling, it feels so special that you never want the moment to end. It truly is a beautiful song that makes me feel happy!

Jazz Mino
Song I listened to: Being With You Is Better:
Oh, the ukulele was just so sublime! Her voice was also a wonderful combination with the sweet sounds emitted from her string instrument; and with the delightful and endearing lyrics, the song is an instant success! Stunning!

Song I listened to: Misunderstood:
The fresh beats and the sick bars are killer! Rap and I are two odd combinations, but this song is pretty fly. His flow seems almost effortless, and it is clear that he has a lot of passion, and is destined for good things if he continues with his hard work!

Song I listened to: Awakened By Sirens:
The instruments - the guitar and drums, completely enchant you as you listen throughout. It's such a dark song, and whilst many may not like metal, the compelling vocals are bound to entice you. A pleasant surprise that I quite enjoyed!

Scott McWatt
Song I listened to: 99 Problems [Acoustic Cover]:
I have never heard a cover like this before, and it is certainly one of a kind! I actually prefer this version because it is so different from the original. Even though this is an old video, I am sure that his talented as continued to bloom over the years; this guy has an amazing voice and musical ability - he'll do wonderfully!

Woody Pitney
Song I listened to: You Can Stay:
You can hear his stunning Australian accent as he sings his heart out on this track. A song like this is universal and can relate to anyone; allowing myself to connect emotionally to this song. I really loved the uplifting beat, especially as the song's lyrics discuss one's need for one to stay. Truly moving!

Song I listened to: MaRLo ft Chloe - Free:
Her enchanting vocals really take centre place in this phenomenal track. Amongst the heavy, electronic beats, it is easy to lose your voice, but her divine tones stand on their own. Truly remarkable, and her voice is heavenly!

Song I listened to: Roxy [Demo]:
Even though this is only a demo, it is pretty good, nonetheless! This band was a pleasure to listen to: with their divine lyrics, splendid instruments and wonderful vocals. These words sound so old fashioned, but maybe it's because they have a touch of the retro era, and certainly remind me of the early 90s music! Excellent!

Song I listened to: Miracle:
It started so mysterious, and I loved the intensity as the song progressed. I am always a huge fan of alternative rock, and hearing this was a highlight of my day. The lyrics, instruments, vocals and the feeling that was created was amazing. This is a band more people need to listen to because they are one of the best!

Straight Red
Song I listened to: Out To Dry:
Now these guys are a hit with me! I love the uniqueness in their vocals, and the instruments are pretty sick! They have a vibe to them that makes me insanely happy, and this song can brighten anyone's day. This is a truly talented band and I very much enjoyed listening to them!

Okay, that's perhaps the longest Music Monday I've done in a while. I guess I need a distraction...from both him leaving and the fact I am locked INSIDE my house. For goodness sake! Anyway, see you next week for the next list - you bring the music!

Toodles :)

Sunday, 27 July 2014

3 Reasons Why Friends Is Timeless

It is Sunday, and what a Sunday it has been. I mean, nothing happened, but it was hot and I watched Friends. I've been watching a lot of them recently; I guess after I got over the guy, the show stopped reminding me of him and now I can watch it. Success! Although, the show also reminds me of another special guy, but he hasn't been assigned a character, so it's fine - no harm for me!

Anyway, I have to go out soon, so here's why Friends will forever be timeless...

3 Reasons Why Friends Is Timeless:

1. Comedy ~ The show was intended to be a comedy, and man, what a comedy it is! There are moments of pure comedic values that never fail to make us laugh. Whether it is the episode where Joey uses his thesaurus, or Emma's birthday cake, or Ross' fake tan, we keep laughing and laughing, until the cows come home. That would be a moo point, and that means nothing, according to Joey.

2. The Characters ~ The show teaches us so many life lessons that are important. We learn the value of friendship, happiness, love, stability, money etc etc. The characters all serve as a lesson for all of us, whether it be Rachel and her journey from a spoiled daddy's girl to a successful fashion worker and mother, or Chandler's journey from being afraid of commitment to being a doting husband to Monica and father to the twins. The show has a special place in our hearts because we all relate to at least one of the characters in one special way!

