Friday, 31 January 2014

Jelly Baby January: A Reflection

My Schneckens!
I met Rudolph Walker today. That was fun. I really should have more to say about it but I don't. I met Patrick Trueman from EastEnders - that's hecka dope.

Rest in Peace, Colonel.
Have a scotch on me x
Yet, it is with great sadness that I write these words today. Colonel Meow passed away the other day. I know to some he was just a cat, but he was more than that to me. He made me smile.

Well, we've reached the end of the month, and crikey, what a month it has been! I've had ups and downs, and sides more outrageous than gravy with chips. That didn't even make any sense. Why would chips 'n' gravy be outrageous? Honestly! It has been a good month though; full of laughs that even I can't quite explain. The language lessons are going well, and I've embraced some ambitions - dayum, that skirt! Let us recap the month, shall we?

Also, the title has nothing to do with anything. Well, expect for the lack of jelly babies - I miss those little treats from heaven. Omnomnom.

JANUARY: A REFLECTION

I spent the whole month listening to Lorde, Paloma Faith, Lana Del Rey and Avicii. I don't quite know why I'm so into these guys at the moment, but I'm furking loving it. Lorde could literally be Lana Del Rey's love child (with Benny Batch, obvs!), and be Paloma Faith's niece or something! As for Avicii, well, I just think his music is so amazingly catchy I just don't know how to function. 'Addicted To You' is probably one of the greatest songs ever, and it kindaaaaa relates to my life right now. Don't judge me, you schnecken!

    

Even though I have been a tad emotionally unstable for about a quarter of the month, I've had a furking good time. I mean, anything Sherlock related with my friends has been so fly! Hecka fly. Why do I talk like this? I dunno. But yes, I partied with my friends like it was 1975, because that's the band that we all seemed to connect with one another this month. Discovering that other schneckens too enjoyed 'Falling For You' was a surprise and a half. But yay, friendship! Also, this month saw the creation of 'The Game'. Yes. 'The Game'. It is the game that makes no sense, but somehow you think you're winning. I think, I think, I may be losing, purely because I am convinced everyone is playing it. Yet again, maybe that's my tactics: remember, you can't beat me at my own game...

This month has also had many personal achievements. For instance, 20+ weeks pull free! My studies have been well-ish. I mean, Drama has been really good. I've enjoyed English and I'm still tolerating History. But Drama! Henry V and Lysistrata, well, that's quite the combo. I make a good director, evidently... Shit, where's the evidence? Furk.

I haven't got much else to say that I haven't said already. Plus, I had a nap and can't remember what I was doing. February should be fun because I am going to satirise the banana bread out of valentines. Obvs, I'm doing a Beyoncé this year, but screw it. I have Camp Takota to look forward to, and other amazing Grace Helbig, Mamrie Hart and Hannah Hart stuff to look forward to. Speaking, of Grace Helbig, how epic has her new channel been?! I love it! Here's hoping that Zoella makes a visit soon. The real one. Not the fly one. Although, the fly one would be pretty fly. Anyhow, what am I going on about? Oh right, how I'm alone this valentines month, baring my friends cos they're lonely schneckens too. Meh, Camp Takota! