Monday, 30 June 2014

Music Monday [Augustus Waters]

Schneckens. I'm fine. I'm totally fine. Fiiiiiine.
*weeps hysterically*
Okay, I may be lying right now because I'm not fine. I'm currently reading the popular novel, now turned movie, 'The Fault In Our Stars', and I'm on chapter sixteen and I'm crying buckets already. Heck, I was crying by chapter six! So as you could imagine, I am going through an emotional roller coaster right now, and in need of some great music; so lets go, shall we?

Song I listened to: Never Let You Go:
The enigmatic drone at the start of this song instantly grabs your attention and you feel as if you are in a new dimension. The song is a perfect combination of raw lyrics and powerful instruments; topped off with stunning vocals. Quite frankly, I'm surprised I've not listened before!

Akua Konamah
Song I listened to: Only You:
As those beats kicked in and her enchanting voice hummed over; you knew it was going to be a brilliant song. Lyrically, the song is totally relatable and a moment of appreciation is deserved for this wonderful woman as she captures the beauty of love and heartache.

Tanya Donelly
Song I listened to: Snow Goose And Me:
I love the free and uplifting vibe that this song emits. It's one of those songs that is divine as it is not over produced. You find that modern music is full of tricks and gimmicks, but this song is stripped back and you fall in love with the beauty of the lyrics and vocals, instead of an overbearing beat. Wonderful!

Siren Call
Song I listened to: Just A Man:
Those riffs and the drums instantly get you rocking! And not in a cliché kind of way. It is a pleasure to hear such a passionate band, with killer lyrics, and especially during a time where rock seems to be taking a back seat in modern music. Incredibly refreshing!

The Y Axes
Song I listened to: Green To Gold:
The sound is so refreshing and summery, but not too summery, if that makes sense! I guess what I'm trying to say is that this song puts an instant smile on your face, and since I just read The Fault In Our Stars (yes, just finished it, folks!); I REALLY needed this song. Sublime!

Josh Doyle
Song I listened to: Everyone's Alone:
If there was a song that made me feel teary after such an emotional roller coaster of reading TFIOS, it was this. Whilst I should be searching for something that doesn't make me weep, I cannot simply ignore the beauty that can only be expressed through a song like this. I feel connected to this song, and it is comforting me during a very difficult experience. This song is my 'An Imperial Affliction' today, and it is beautiful!

I have to end this here, folks. I am WAY TOO EMOTIONAL. I hope that's okay? Whilst the list may be short, there is enough beauty and talent that is sure to fill you with pure delight and happiness. So see you next week, you bring the music!

Toodles :)

Sunday, 29 June 2014

Meet Me Halfway

Hey, Schneckens!
So, you'd thought I'd totally slack after a double yesterday, didn't you? Well, I did, kinda. I had a nap. I really need to start going to bed earlier, or start drinking coffee. Either way, energy is needed, and fast.

Well, in case it has slipped your mind, we are halfway through the year. Crazy, I know! Time is flying quicker than a 'stooping' peregrine and there is nothing we can do about that. I decided to stop and acknowledge this alarming piece of information because it reminds you about the importance of what you are doing with your lives. This isn't going to be one of those posts when I'm like 'we need to live like we're dying' because that is just a load of BS that everyone says. Truthfully, and I said this to someone the other day, we have won in the metaphorical lottery in life. Yes, we might not have everything we want, or desire, but the fact we have made it through another day, and are remembered, and loved, by people is a beautiful thing.

Sometimes in our lives we have moments when we freeze and panic over what we have actually achieved, and I think I had that this year so far. As any person, I hear about all these remarkable people, who are winning awards and being recognised and I'm just that little Tsarina, sitting in her jeggings, watching cooking shows. But when I actually think about it, and I did yesterday, I have done a LOT this year so far. Firstly, there is my book, 'No Soul To Sell', which is perhaps the most beautiful thing I have written so far, as it allowed me to capture a particular feeling throughout; I would argue and say that this book is 'a coming of age' book, and that makes me feel all warm inside. You see, real achievements aren't necessarily what you create, it's what you feel, and growing up to become a better person. I really have continued to grow, and I am proud of what I am so far, and excited to see what I am. I mean, I am now a rapping, knitting, 18 cardigan owning, baking, writing, acting, blogging Tsarina. That's something that I achieved in a mere six months, or developed along the process.

Sure, I have weaknesses. I think my main weakness is from the opposite gender. Damn you, males, and your delightfully enticing necks! Granted, I've had a thaaang for necks for a long time now, but it's like they've worked it out and are tempting me with it. But again, this shows I am achieving things because I have not given in...yet. I'm a human, more precisely, a female; eventually a man, with a neck sent from the Gods, will stand dripping wet from the downpour and I won't be able to resist it. I really hope it's a Russian. Fingers crossed. So, yes. What was I talking about? Men, yes! Sure, whilst some have got me more giddier than a duck on Wednesdays, others have been remarkable friends and it's this year in which I have embraced the importance of male and female friendships, than a senseless romance. See, I'm learning a lot in these six months!

"Can we talk now, it's been six months? Please remove these iron cuffs!" - Sorry, once I was slightly intoxicated, and I wrote a rap. It was a good rap. If I'm ever hammered enough, I'll totally perform it. To the person. Lawl.

So, here's to the months we have shared together, and here is to the next!

January 1st
June 29th

Toodles :)

Saturday, 28 June 2014

10 Ways NOT To Get Over Your Romantic Interest

I'm back, Schneckens!
I had that nap, and have gone on a Nine Inch Nails' binge. Lyrically, their songs are just amazing; so much depth. But anyway, I thought I'd start with that bit of information. That, and, I love you, I guess? I don't do love. No, wait. I don't do surprises. Hehe. An Australian singer, Axle Whitehead, sung that and got his dick out on stage. Lawls. Well, let's continue this double post!

10 Ways NOT To Get Over Your Romantic Interest:

1. Rebounds ~ For goodness sake, don't go jumping into bed with another person; or make out with someone; or anything on those lines. You are evidently still hurting, and that is natural. Therefore, don't try and force something that is not there and will just hurt you further.

2. Getting hammered ~ Alcohol doesn't make you feel better. You may feel momentarily blissful from your problems, but then they come flooding back in; with an added hangover.

3. ...That means drugs too ~ Avoid any substances as a means of numbing this heartache. The drugs don't work. Yes, I quoted The Verve; it's such a powerful song. So, don't take drugs!

4. Isolating yourself from the outside world ~ Staying indoors, weeping, may be the best choice in the movies, but come on! We're not in a movie; get out there and feel the breeze penetrate your skin. Okay, I have no idea why I used such a sensual line. Damn you, Frankenstein!

5. Pushing your loved ones away ~ You need those nearest and dearest to you, by your side, during such a hard time. Laughter will make it all seem better, and your friends can totally do this.

6. Cutting out all contact with the person ~ Haha, in the ideal world, this would be totally simple. In reality, it's impossible, so instead of cutting out all contact, just reduce it. It won't drive you completely crazy.

7. Changing yourself ~ Just because they didn't want you, doesn't mean you need to change. You are special and unique, and if they can't see that, then their problem. Never change for the wrong reasons!

8. Seriously, getting hammered ~ Step away from the whiskey! Or vodka...

9. Ignore any problems ~ You don't need to lie and pretend nothing has happened. It really is okay to admit you're hurt by this. You'll feel better by talking to someone you trust, and they can totally support you through this pain.

10. Doing something crazy ~ I don't know how to define 'crazy' because it differs for every individual. For some, it's jumping into bed with anyone who pays you the wrong kind of attention, for others it is drowning their sorrows. Either way, it doesn't solve anything, and it just adds to your problems.

So, that's me for the day. I bet you're surprised I actually did the double. I really want a nap though. Should I? Decisions...

Toodles :)

10 Ways To Get Over Your Romantic Interest

I feel pretty ill today, so bare with me as I type these words. There may be moments when I pause to regain my composure. I think I've worked out why I am feeling sick all the time - wait, this sounds like I'm about to announce the bun in my oven :o I SWEAR I am NOT pregnant! I worked out why I'm ill though, and it's something I could technically avoid, but for some reason, I haven't yet. But hey, life is full of mistakes, and whilst I made a mistake last night, I also made one of the best decisions ever; so the good always wins!

Now onto today. It will be a double, and it will be about Romantic Interests. Initially, I planned for it to be solely crushes since that was the 'Types of Tuesday', but it seemed to similar to an ex, so I thought I should combine the two, and BOOM, you got yourself a Romantic Interest! Let's begin, shall we?!

10 Ways To Get Over Your Romantic Interest:

1. Strong support network ~ Get your friends around you, ASAP! You are going to need a lot of comforting, tough love and acceptance. It's always hard when romance goes wrong and your close friends can make the process a lot more easier!

2. Hobbies ~ Yes, get a freakin' hobby! You will find moments when you kept dwelling on everything that has happened. So instead of that, take up something fun and rewarding; and you never know, you might meet someone who will make you feel worthwhile again!

3. Food ~ Don't go crazy, though. In Rom-Coms, women are always eating those big ass tubs of ice-cream after a failed romance, and whilst it's not as fun as it is in the movies, or common; it can be a great release and can ease your tensions. Men can do it, too. We all know that you chaps have that side to you that you won't openly express with us!

4. Removing anything that reminds you of them ~ Whilst it can be incredibly hard to do it, you have to remember that it is over now, and keeping everything is just hindering the process in getting over them. Sometimes we gotta rip of that plaster and it will hurt, but it's just something that has to be done.

5. ...Including Social Networks ~ Unfollow them on Twitter, unfriend them on Facebook etc etc. The less things there are to look at, the less likely you are to be tempted and make a rash, and often stupid, decision.

6. Delete old messages ~ Kinda like the last two. When going through heartache, we tend to look at old messages to remind us of what we once had, but it's not really benefiting us. The relationship may be over, but a friendship can still be there, but having those 'lovey' texts can be a painful reminder.

7. Pamper yourself ~ These are moments to treat yourself and make you feel worthy again. Go get your hair done; go buy some new clothes; do your nails. And yes, men, that can be you, too! Or do what you chaps tend to do; I don't know..

8. Get out there ~ Don't spend your life inside, weeping over the bitter heartbreak you have endured. Go for a walk, get some fresh air and appreciate what you have, and what you can now gain.

9. Avoid places they'll probably be at ~ You probably know their timetable and routine better than them, so it might be best to avoid those places at the meantime, just to give yourself time to adapt to this new change in your life.

10. Love yourself ~ Now is the time to put yourself first. You are truly the most remarkable person that you need at this point; so instead of hating yourself, and knocking yourself, appreciate who you are and love you for you!