3. The Feels ~ Despite the fact it is a comedy, the show has perhaps some of the most heart wrenching moments and tear jerking moments ever. Who didn't shed a tear when Phoebe had to say goodbye to the triplets, or when Monica and Chandler found out that they wouldn't be able to conceive a child naturally? Heck, who didn't cry at that last episode?! The show touches you in a special place because you relate to the characters, and when they experience pain - you do, too!

Okay, so that was an incredibly late post. Have a nice day! See you tomorrow!

Toodles :)

Saturday, 26 July 2014

Little Things

I'm hot, Schneckens.
And no, not in an egotistical way where I dramatically announce I am of sexual appeal to folk. I literally mean in the sense that it is hot and I am really feeling it.

Today my folks returned from their holiday, which ultimately meant that I lost the power over the house. As much as I'm glad they are home safely, I really miss having the house to myself, or close enough to myself. Since they've got back, they have demanded numerous beverages, to go shopping and moaned at the heat; despite the fact they have been away to a hot country. WTF?! See, you might be thinking 'seriously, you're getting all pissy over things you should you for your parents? You terrible, terrible daughter!' No. I am pissed because they have just waltzed their way back in here and demanded things as if they are the freakin' monarchy. The excuse 'jet lag' is also a poor line. Anyway, my father has just made me his version of a Manhattan (using my Amaretto from a very memorable, but secretive night!), so all is good. For now. And we are going out for dinner soon, so that should please me. Unless they start moaning. Again.

So what has pissed me off today? Nearly everything, to be completely honest. This weather really gets to me and I have found the littlest things so frustrating. For instance, I felt blind rage over some guy constantly liking pictures on Facebook because his significant other was in it. Gawsh, that annoys the shittles over me when it's not hot, so imagine the fury when I am - I mean, we get it, she's yours, you like her, blah blah blah! Stop liking everything she's in, and you, stop liking everything he's in; this public display of affection is annoying. My local park has also pissed me off today because it was just rammed with people. There was a huge line just to get into the park, and I got in without a breeze, and seriously, there wasn't anything exciting happening there. In fact, my friend and I kept getting stopped to be asked if we wanted Jesus in our lives. Firstly, Jesus is in our lives, and secondly, we're not going to give you our numbers, so get the hell away. I really wish my friend would learn the art of declining and walking away straight away; it's incredibly annoying standing there as a guy tries to get her information for some weird messed up reasons that is clearly not religious.

It's too hot for this; I'm going to get some ice.

Toodles :)

Friday, 25 July 2014

Pitch Perfect

Sup, my little Schneckens!
I almost called you all 'home-wreckers'.. Perhaps listening to Marina and the Diamonds before blogging wasn't the wisest idea. Meh, sorry, not sorry. It's Friday and my reign over this household is coming to its end, therefore, one needs to celebrate. By celebrate, I mean pizza, syrniki and chocolate. I was going to consider some alcoholic beverages, but I think my liver deserves a nice rest tonight.

Anyway, last night, myself and a bunch of other folk attended the Hackney Picturehouse for a screening of 'Pitch Perfect' (which I unknowingly watched last week..) This event was organised by Industry Insiders, which is "A group of young people aged 15-18, learning about the film industry, as well as programming and marketing films" (source: their official Facebook) They prepared this whole event in which we could watch the film, as well as enjoy an array of mocktails and free food (by free food, I mean sweets, such as Skittles and M&Ms, so they're entitled S&M. I liked that - not the actual S&M, but - ah, forget it!) So that was quite nice, and since it was dubbed as a Post Exam Party, I quite enjoyed it. I mean, who doesn't enjoy movies? Well, except for Beca Mitchell in Pitch Perfect...

