Friday, 28 February 2014

Frisky February: A Reflection

Heeeeeeey, Schneckens! I am cold. Cold, I say. Today was a weird day. We discussed alcohol, and I'm certain that the point of the talk was to be more responsible regarding drinking, but now I just want to try a bunch of new alcoholic beverages. I also made doodles of Russian folk. I reeeeeally like Russia - the history. The place? Erm, not so much. I think that's the main thing of today, that, and I had 'Suck it and See' stuck in my head. Cracking song.


So, another month as past, and what have I learnt this month? ... Men are dicks. Jokes. Well, they are, but that wasn't the groundbreaking discovery of this month. I guess this month tested what I could handle, and what were my weaknesses. Some moments were a challenge, but I've overcome them all. I'm finally on the right path of moving on from this guy; I confidently carried out a presentation on Stalin's Russia and I had a pizza party. Sure, moments were hard, but it's how we handle them that matters.

Music has been huge this month. I've returned to my Arctic Monkey albums and listened to them all again after Alex Turner's amazing speech at the BRIT awards. I love hearing the progression in his voice, just as much as I like watching the progression of his hair. Gaawd, he went through a lot of styles. I also became Kylie this month. After buying a cheap album of hers, I've embraced my inner Kylie and been doing the Locomotion non stop. It's been a blast. Do people still say blast? I don't know... As for my blog, you've all gone crazy over 'Music Monday' - the response has been HUGE. I am extremely flattered by the number of responses, and to anyone who wants to feature in it, just send me a tweet, or something, and I'll include you!

It was also Camp Takota month, and it lived up to it's great expectations. I loved it. It was a fun film to watch, that somehow made me a tad emotional - damn you, Valentines' Day! I could say loads about this film, but it's best I leave it with just thing: fly. Fly like meeting Jude Law, Rudolph Walker and seeing Kate Middleton. I also passed all my mocks, yes, even History! The Cold War has been a huge surprise - did not think I would enjoy it so much. I really hope the fun can continue, just like in all my other subjects - got to work on that A for Drama! Henry V and Lysistrata is a cracking combo. Even Macbeth isn't that bad.

What do I expect from March? I don't know! It's best not to make assumptions because it only leads to disappointment. Trust me, I found this out the hard way. I'm really pleased that people have been reading this blog, and if you're a regular reader - thaaanks! You're my schnecken, and if you're new - hi! You want some banana bread? I lurrve banana bread. Hint. Hint.

See you next month!

Toodles :)

Thursday, 27 February 2014

How To Present For A Live Audience

SCHNECKENS - I'm sleepy. I need a nap. So I'm gonna be quick today.
I discussed Eminem with a teacher today. Weird day.
I also presented my work on Stalin's Russia today, and it was so amazing! So proud of what I did, and I am so grateful that everything went well. People really enjoyed it and said I was a good presenter. So here's some ways to present for a live audience.

How To Present For A Live Audience:

1. Take Your Time ~ Don't feel as if you need to rush it. Sure, it's kinda daunting, but just enjoy it - it's your time to shine and showcase your talents.

2. Relate To Your Audience ~ Don't isolate yourself with them - if you experienced things that seem quite universal, share it: if they feel as if you get them, they're most likely enjoy it.

3. Comedy ~ Believe it, or not, but comedy really helps ease you and the audience. Some people are a bit skeptical about this, especially if it's a serious subject, but it's easy to get sucked into a depressive mode. Try to make something light out of a dark situation; it'll make everyone feel more ease and enjoy it more.

4. Don't Come Across Too Strong ~ You lead this project - if you're too strong (like throwing information at them), they'll feel uncomfortable and won't enjoy it.

5. Relaaaaaax ~ Frankie says relax, so you should. If you relax, everyone else will.

Bit short today, I know. Sorry. I am exhausted. Hope you all have a lovely day, and i'll see you tomorrow!

Toodles :)

Wednesday, 26 February 2014

Types of Students

Sorry I'm late, Schneckens! Here's 2 Alex Turner gifs to make up for it!
I hadn't eaten lunch today, so I was rather tired and out of it for a few hours. It's my fault - I should've been more careful.

So...I haven't done anything interesting today. Nor the past few days! What the heck?! I'm having a good time, but I don't seem to be doing anything of interest; except for making Alex Turner fantasies. Aww, 'MayMay!' Sorry, I've been giddy for a while - Alex Turner is just a fine specimen of a man. I'd take him to a cornfield. Moving on, 'Zoella' asked me about the teaching styles in her lessons today, and although I can't quite remember what anyone said, I do know that she asked about student leading lessons, rather than teachers - which I think is a fine idea! Inspired from this, here's types of students that I come across in my lessons!

Types of Students:

The Hard Worker ~ "Working hard, or hardly working?" - I've always wanted to use that in a conversation, but it's never come up. Anyway, this student works harder than the whole class put together, and you know that success isn't just guaranteed with them - it's deserved!

The Try Hard ~ They want to replicate the hard work of 'The Hard Worker', but want to out do them. Therefore, they exceed what is expected from them, and although it's good to be ahead and actually do the work, there is such a thing as doing too much. There's no good in doing all the work before a lesson, over wise, what can you do?

The Underachiever ~ The teacher knows they have potential, and deep down they do too. No one knows why they're not reaching their potential, but everyone wants them to do it.

The Lazy One ~ They don't do homework, they don't do classwork, they do NOTHING. How did they get this far - luck? magic? elves?! No one knows, but for furk's sake, WHAT ARE YOU DOING?! DO THE DAMN WORK!

The Piss Taker ~ The same as 'The Lazy One', but doesn't even bother coming to lessons.

The User ~ They will use you for your work, and that is it. Whether you give into them is your own problem, but yeah, they're using you for your intelligence...or because you just blagged the work, and don't really care if they copy you.

The Asshole ~ There's something about this student who makes you want to punch them in the face because they seem too big for their boots. They gotta come down a peg, or two, because the fall will be more painful.

The Quiet One ~ What did they say?

The Loud One ~ SHUT THE FURK UP!

The One Who Releases Bodily Noises ~ Really? There's a time and a place, and this is not it.

The Latecomer ~ Truth be told, I'm surprised they actually turned up since they're that late. It's like they don't have a sense of time, those reckless pigeons.

The Smutty One ~ They're see the flaw in 'The Latecomer'.

The Class Clown ~ Scarily funny; as in a bit of a creep and you're laughing outta fear.

The Class Jester ~ We're definitely laughing at you because you're a bit of an idiot.

The Class Comedian ~ Yeah, you're funny...most of the time.

The Unexpectedly Wild One ~ Where did you come from, you sexy little swine. Sorry, Arctic Monkeys again..

The One Who You Want To Hug and Take Away Their Pain ~ They seem so overly stressed, that you just want to stop the world, give them a Kit-Kat and tell them to sleep in peace.

The Class Friend ~ They're help you with the work, or anything like that, and although you don't speak outside the lesson, you know they got your back in the lesson.

The Cheery One ~ Even on a Monday morning; they're still cheerful. Dayum, son!

The Ones Your Teacher Tries To Set Up/Thinks You're Going Out ~ A.W.K.W.A.R.D. Awwwwwwks. Furking hell. If this has ever happened to you, it is so unbelievably awkward because you can't quickly dismiss them because it looks rude to the other person, and you can't be hesitant because it looks like you're hiding something. Eek.

The Modest One ~ They won't big up their grades - half the time they think they've failed. Confidence, folks. You need to start believing in yourself.

The Eater ~ They have more food than a corner shop..

Aaaaand finally, The 'Kooky' One ~ They're so furking weird, but lessons would be somewhat boring without them.

I didn't even include the whole list, but I'll say that for a Part 2, cos I'm fly like that. One day I'll even consider a Types of Teachers - that would be fuuuuuun! So, what one are you? And remember, if all else fails, spot the satire!