Soooo.. I'm going to eat something (hopefully not puke it up) and then take a nap! I'll be back later; I wonder if you can guess what I am going to post about. I'll give you a hint, it's not my upset stomach!

Toodles :)

Friday, 27 June 2014

Risqué Business

Hey, Schneckens!
Initially I planned for a glorious double post, but I went shopping today and as a stereotypical woman (well, at points) I got distracted and totally ran out of time for a double. So instead of a saucy double session with me, you get one that will blow your mind and make you come back for more.

I should warn you, there may be some saucy talk in this post; blame the weather, I guess? Moving on, I had to go shopping for beauty products to make sure I look super damn amazing for my prom next week. I'm not one to give a crap about make-up, hair, dresses and that kinda shiz, but I'm starting to notice a change in me. I actually want to look good for this shindig, but I don't know why. Actually, that's a lie; I know exactly why. But yes, I bought make-up, but nothing ridiculous - I'm sticking to a natural look that is also summery. Then I saw Mog, and for anyone who doesn't who Mog is, you make me weep.

So as the day progressed, my dearest Mom, Ruby McGuire, helped me fix my dress. My dress is rather nice, and the wedges are pretty, too. But there was one flaw. My cleavage was dangerously on display. I know some folk like that kinda thing, but this was so dangerously on display that even covering then with my hair couldn't prevent an accident. Yes, I may have wonderful assets (not coming from me, folks), but come on, I need to stay classy; so let's keep them under wraps for the night.

And that was my day. Tomorrow we'll discuss role play. Not really.

Toodles :)

Thursday, 26 June 2014

Interviews + Anxiety

Hey, Schneckens!
A very quick post today because I am completely exhausted from my interview/assessment. It's been a long, tiring day, and I haven't got the energy to do a big fancy blog post. I'm sorry, double post tomorrow, perhaps?

But here are my 3 tips in tackling those pre-interview nerves:
1. Take deep, refreshing and calming breaths.
2. Listen to some music that will relax you.
3. Focus on what you HAVE to do (i.e. what you will say), instead of trying to predict what might happen.

Okay, as obvious as it may be, sometimes we forget this during anxious moments. Also, watch/listen to this; it'll make you smile:

See you tomorrow, refreshed and awake!

Toodles :)

Wednesday, 25 June 2014


Hello, Schneckens!
Today I had a panic attack. Doctors, counsellors and just general health care professionals claim that it takes one little thing to trigger one of these. But we, the one experiencing it, knows that it's not as simple as that because we sat up all night thinking about all these anxieties; we got sick over it; we became trapped by it.

Anxiety is like being in a bare, white room, with no contact from the outside world; except for one person who gives us information. The information we are given is what we choose to believe because we have no other way of questioning it as we locked away from the truth. We're not able to pinpoint what is real, and what isn't, because the information we are given is just that; nothing more and nothing less. That absurd idea terrifies us because we feel like we're isolated from the rest of the world and that we are doomed to spend the rest of our lives unable to form relationships with others and to form our own factual decisions.

I sat on a bench today, in the faint breeze, and just watched everyone that went past me, or people around my centre of attention. I saw an array of different people: of different races; ages; genders; height; size, yet they all had the same thing in common - I will never know their stories. Why was the woman looking after her kids alone since she had no wedding ring? Is she alone? Who's that woman texting on her phone so she's not paying attention to her surroundings? Her boyfriend? Her girlfriend? Her mum? Her friend? How long has that couple, holding hands, been together? Have they been together for years? Or have they just got together? You see, asking the questions is the easy bit; it's getting the answer that's hard. Being amongst people who are going through their daily lives, with their own unique problems, in a way grounds you because just like them, you have your own problems that they will never know. The reality is you don't want to know because when you take a moment for yourself, you are able to decide what you want to know, to get the facts and you search for what is real instead of what is given to you.

Am I disgrace to women because I allowed a man to pursue me for the sole purpose for him to have his wicked way with me? Am I bad friend because I felt smug over the attention I was getting? Am I horrible daughter because I lie to my parents about what's really going on in my life? Am I a terrible sister because I don't reply to her texts as much as I should? Am I weak failure because I had a panic attack today after a year without one? No. Just like them, I am human. I'm not above, or below anyone else. Who here has ever told a lie and regretted it instantly? Who here has ever kissed someone, hooked up with someone they knew they shouldn't have? Who here has fallen for someone who didn't fall for them back? Who here has ever wished they said something sooner, or wished they never said anything at all? Who here has ever taken something to mask the internal pain inside? But who here has never felt fear?

We are all the same when you strip it all back. We all experience the same things in our lives, just at different times and with different scenarios. I said this morning that 'the human existence that we call life is weird.' It is. But we like weird. We thrive off things that are unconventional. We enjoy basking in other's misfortunes because it makes us feel better, but really, we're the same as someone is doing it to another and the cycle continues. When life hands you a lemon, you're expected to make lemonade, but what if you don't like lemonade? Do we just take the information that we're given and live with that or do we make something else - something we know is right for us?

So, yes. I had a panic attack today. But with that moment of despair, I grew. I knew I needed help and that I am no different to any other person because we breathe the same air and we feel the same human emotions. The moment you step back and look around you start to realise that, and you no longer feel isolated and you can find the answers that you want to know; not what you're given.