Praise & Co
Source: Industry Insiders' Facebook
Apart from the actual movie, we were treated to some musical treats. First it was my dear friend, Tanaka Makoni, who performed a version of 'Summertime', which was incredibly endearing and powerful. Plus, she was the first one to perform, so kudos for that! There was also an acoustic performance of TLC's 'No Scrubs', from Praise & Co, which I found incredibly enjoyable. There was a good chemistry, good harmonies and the rap was just superb! But for me the highlight of the performances had to be from Alex and Lamont - Alex you might remember from a certain Music Monday! They performed an acoustic cover of Sam Smith's 'Stay With Me', which left me speechless - in the good way, obvs. At the moment, one is going through a bittersweet experience and their performance really hit me in a place I didn't think was possible. I don't want to ramble on too much about how I'm feeling, but their beautiful vocals, harmonies and the added guitar really made me feel emotional, and it was a pleasure to listen to! It was also fun meeting one of the artists I had previously put in the blog - Alex seems like a lovely person, as well as talented!

Alex and Lamont
Source: Industry Insiders' Facebook
The actual movie itself was pretty good - although, at times, it felt incredibly cliché, which I couldn't work out if it was being ironic or not. In the film, the leading character, Beca Mitchell claimed she doesn't like movies because the endings bore her as they are cliché and predictable - something that this film was guilty of. Nonetheless, I enjoyed it; it was fun, hilarious and there were some lessons in there - like, don't eat a heavy meal before performing, or you will most likely throw up! Plus, the line "I'm gonna finish him like a cheesecake!" was just epic. So whilst moments were a tad cliché and I was constantly reminded of what an idiot I was (seriously, a lot of things going on right now!), that's not all bad; sometimes we need that in our lives!

So that was my evening; which was topped off with a quiz - apparently the answer 'LA shiz with John Mayer' is not an appropriate answer. Meh. Still won the Oreo though, so winning. Whilst I was covered in glitter, so it looked like I was at the strip club, it was a fun evening, so thanks to Tyrell and Ruby for banging on about this event and thanks to Industry Insiders for organising it!






Toodles :)

P.S. Karmaaaaaaaaaa :D *sorry, I had to throw it in there! This has no relation to the post, just throwing it in there!*

Thursday, 24 July 2014

How To Make Syrniki

It's Thursday, Schneckens!
Thursdays are weird days for me. Back in the day, I used to HATE them because it was full of terrible, terrible lessons. But then I started to like Thursday because I started to like my lessons. Yet then Thursday became a day where my love life used to take massive nosedives and I'd get hurt. Although, some Thursdays were full of amazing moments that can never be replaced. In other words, Thursdays are a bittersweet symphony, therefore, I should just embrace it for what it is.

So yes, moving on. Some of you have viewed today's blog post wondering what the hell Syrniki is. Well, it is a Russian style pancake, made out of the amazing quark. It's really is amazing - quark. Therefore, here's how to make it!

How To Make Syrniki:

1. Get the freakin' ingredients ~ Okay, you'll going to need the following: Flour (probably plain), Sugar (Caster for the sweetness), Vanilla (Extract, Sugar - whatever you have, or is available to you), Eggs, a Lemon, Salt, Oil and Quark!

2. Combine stuff ~ Take 2 eggs, 2 tbs sugar, a pinch of salt, the zest of half a lemon (if you want to use the whole of it, add more sugar!) and the vanilla - then combine them all together. It'll look something like this (probably, I don't know):

3. Quark it up ~ Add 500g of quark to the mixture and mix it well. Use a whisk, it saves time.

4. Flour power ~ Once the mixture has been mixed well, add 2 tbs flour to the mixture and keep mixing, using the whisk! If the mixture still looks particularly quarky, add another tbs flour until you're happy with the mixture.

5. Sizzle ~ Get a tbs oil (veg, sunflower - again, whatever's easy for you!) and place it in a frying pan, and put on a medium heat. Just imagine that this is a normal pancake procedure.

6. Dump, Slab ~ When the frying pan is all heated up, get a tbs of the mixture and place it in the frying pan. Add as many of these as you want, depending on the size of the frying pan, and let it sizzle for a minute, or two, then flip. Since they are small, and there are many of them, use a spatula or something!

7. Turn it down ~ Once flipped, turn the medium heat to low, and let it cook for a few minutes. If you want, however, you can keep flipping it to ensure that it's all cooked. It really depends on how they look to you. If they look good enough (like have a golden, or darkish appearance, then they are ready!)