Toodles :)

Tuesday, 25 February 2014

Launching People UK

Hello, Schneckens!

I almost called you all my 'Sexy Little Swines'... Awks. I'm sorry - I've been listening to Arctic Monkeys all day, and my friends and I decided to create a fantasy life for Alex Turner. Basically, he has a daughter called 'Maisie', and he is a doting father; despite his rock star image. D'aww! As cliché as it may be, I don't care - you know it would be cute. Just imagine him waiting at the school gates, leather jacket over his shoulder, looking all serious, then as soon as his daughter comes running to him, he turns into this loving father. I have more little fantasies like this, but it will wreck your ovaries, so best not..

So, apart from that, what did I do today? Work. Got a surprise B in my History, questioned nuts in Drama and discussed a potential water dress for Lady Gaga in English- standard day, essentially. But, my fellow colleague, Tyrell Charles, was eagerly promoting a project called 'Launching People UK', which he is a part of. At first, I didn't quite understand what this was, but essentially, it is a way to:
 "...Bring your burning ambition and brilliant ideas, and [LPUK will] bring the technology you need to create something amazing."
Overall, I think this a wonderful thing to be a part of. As an actress, as well as a writer and blogger, having your ideas showcased to a diverse audience is an incredible opportunity. Also, the prize for this is huge. Huge, I say! More huge than the Berlin Wall, wait, I already used that. Anyway, it is incredible. If Tyrell succeeds with this - by getting 300+ supporters (I'll leave a link at the end), he could work with Luther star, Idris Elba. It is truly an once in a lifetime opportunity, so please help him! I've worked with Tyrell for a number of years now, and I can honestly say that he is one of the most hard working and talented individuals I have met. It would be an immense shame if he didn't get a chance like this to showcase his talents to a wider audience.
Watch Video
Support Tyrell Charles!

So, without dragging this any longer and looking somewhat desperate (I'm a lot of things, but I would to believe that desperate isn't one of them), please do what you can to support Tyrell. We always say that we want to do something with our lives, well, this guy is, and he needs your help (brilliantly timed since I'm listening to Hurts' 'Help'.) All you have to do (as far as I know), is click on this link:

  1. (copied from his Twitter account, so it's correct!)
  2. At the top right hand corner, press "support me", and BOOM, you've just helped a guy reach a step closer to achieving his dreams. Woah, that was somewhat corny and cliché, buuuuuuut...

"Corniness is honesty that’s wrapped in cliché." - See, there's a quote for everything!
More ways to find Tyrell:
More information of the project:
Okay, so please support him, and I'll see you tomorrow!

Toodles :)

Monday, 24 February 2014

Music Monday [New Discoveries]

Sorry, hi! Happy Monday, Schneckens! Hope it was good for you! I had a good day; did loooooads of work. Loads. I managed to do that by avoiding a person - so I didn't see him (woo!) and I finished my work. Kinda. Moving on... Since I spent the day working, not much crazy things happened. Therefore, let's jump straight into your music suggestions. Yes. It's 'Music Monday.'

1. Augustines:
Song I listened to: Nothing To Lose But Your Head:
The beat is feel good, with a rock kinda vibe - two things which instantly make a good song! The lyrics are really inspiring, and for anyone going through a tough time, or needs to make an important decision - listen to this song; really puts things into perspective.

2. The Filthy Souls:
Song I listened to: Cold Hearts:
That guitar! That voice. Those lyrics. Man! Can we just talk about that voice for a minute? With the beat, it is like a heavenly masterpiece. It's that gravelly kinda thing, which gives the song so much depth. I'm in love. I'd so buy their stuff!

3. Sara Jackson-Holman:
Song I listened to: Freight Train:
It is so haunting, yet peaceful at the same time. The piano creates a movie atmosphere. Actually, the whole song feels like a movie. It's rare you find artists that can tell a story so effortlessly, and she does it!