Toodles :)

Tuesday, 24 June 2014

Types of Crushes

Heyyy, Schneckens!
The extra 'y' is to signify that this post is going to be about attraction and stuff! Or that my 'y' button got stuck - you decide! Yes, after a long period of really liking this guy, I have reached the end of it and now I have put him to bed not the greatest of terms. It's true though! I am over him, and that feels weird. I actually sent him a copy of my book today, which is about him and I am TERRIFIED. It's scary sending it out to anyone, let alone the guy it's about. Sheeeeit. So in dedication to this, let's see what kinda crushes we will eventually fall for!

Types of Crushes:

The Cutie Patootie ~ That person who makes your heart melt and eyes flutter as you gaze upon their sheer cuteness. Sometimes you embrace this too much and call them such a phrase, other times you just look at them and describe them 'as someone to take home for dinner at your parents'

The Taboo ~ Liking them is wrong and goes against everything you stand for, but man, what you wouldn't do to take that body to a cornfield.

The Baddie ~ Like above, liking them is wrong, but you live off the danger. It pisses of everyone and you know that it'll end badly, but you need that rush more than a drug addict needs a shot of heroin.

The 'Do I Reaaaaally Like Him/Her?' ~ You spend a while trying to decide if there are actual feelings for this individual and you start taking those quizzes, asking folk, just to confirm if it is true or not.

The Diamond In The Rough ~ Initially, you hate this motherfurker, but as you get to know them, you realise there is something there. Then you have your first dream, and boom, you're hooked, unlike the bra you wish he is unhooking. Oooooh!

The Inner Lana Del Rey ~ You want someone to channel those vibes so that crush must make you feel dark and deep feelings that no one can live up to. Until the next one, of course..

The Candy Crush ~ Not just the game! This crush is incredibly addictive and you keep going back for more because you have no soul to sell (which is the title of my book, out July 7th!)

The 'Just A Crush' ~ It will be nothing more than just that, and you no it. Dammit.

The No Chance ~ You guys live on polar spectrums in this world and the chances of you two working is non-existent. Their fun to look at though.

The Hottie ~ Literally, they are just someone who find attractive and that is it. They can be burning in front of you, and you will just say 'he/she is scorching hot' and walk off to your next crush.

Aaaaand finally, The One Who Can Be More ~ You're just crushing at first, and they're crushing too. Now you folk are together. Smug bastards.

Okay, I'm off now. I don't know if these are at all relevant in your lives, but it's just a bit of harmless fun. Who knows, maybe I'll do a part II one day..

Toodles :)

Monday, 23 June 2014

Music Monday [Black Beauty]

Hey, Schneckens!
This weather seems a tad hot, or is it just me? I mean, not hot enough for me to take off all my clothes, but hot enough for me to moan about it. This weather is only acceptable when you get to see hot men walking around topless, and since I find the Russian menfolk the hottest, I won't be seeing a lot of that then. Le sigh. I'm also listening to Lana Del Rey, which explains the title. Let's Monday, shall we?

The Marquettes
Song I listened to: Friend I Never Had:
I didn't know what to expect from this band, but when the music kicked in, I felt like I had woken up and that I had found a metaphorical missing piece. There isn't enough of bands like this one, but this is a perfect advantage as they are in a league of their own, and I am completely honoured to get to listen to such a beautiful song! Sublime!

Segun Oluwadele
Song I listened to: Outside The Lines:
The lyrics feel completely natural and can totally relate to anyone from the very offset. It has a sick beat to it, and the energy emitted from this song is completely natural and is effortless. A great summer song that can still be enjoyed during any season!

W3 The Future
Song I listened to: Falling From The Sky:
As the song gets into its element, everything comes into action and it is a brilliant contemporary song that many people will find interesting. It catches your attention through its sick beats and flawless flow; something that seems natural for these guys!

Song I listened to: My Type:
The song is exactly the type of song that is on point this time of year; it has a vibrant summery feel to it that is insanely addictive! It feels like summer summed up in one song, and it will instantly brighten anyone's mood, even if the weather might have a sudden change!

Song I listened to: Be This Way:
There is a good vibe to this song that is a total pleasure to listen to. The vocals and divine instruments are completely on point and it is surely a sign for good things to come from this band!

Ward Thomas
Song I listened to: The Good And The Right:
Country music always gets the party started, and this song will do exactly that! The sheer power in these women's vocals is completely endearing and it something that is a privilege to listen to. I can't stop listening to this song, I am certainly hooked and there is no other way for me to express that!

And that's my Monday, hope you enjoy yours with these new additions! See you next week; you bring the music!

Toodles :)

Sunday, 22 June 2014

Imaginary Music Videos

Hello, Schneckens!
Aaaaand I am back on my own laptop and I have my picture of inspiration cheering me on as I write my words, and perhaps giving a push for the Russians. Obviously I'm watching the Belgium vs. Russia match right now, and obviously I am team Russia. But since I know nothing about football, and Russia's tactics seem to be a bit simple (strange coming from them!), this picture might be needed...

So, I was listening to Ultraviolence again today, and my goodness, it gets darker every time you listen to it! Now, I don't think I'm alone in this as when I discussed it with my friends, they too said they do this - you know when you listen to a song, and then you imagine your own little music video, or story, in your head? Probably strikes a resemblance in your head and I'm sure it is completely common among any keen music lover. 