8. Extra additions ~ When the pancakes are cooked, place them onto a plate for serving. Now since these are sweet (not that sweet, mind!), you can have them plain. Yet, it's best to add a sweetener to it, just to up the taste. You can use a honey based substance, or jam - I used a strawberry jam. You can also add sour cream, or something similar if sweets aren't your thing. Again, depends on you, or what you have available.

9. Eat ~ They are better straight from the frying pan and typically better hot. So once you've dished up and added your extras, eat it and enjoy the greatness of quark. You'll be Russian about with this recipe, so start Putin some energy into this and enjoy! *sorry for the bad puns*

10. Repeat ~ You'll probably have more of the mixture left over, so just keep repeating from step 5. You can change the quantities if you want - like, if you want a big one, instead of a small one, go ahead - your kitchen, your Syrniki!

And there you go! That's how to make Syrniki! I thought I'd add a bit of Russia into your kitchens today. Plus, I needed a distraction; it's a bit difficult in my head and heart at the moment - but when isn't it?! Anyway, enjoy your Syrniki!

Toodles :)

Wednesday, 23 July 2014

Beneath The Stars That Shine

Hey, Schneckens!
I often wonder if Horoscopes are onto something, or if it's just a load of horseradish that we choose to believe because it looks ever so glamourous and dreamlike. But then again, maybe that's just a portrayal of my personality; a somewhat unrealistic fantasist who lives in an alarmingly oxymoronic world. Or maybe, just like Frankenstein, I am merely hyperbolic in the way I choose to live, which isn’t entirely surprising given the fact that I am an actress. Yes, I am an actress - folk seem to forget this amongst the blogging and the writing!

But yes, I often stare at the night sky and try to decide if those stars really decide my fate. As an OCD sufferer, a part of me is inclined to believe that whatever I do has a direct response, and I need to be wary about this. Does this include a mere Horoscope, however? A part of me does believe that things, such as palm reading and other supernatural stuff is complete crap (I mean, if I've managed to successfully read one's palm, then that's really saying something!) Yet, why do I keep going back for more? There's like a thrill in reading something about your life, and the idea that the stars are telling you that 'success in the work place is imminent' is a great confidence boost. Truthfully, I compared both the 2012 and 2013 Aries overviews, just to see the difference; and man was there! Although, it does seem completely sickle and I try not to read too much into them.

I guess my little ponder is just a mere reflection of one's fears for the future. As cliché as it may sound, it does seem like I am a tiny little fish in a huge ass pond - and that's not only because I am remarkably small! For years I allowed myself to be suppressed amongst society because I deemed myself to be worthless in comparison. Yet, yesterday, a friend of mine quoted a line from my book, and it touched me in a way that no one could ever touch me (such a suggestive sentence, I know!) This is because it made me realise that I am actually worth something. When I think about that, along with my teacher wanting to use the quote in one of her lessons and how I inspired a friend to write again, it makes me feel like I am doing something right for once. I once said: "There's only one thing I am truly good at, and that one thing is why I was put on this earth: I was made to create something that makes people happy, or provoke some emotion that suits the tone of the product." And it's true.

So yes, I will continue to wonder if the stars are deciding my future, but the future is looking bright; so why question everything?

Toodles :)

Tuesday, 22 July 2014


Hello, Schneckens!
For all you regular readers of the blog, you will know that today is meant to be a 'Types of' Tuesday. Alas, I am far too hot for this and I had quite the busy day, so I was unable to prepare for this. I hope you can forgive me for this; I offer you countless amounts of quark. If you're wondering what quark is, it is a soft cream cheese and is fat free. Ah, quark; 'tis amazing.

Anyway, I had friends over today and it was quite fun. Granted, there were moments when I seemed a tad psychotic - a quiz confirmed I was a bit of a psychopath, but another quiz claimed I was a saucy minx. Do people still use that term? I do... So, I had pizza, the Game of Life, Crunchie bites and quark. What a life, Noel Gallagher sung on his album, and what a life indeed. Quark.

Toodles :)