4. Rachel Hillary:
Song I listened to: Forget Me Not:
For an acoustic/live set, it sounds pretty beautiful. There's something ;lovely about this; it kinda makes you want to run through a field, knowing you can achieve anything. Or is that just me?

5. Alex Cambridge:
Song I listened to: The A-Team [Cover]:
I've never been a huge fan of this song...until now! Her cover just oozes sheer grace and beauty. It just feels so natural to her; she tells her own story through a song making it different to other covers. A lovely tone to her voice. A pleasure to listen to. Can't wait for the EP!

6. Jesse Will:
Song I listened to: Indigo:
It feels so genuine and it takes me somewhere that only a few songs can take me. The lyrics complete his voice so perfectly. A beautiful song!

7. The Dig:
Song I listened to: You and I Lost Control:
When I listen to this song, I feel like I'm standing in the rain, feeling the world around me - and if you couldn't tell, that's probably one of the greatest feelings ever - I feel ALIVE. Cool song!

8. Cold Specks:
Song I listened to: Blank Maps:
I never wanted the song to end. She has such a beautiful voice. And the line "I am a God damn believer", well, that really evoked something in me. I am a dreamer, but I'm going to work my ass off to achieve those dreams. Yes, this song, in 3:16mins, managed to create this thought. Wonderful song!

9. BESTiE:
Song I listened to: Pineapple:
They are so feel good that when this song plays, I feel quite good! They're different to anyone else I've listened to. Quite loving them. Plus, I love their name, and the name of this song!

10. The Cradles:
Song I listened to: You Won't Find Anyone Else:
First song that played, and it instantly reminded me of the Beatles. I'd certainly keep listening to these guys because they seem to have great influences, which by the sounds of it, they're going to be amazing! Lovely rock kinda thing going on!

Well, 10 seems like a good number to end on! Hope you enjoyed these music suggestions, and remember, if you have an artist you want to share, go ahead - I'd love to hear them! Mondays were made for music, but the party continues throughout the week!

Toodles :)

Sunday, 23 February 2014

6 Things Alex Turner Taught Me

Hey, Schneckens. Happy Sunday. Yes, my blog post is a tad late in comparison to other days, but silly old me left a good chunk of my work to the last minute! And I was watching Alex Turner/Arctic Monkey videos. So I thought I'd combine these two things, and BOOM, here are 6 things that Alex Turner taught me:

6 Things Alex Turner Taught Me:

1. Wearing sunglasses indoors is acceptable and furk those who judge you ~ Yes, some people may think that you're a total twat for wearing them indoors, but if it makes you feel good, then who cares what others think? You shouldn't be judged because others don't agree - put yourself first, besides, you're not hurting anyone, are you? I remember once that I was at a coffee shop with my Mother, and she had a massive migraine, so she wore her sunglasses indoors, and a little child and her mother was so rude about it - she said to her child "some people are just silly". Yes - YOU are for judging.

2. Puberty is a beautiful thing ~ We all hate those awkward stages when we feel like we're gonna be stuck in the puberty stage forever. We hate the pictures being taken and want the world to swallow us whole as we get our school photos back. But once you get through that stage, the world's your oyster. Just look how far you've come. You're a grown up now! ...shit.

3. You don't have to be the best public speaker to make a compelling speech ~ Alex Turner's Brit Award speech has been a HUGE talking point, and regardless of what you think, he makes such a beautiful point, that the delivery is not important (although it was amazing!) You may not be the loudest, or the greatest public speaker, but don't let that stop you from getting your voice out there. You have a voice - use it - especially if it's for good!

4. This ~

5. You shouldn't be limited because of your accent ~ Alex Turner may have that "American" accent thing going on, but meh, it hasn't stopped him from being who is he. People are very quick to judge a person because of their accent, and that is just horrible. An accent shouldn't define a person, nor should it stop you from being who you want to be. Be proud of what you are, but also remember, it doesn't define you as a person - you're so much more than an accent.

6. You can be attracted to anyone, and it shouldn't matter to anyone else ~ Alex Turner looks like Roddy (the RAT) from Flushed Away, so in theory, it may suggest we also find this rat somewhat attractive. But it shouldn't matter who you fall for. You can't help who you fall in love with. Whether it be man, woman, transgender, white, black, Asian, Hispanic, rich, poor - it shouldn't matter. Love is love. Lust is lust. Whoever you feel this for, just embrace it!

So, yes. That's what I learnt. Maybe this whole post has been somewhat over analysed, but regardless. Long live King Alex Turner!

Toodles :)

Saturday, 22 February 2014

Pizza Party ^_^

Hey. I bet you little schneckens didn't think you'd see me tonight. Well...SURPRISE! It's nearing 11:00pm, and I'm in my living room watching 'Saturday Night Takeaway'.

A small little blog because, as we know, this blog is about sharing my life - the complains, the joys and the just damn right weird. Today's shindig was weird. Weird in the best furking way, of course!! Here's what I learnt:

1. Visitors will assume that a device, for cramps, is a vibrator if you don't tell them. Best moment is when they press the button and express their surprise (?) towards the vibration. Lawl.

2. People can accidentally (I hope!) get Germany and France mixed up.

3. Rice can explode in the microwave...

4. Cucumbers and tomatoes are far more smutty than I initially thought. Okay, that's only half true. But it seemed a lot more smutty tonight. Maybe it's because there were three women in the house.

5. You can't buy Banana Bread bars in Berlin, but you can in Holland and Barrett. Think Nakd bars.

6. Ruby (my Son) can't open chocolate.

7. All three of us (Myself, Ruby and Ruby) love Alex Turner. But who doesn't?

8. We would also forgive a guy cheating on us if they wrote us a song like Chester See did..

9. Catfish has a movie, that you can watch on Monday - for free - here are the details:

10. We all look furking fly in hats.

Aaaaand that's where I'm going to end the blog tonight because it's now 11:11 and I'm going to make a wish. Done. I'm tired. See you tomorrow!

Ruby Sandwich :D
Toodles :)

Types of Friends

Omygaaaawd, I was watching some Buzzfeed videos, and I found this one and it reminded me so much of my "love life", that I sat open mouthed during the whole thing. Here, watch it!

Anyway. Happy Saturday, Schneckens, or as the Russians would say, "счастливы субботу!" The fact I mix German with Russian is odd, even for me..
Moving on, I'm expecting guests over tonight, so we may have a Camp Takota review, we may not, really depends on how committed I am to reviewing this amazing film. So in the spirit of friends, here are the types of friends I know, from real life and television. Spot the satire if all else fails..

Types of Friends:

The Mother Hen ~ Yes, even for guys since the male equivalent for a hen is a cock ... no one should be referred to as 'Father Cock', or 'Father of all Cocks'; it's just wrong. To summarise, it's the friend you go to for every damn piece of advice and you say anything to this person. ANYTHING. You won't be judged.

The Emotionally Unstable ~ Mother Hen's main 'chick(?)' This kinda friend always seems to be going through an emotional crisis, which may or may not be exaggerated.

The 'Slutty' One ~ Every female has a slutty friend, and if you don't, then it's you..

The 'Male Whore' ~ Equivalent to the female above; he lacks the "charm" of the 'player' and is sloppy.

The Flirt ~ Both male and female; they'll flirt with anyone, anywhere, anytime. Well, you get the point. They're harmless, as long as they stay away from couples.

The Secretly Kinky One ~ Every circle of friends have someone who appears to be a good egg to everyone else, but to the friends, they are wild. Not wild in terms of actions, but you know that they'd bring fun to a party if need be. They also know the lyrics to Nine Inch Nails 'Closer'..

The Bohemian ~ So free, so alternative, so doesn't give a fuck..

The Comedian ~ So funny, so punny, so doesn't give a fuck..

The Musician ~ So cool, so diverse, probably will give a fuck if you insult their favourite band...

The Sports Freak ~ Talks about football way too much..

The Anime Freak ~ Talks about anime way too much..

The Drama Queen ~ SO MUCH GOD DAMN DRAMA. I get it, you're needy and desperate for attention, but stop. You're pissing everyone off. Men, you're included in this too. Stop being such melodramatic idiots and get on with it!

The Food Obsessed ~ Either sides of the spectrum: eats too much, or is an extreme dieter. Sometimes you get both these people within your circle of friends, and you'd think that opposites attract and all, but they'd kill each other.

The Couple ~ Okay, this is always awks, especially if you're friends with both. It can turn a bit into 'Ross and Rachel'; especially their early years, if they fight and you have to "choose" a side. You say you won't, but you kinda feel like you have to. Then there's the 'third wheel' - that's shiz is too awks, and I wish I could tell you what to do, but I can't - still haven't worked it out. Soz.

The One You Like ~ 'fess up: have you ever liked a friend? Yes? Welcome to the club! You're now screwed, and you will be probably pick up many characteristics of the other types of friends to deal with this overwhelming feeling. Hahaha, your life will never be the same again! Your friendship is ruined! Heck, there wasn't even a friendship! HA! *cries uncontrollably*

The Hipster ~ Writing blogs before it was cool..

The Fashionista ~ Has more furking amazing outfits than you have hot dinners. Wait, what?

The One Who Has A Job ~ Their ringtone is '9 to 5' just to piss off everyone else.

The One Who Always Has Shindigs At Their House ~ Whether it's to party, to watch shows or what not, everyone's there. Except when relationships are involved; nah, someone else takes that role then.

Aaaaaaand finally, The All Rounder ~ They somehow manage to possess all these characterisitics, sometimes at the same time. Furk.

Well? Which one are you? ^.^ I didn't include nearly every type of friend cos I'm sure there are loads! But that's what Part 2s are for, just ask Jenna Marbles...

Toodles :)

Friday, 21 February 2014

10 Reasons NOT to Physically Stalk Your Ex

Schneckens! I said I would do it, and here I am..
Continuation from the previous post:

Yes, I went to the park and I fed the ducks. It was quite chilly out, so I misjudged the gentle breeze. Nonetheless, it was delightful. I do like ducks!

10 Reasons NOT to Physically Stalk Your Ex:

1. It's furking illegal ~ Probably the most obvious, and important, reason not to stalk your ex is that you are breaking the law. I know you may see it as harmless, and it may be, but in the eyes of the law, it's a criminal offensive, so don't do it; it's really not worth it.

2. How would you feel? ~ You might say, during your inability to get over him/her, that you wouldn't mind if they stalked you, but seriously? Think about it: you would feel incredibly violated, as well as scared, and think that he/she was a weirdo. Don't be hypocrite and consider how it feels.

3. You're just going to get hurt ~ You might find out something you didn't want to know, and although it's better to find these things out sooner or later, it would be nice to find out in a more sensible way.

4. It's not good for your state of mind ~ You are the most important person, and stalking, in this manner, although it can be seen as quite jokey, it is damaging. You're essentially feeding a habit you didn't think you had, and it's showing that you're not coping that well.

5. You CAN, and probably WILL get caught ~ Surely that's a reason. You may get a buzz from doing it, heightened with the risk of getting caught, but it'll get you into a lot of trouble.

6. It will jeopardise a friendship ~ Even though you broke up, you can still be friends! Doing this ruins that trust in a friendship and will forever be a dark cloud in a potential friendship with your ex - and if you want to be in their life, that's gonna hurt!

7. What can you do? ~ I mean, you can follow them to their home, or to their work, or something, but what then? Imagine it as a straight line - you can only get to one place and that's it. Why risk everything for that?

8. It's long and pointless ~ Like his dick.. Okay, that was a joke! Seriously though, you could have gone home or done something productive, but instead you followed him all the way from the bank to gawd knows where! And for what?! To see his behind? To see where he goes on a Wednesday evening? You could just ask that - if you remain friends..