However, I sometimes think that my thoughts get a tad darker than what is typically seen as normal, but then again, maybe I just have a vivid imagination given the subjects I am passionate about. As I was listening to 'Money Power Glory', I somehow related it to a fictional moment in my life - okay, that makes no sense, let me try to explain. Have you ever had a moment in your life, say an argument, and you imagine different scenarios that are typically worse because it's more dramatic and it goes with the music? Okay, now hopefully you get what I'm saying. Anyhow, I was listening to this song and I had my usual thought, and it got quite dark. Without going into too much detail, I had a row with a friend over something trivial and I took a bunch of pills, senselessly diddled some guy in the bathroom, then made my way outside and saw the my object of affection with his affectionate object; so I collapsed in complete heart break as they got on the bus. This seems like a beautiful, powerful story, but the fact it is my imagination is quite startling as I technically took an overdose in that thought and carelessly put my life at risk. I don't think this is too concerning, as I have a wild imagination and I read, listen to and watch a lot of dark stuff, so it probably was just a way to capture a feeling into a song, but still. If I, or anyone else, had these thoughts without the music as the inspiration behind it, would it be okay?

Toodles :)

Saturday, 21 June 2014

Lemon Cheesecake

So, it is Saturday, my dear Schneckens! Hope it's been a good one!

Today will be a quickie because I am out tonight, work related stuff. So I am actually typing this little bit on someone else's laptop. Crazy, huh! I had a delightful day. Firstly, my reviews for The Upcoming are on the social networks, so you should totally check them out! Just type 'The Upcoming' and it should come up. Secondly, I had a dinner, well, lunch, party with a nun. This nun is obviously a family friend and wasn't just a weird meeting up with the congregation for the sake of it. It was actually fun. I made a lemon cheesecake for the occasion. Everyone that knows me will know that I love lemon based desserts, so this was a success - especially compared to that tiramisu.

Now I need to skedaddle. But do you know what will make this post even better? Well, apart from some lovely cheesecake related photos. A bit of Paolo Nutini loving. He's on tour at the moment, and I checked out some of his tour videos, and it was amazing. I wish I could be there. Paolo is a man of many talents and he works any stage like I can work a whisk when making a cheesecake. Paolo can be my cheesecake. Whiskey flavoured..

Work attire, obvs.

Toodles :)

Friday, 20 June 2014


Hey, Schneckens!
Happy Friday; hope it is going well as you approach your weekend. Rejoice, tis time to sit back and relax. Unless of course you're England supporters desperately clinging onto the hope you guys still have a shot.

Anyway, moving on quicker than England's efforts in the World Cup, I want to discuss impressions with you. Not like comedy impressions, although that would be pretty cool. I'm talking about the impressions we give off to other people. The other night, I was talking to some guy and he seemed to think I was something that I didn't necessarily think I had portrayed to other people. During the conversation, I perhaps gave a certain impression because I became quite loose and careless in what I was saying, but I didn't think I had shown these traits in real life. I know occasionally I can say the odd shocking comment (well, shocking if you don't know what I'm capable of), but I never thought that people viewed me in a certain light. I guess we make impressions on people that we didn't even know..

But I can't exactly moan, can I? I know what I'm doing sometimes, and I know what people will think; so I continue doing it. Plus, I've kinda made my mind up about people following the impressions they continue to give; sometimes it is cemented through actions that just confirm what they are like. Actually, I haven't been moaning. I don't think I've once moaned about this. I was a tad spooked, but wasn't doesn't spook me. Hehe. Spook. Spoooook. Sorry, it's been a long day and I hate very little sleep. Been kinda nervous about these job interviews and such. Oh, and I made a lemon cheesecake today. This time I was sober, so it should work. How did I get onto this? This tends to happen - you trail off and start discussing something involving some form of gooey liquid type thing. I should go. It's pizza night. Plus, I have the Game of Life to play. Winning.

Toodles :)

Thursday, 19 June 2014

24 Problems England Supporters Know [And Hate]

Heeeey, Schneckens!
It looks like it might rain today and I'm dripping wet from the downpour. When I say 'downpour', I mean the shower. I like showers; never sung in it though - I feel like I've missed out on something. Today is also the England vs. Uruguay game, and I don't watch football, nor do I enjoy it; but I do notice a bunch of problems that England supporters experience. All are funny, to be honest. Well, if you don't care. Anyway, let's go!

24 Problems England Supporters Know [And Hate]:

1. The big expectations at the start ~ I understand that everyone hypes up their countries, but come on, why do we have every world cup these ridiculous expectations that England could possibly win the World Cup? Yes, they are a good team - but are they the best? No. So spare the heartache, and lower the expectations a bucket load.

2. Pubs ~ Supporters tend to watch matches in pubs, and if you've never been in one during World Cup season, don't! It is full of rowdy folk who smell like cheap beer and sweat, swearing profoundly at the television that can barely be seen because everyone is blocking it. Just stay at home...

3. ...Television Bargaining ~ In homes, everyone faces this so-called dilemma. Who's going to get the main TV? The main TV is usually the big, HD one that everyone prefers to enjoy the show with. Whilst you think that England's matches would get it, you'd be wrong - I'm not finishing my movie without seeing the ending just so you can get all pissy about how shit England are playing!

4. WAGs ~ Seriously, why is this even a thing?! Ooooh, look, a woman married, or dating, a footballer - how extraordinary and news worthy! Seriously? Get over it.

5. Times of matches ~ Probably most relevant now given the time difference in Brazil, but a lot of England supporters moan because the matches are on later than they would like.

6. Rooney ~ I'm going to take a stab in the dark and guess that a lot of supporters get pissy about Rooney for whatever reason that he produces. I can't comment since I don't watch, but picking up from my social media, he tends to bug a lot of folk.

7. Flag hate ~ This is for any team, actually. Why do some folk get upset about someone proudly showcasing their pride through a flag? It's not causing any harm, so the hate is totally uncalled for.

8. Commentators ~ There's been a lot of backlash to this years' commentators, and whilst I think this petty, I guess it can be a huge pain the the ass if you have a poor commentator during the actual match itself.

9. The physio getting hurt ~ Seriously - WTF?! As much as it is funny, I hope he wasn't hurt that much.. But man, that is hilarious, nonetheless!

10. Getting dirt on your football shirt ~ You can't wash it because it's bad luck to... Is it just my household that's like this? Furk.

11. Expectations gradually decreasing ~ It's starting to become apparent that England is not a top notch team compared to others and more than likely to get knocked out soon. Sorry, not sorry.

12. Odd shoes ~ Still don't know why this is a thing..

13. Food prices ~ Now is the time when restaurants and food places cash in on World Cup fever and overprice anything that sounds remotely like it is English/English team related.

14. World Cup songs ~ Every time the World Cup comes along, we get a shiz load of songs that are so tacky, so cheap and so annoying that it's all we hear. It's annoying. SO DAMN ANNOYING. I can't even rank them from worst to best because they are all so terrible.

15. Adverts ~ It's like companies think that because it's World Cup season that they should just throw that into adverts and it just doesn't work; it's irrating and if I didn't want your product then, I'm certainly not going to want it now.

16. Fake football fans ~ Those folk who have never watched a single game in their life, and are only doing it to jump on the bandwagon. It's pretty easy to spot them - ask them something football related, and they will struggle to answer it just like England struggle with penalties. Oooh, I went there!


18. Hangovers ~ From drinking too much, obviously - from at the pub, parties if that's your thing and the common drowning one's sorrows.

19. Bidding to host the World Cup ~ There's always a big load of hoopla for this, and they never succeed; then they moan and get moaning until the next bid comes along. Then the cycle repeats itself.

20. The actual matches itself ~ So tense that you can literally cut the air with the bluntest knife in the world, mainly because you have to hide the sharp knifes for the inevitable defeat. (Note: this is NOT speaking from experience; my family are sane thank you very much!)

21. Pint prices ~ How much for a pint?! You see, loads of folk probably haven't been to a pub in years, so discovering how much things cost is a shock to the system.

22. Extra time ~ Oh gawd, the tension is increasing. The heart is racing so much that you feel like you might keel over at any moment.

23. Penalties ~ Hahahahaha. England are terrible at this, and everyone knows that, so when it comes to this moment, everyone is clinging onto anything near them; praying and just general bargaining that England will win this.

Aaaaaaand finally, 24. Losing ~ That sad crushing of the dream. Le sigh. There's always next time, guys!

Sooo.. What do you think? Have I hit the metaphorical nail on the head, or have I flopped like England taking penalties. I'm sorry, I'll stop with the penalties jokes. So, good luck today, England, you are certainly going to need it!

Toodles :)

Wednesday, 18 June 2014


Sup, Schneckens!
I went out today, ate a sausage roll and had a cat nap. I like cat naps. I'm tired for some reason, probably because I was up late watching the Russia game. I seriously need to start going to bed at a decent time. But until then, let's see what I like about this month.


1. Tom Jones ~ In my vivid imagination, we met at a key bowl party and made a baby, whilst I left my hat on. I had a son, and I've not seen that bastard since the night he was made; but my husband, well ex, is seeing him on Friday. Dicks.

2. Ultraviolence ~ As yesterday's post highlighted, I really like the album for its sheer captivating intensity and darkness.

3. Paolo Nutini (Again!) ~ Yes, he was the top dog in April and he still is to this very moment! I really needed him during a tough and stressful couple of weeks, and his music still continues to pleasure my eardrums and funk my life up!

4. World Cup 2014 ~ I don't like football, in fact, I hate it; but I guess I like seeing people's passion for the sport and their country. It's rather endearing, don't you think?

5. Tiramisu ~ Hahaha, even though the outcome was hilarious, it still tasted pretty amazing and the added banana confused everyone!

6. Father ~ It was Father's Day this month, and despite the fact it was his day, he helped a great deal with my meal; and his comment that "it was one of his favourite meals" made my life! My father is hella fly!

7. New Look ~ I love this shop more than any other, and I bought my prom outfit from here, and ultimately, the shop both makes me look good, and feel good.

8. Wedges ~ The shoe and potato kind. I bought some and they make me look slightly taller, and I made some paprika ones for Father's Day. Double win.

9. YoMuscleBoii ~ I featured his friend last month, and this month, this guy deserves his own moment. He is hella funny; more funny than a lot of other YouTubers, and he's hot, which makes it even better!

10. Freedom ~ EXAMS ARE OVER!! Although it feels a tad strange, I do enjoy the fact I don't have to feel guilty about watching a movie in the afternoon instead of revising. I do feel like a duck out of water though, and I do miss the Drama class.

11. Music Throwbacks ~ For some reason, I had 'Whole Again' by Atomic Kitten in my head, and I listened to it, and man, it was a great moment. Listening to the lyrics properly as an older person made the song seem so much more different. It kinda relates, instead of being a cheesy pop song. But we do like cheese!