9. You'll be treated differently ~ Someone will find out, whether it's the person you're stalking, or your friend, either way, someone will know. They will not treat you the same; you'd like to think that they'd show concern, but it's not guaranteed. Consider how everyone is impacted by these actions.

10. You're too good for them ~ I said it once, and I'll say it again! you are you, and you are great! You don't need to waste your time on someone who is no longer with you. Be friends if you still wanna be in their life - but remember, you both live two different lives now, and you need to accept, and respect, that.

Okaaay, so that's it.
As much as we do joke about this kinda thing, including my previous post on virtual stalking, it is a serious issue. It's a problem for both people. The stalked feel violated and unsafe, and even if they don't know, it's still crossing the boundaries. As for the stalker, although you don't intend to do anything malicious, or hurtful, and you're just thinking with these powerful emotions, it's not good for your state of mind, and you will get into trouble. You have to accept it's over. What you're doing isn't right, and never will be.

I'll see you schneckens tomorrow! Have a good Friday!
Toodles :)

10 Reasons NOT to Virtually Stalk Your Ex

Hellooo, my Schneckens!
The sun is shining and there's a lovely breeze outside, therefore, I'm probably going to go to the park and feed the ducks. Ahh, bliss.

Anyhoo, one needs to do her blog post first, and keeping in the spirit of this lovely weather, here's 10 reasons not to virtually stalk your ex - you know, like Facebook and that kinda thing. So read this, then exit their Facebook page, go out and enjoy the outside (if it's sunny), or read a book.

10 Reasons NOT to Virtually Stalk Your Ex:

1. You're going to find something you didn't want to know ~ For instance, you might find out they have a new partner, married, engaged, having babies and all that jazz; whilst you're doing what? - Going on their Facebook page multiple times a day...

2. It's going to evoke some emotion in you ~ By which I mean; sadness, anger or jealously. These are all terrible things to feel that will just wear you down, making you feel furking crappy. Don't put yourself through it!

3. You'll feel it...again ~ That warm, butterfly, tingly feeling inside of you that only they can give you. Even if you're a guy, I'm sure you get that same buzz. So why would you want to feel it again, knowing that you can't do anything with it? Exactly..

4. You have a furking life ~ It's over! It ended for a reason. They are not your life anymore; nor were they ever your life - they were part of it, but not life itself. Get off the Twitter, and do something that's actually worth doing. And I don't mean that in the smutty way..

5. They're probably not doing the same about you ~ And if they were, does that make what you're doing any better? I know you want to stay involved in their life, but if it's too much, then back off for now. You don't have to stay out of their life, but do it in the conventional way. Meet for coffee, phone them - stay civil with your ex(es), that way you won't have to stalk them.

6. It's distracting you from what's important ~ You've probably gone on that social network page a million times, just waiting, watching, obsessing, that you've blown off things that are faaaar more important; like your work or something similar..

7. You CAN remain friends with them ~ You know this, right? So instead of stalking their Instagram page, why don't you two meet up - as friends - and just get along. That way, you're in their life and you'll still be apart of those special moments in their life.

8. Your eyes are going to start hurting ~ I'm half joking - think off all that straining you're putting on your eyes, just to see that they tweeted: "Crackers are cracking"* (*Not a real tweet, sadly).

9. "Do it for all of the people that always have stood right by your side!"  ~ Thanks, Trapdoor Social for the lyric! Yes, if it ended badly, your loved ones who stood by you would not want you to put yourself through this. Focus on these people - they care the most!

10. You're too good for them anyway ~ Tell yourself that! You're great I'm guessing, hence why you're here..

Sooooo, there you have it! Stop with the virtual stalking and go outside and have fun. Shit, that doesn't mean physically stalk them. Ahh, furk. I'm going to have to do a '10 Reasons NOT to Physically Stalk Your Ex', aren't I?

Toodles :)