12. Percy Ingle ~ I had never bought anything from there before, but today I bought a sausage roll. It may have tasted like butter, but sometimes that is something we need. It was pretty amazing.

13. Russia ~ Okay, I LOVE Russia anyway, but this month really was the Russia month. Apart from it being the centre point of my exams, Zoella got me a Russian postcard and a Russian exercise book (No one else got anything!) Plus, it was Russia Day on the 12th, which was the day of my last exam - Drama, which incorporated Russia. Oh, the feels!

14. Charity Shops ~ Not thrift shops. I found the Game of Life in my local charity shop, and I got there super early just to buy it. I was so happy that I sounded like an excited little girl when I thanked him for selling it to me.

15. First Aid Kit ~ They are a Swedish folk duo, and I had the pleasure in reviewing their album, 'Stay Gold'. It was certainly good, indeed.

16. Channel 4 Comedy Gala ~ Who doesn't like comedy raising money for a good cause? I found it incredibly funny, with standouts being Kevin Bridges and Josh Widdicombe - I am still laughing about their act to this very day!

17. Home and Away ~ I stopped watching this for a while because it became too Braxton orientated, and was full of all these new characters. Even though nothing has changed, watching it reminded me of the old days when I was a super fan; and I enjoyed watching it again!

Aaaaaand finally, 18. Epic Text Between Mother And Daughter ~ This just makes me laugh because I went through a similar situation - the heartbreak, and I try and imagine my mother telling me this; which would be the most epic thing to ever happen! But thank the Lord it didn't!

When you need relationship advice.

So that's my June, nothing too fancy. Hope the rest is fun, and I'll see you next month for the next list. I'm sure it'll be weird.

Toodles :)

Tuesday, 17 June 2014

3 Reasons Why Ultraviolence Is Amazing

Hello, Schneckens!
Today will be brief because I'm going out tonight for some work related things. Fun times. Yesterday I purchased Lana Del Rey's 'Ultraviolence' and it was actually amazing; seriously amazing! So in the spirit of the new album, here are 3 reasons why it is in fact amazing. Yes, only 3. It's best to be on point and precise with this, just like she did with her album. Plus, I need to get out of here pretty soon!

3 Reasons Why Ultraviolence Is Amazing:

1. The Lyrics ~ Lana is known her her deep, meaningful lyrics and Ultraviolence certainly proves why she is one of the best song-writers of this generation. Even if she had help along the way, it shouldn't take away the beauty of each individual lyric in each song on the album. From the opening track: Cruel World, the listener is taken to another world, and despite living in a total parallel world to Lana, we connect to each lyric as if it was a moment in our lives.
      Example: "I shared my body and my mind with you, That's all over now, I did what I had to do, I found another anyhow."

2. The Beat ~ It sounds almost cinematic as every song progresses; it is a step closer to heaven. With these dark, intense instrumentals, it completely compliments Lana's equally dark lyrics, which ultimately makes every song a pleasure to listen to. Lana's lyrics may be a force to be beckoned with, but no one can knock the production that goes along with it. Sublime.
      Example: Listen to Ultraviolence and West Coast to see what I am talking about.

3. The Story ~ From the opening track to the final moment in the whole album, Lana tells a story that seems so dark, so fragile and so wonderfully intense. She pours her soul out in the most coolest of ways, and her work seems like a piece of literature; and she carries each song with such grace that it is like she is the room retelling every moment in her life. What makes it more special is the fact that the themes in her songs are totally universal, so whilst we lose ourselves in Lana's story, we diverge into our own, and we realise that there are some similarities in the way we live our lives.
      Example: "Loving you was really hard, We could go back to Woodstock, Where they don't know who we are. Heaven is on earth, I will do anything for you, babe."

Okay, well I'm off for now. If you haven't already, check out Lana Del Rey's Ultraviolence. It really is a masterpiece.

Toodles )

Monday, 16 June 2014

Music Monday [Game of Life]

Hello, Schneckens!
I got up super early today (well, kinda) to buy the wonderful 'Game of Life'. For anyone who has never heard of this brilliant, brilliant game, it is a game in which you go through life stages and the player who makes the most money wins. It's like life, but life isn't as simple as that. I can't wait to play it with everyone I know; it truly is a great time. So until that moment, let's check out some music, shall we?

Of Eyes That See
Song I listened to: Breathe Again:
The rock vibe was electrifying and truly gripped me from the off-set! I found the song a perfect mixture of lyrics, vocals and instruments that when combined created a truly remarkable song that will allow any listener to rock out!

Song I listened to: Crying Sally:
The song takes you back to the good ol' days and it is perhaps the most sensual song I have heard in a while. The jazz is hugely addictive and I think anyone will enjoy this song; the instruments are like a galaxy bar - silky and smooth.

Song I listened to: Do It All Again:
The song is so smooth that it genuinely makes a good listen every time. Her vocals are so gentle that it compliments the sick beat perfectly. Plus, the lyrics seem universal for anyone, and there is a Ariana Grande 'Problem' vibe to it; making it insanely catchy!

Celeste Kellogg
Song I listened to: Rain:
The first thing I said when I heard this was 'this is beautiful', and it truly was. Her haunting, beautiful vocals was like heaven in my ears as the soft piano played alongside her. This song is needed in everyone's life, and I can honestly say that it is one of the most sublime songs I have listened to. Especially when it livens up over mid way - a huge surprise for everyone. Wonderful!

Chase Allan
Song I listened to: See Amazing:
I love country music and this song reminded me why country music rocks! The song was feel good and will certainly get you up and dancing because it is incredibly catchy and addictive!

Stage Republic
Song I listened to: Falling Angel:
The lyrics and vocals are so haunting that you are enchanted by the sheer beauty that is emitted from this song. A life lesson is taught from this song and I think that the writer was a genius because it is open to interpretation that one can effortlessly apply to their lives. Perfect!

Grace Garland
Song I listened to: Lovers Never Lie (In Bed):
This song is so sexy and sensual that it is perfect! The beauty of her jazzy, soulful vocals makes the song a pleasure to listen to and her vocals makes the song brilliant. This truly is a song to capture a spark in a relationship again!

Morning Robots
Song I listened to: Out Of The Blue:
This song is unique; the beat has a combination of rock, but has psychedelic moments. I love it though because of this. It reminds me of Oasis in the 90s, well, actually the 90s in general. Pretty good!

Monks of Mellonwah
Song I listened to: Ghost Stories:
I love the vibe that this band gives off! The instruments are truly wonderful and I love the rocky vibe to it, which goes perfectly with the vocals. What makes it more special is the lyrics; it truly creates an image in one's head and it is brilliant because of this!

Henry Albert
Song I listened to: I Got You:
The beat is hella sick, and his vocals compliments this perfectly. I may not know a lot about rap but I know good music; and this is certainly an example of good music. There is a natural flow to Henry that can only be described as 'effortless'. Truly wonderful!

Okay, that's my music this Monday. You know the score, I'll see you next week for some new music discoveries that I stumble across like a drunken gazelle. I'll see you next week - you bring the music!

Toodles :)

Sunday, 15 June 2014

Happy Father's Day!

Hey, Schneckens!
I made dinner tonight and it was a success! I made peri peri chicken, with paprika wedges and my famous salad. It was truly divine. Later we're going to have the tiramisu, which I made drunk. I just remembered I put a banana in there for some weird reasons. For gawd's sake!

All my efforts were of course for my father. He enjoyed the meal, so it was a success; he said it was one of his favourites and he rarely compliments dishes. Seriously, my father never willingly compliments things so I will forever treasure those words. It's been a pleasant day - I got him a bottle of whiskey, and some moisturiser because men love that shiz as much as women do. Ah, it's been a good day so far; we even watched Bargain Hunt. He's even cheery following England's defeat last night. Awks. More awks because I correctly predicted the score. Double awks.

I've learnt a lot from my father. He's the man who taught me how to cook, bake, sew and he played rounders with me as a young 'un. Sure, he can be a pain sometimes and he can get easily annoyed and angry, but I love him nonetheless. Father is a gentle soul once you get to know him, and I'm sure it can't be easy having two hormonal daughters. I mean, even I can't put up with me! Father truly cares for us, and even though he doesn't always show it in the most obvious ways, we know he means well. Fathers will always be protective over their little daughters, well, mine at least. I know that this day, like Mother's day, paves a lot of unwanted feelings, but it's day to remember and celebrate those Father figures in our lives; present or in the skies.

So Father, I love you. I guess.

Toodles :)

Saturday, 14 June 2014

100 Doubled

Firstly, happy Saturday, and I hope you're all having a grand day - some of you are watching the World Cup and I hope your team is victorious.

Today is my 200th post, and it is certainly something to celebrate as I never thought I would keep this up for so long, or that people would actually read this. It feels weird knowing that I have been viewed in so many countries, and that I am known as a blogger. So weird. It's weirder than a cow forgetting how to moo. Wait, what? I don't know...Mooving on..

I have no idea how I can possibly celebrate this momentous blog post; it was easier for the 100th because I had Drama that day. Now I'm finished and I feel like a bit like a duck out of water because I don't know what to do with my free time. I am celebrating though, in a way. I'm making a tiramisu in a while, and my prom dress and shoes came today! I would show you, but let's wait till the day because I want it to be a surprise for everyone. I don't wear a lot of dresses, and this is perhaps my nicest dress. Plus, I've grown. A tad.

But what about now? Well, I'm going to upload this blog and feel pretty darn proud of what I have achieved so far. I also want to make a few thanks, because there is no way I could've got this far without the support of you all. Firstly, to my Twitbud, Anna, thanks for the constant support with Music Monday; your lists have kept me in business every week. Also, thanks to the Rubys because you've all worked with me, albeit, some more than the other, but nonetheless, thanks. Huge thanks to all the artists featured in Music Monday; I seriously love hearing your stuff. Plus, all the charities and support sites; helping with Anxiety, Trichotillomania, OCD and Diabetes - I am proud that I could help you all in a little way through this blog.

Okay, emotional thanks over. This is my last thing to say: You all are amazing people, and sometimes we fail to realise that in our chaotic lives. Sometimes we become increasingly frustrated, sad, angry, annoyed etc, and it can have a huge impact in our lives. That's what this blog is for; to brighten your day in some way. Yes, I can ramble a bit, and I moan, but I want you to know that you are never alone and whatever life throws at us, I'll be here, he'll be there, she'll be there, we'll all be there. When life hands you a lemon make lemon drizzle cake; cake solves everything!

Toodles :)

Gonna funk my kitchen up
My Drunk Kitchen!

I'd tiramisu you...
Jasper's back, guuuys!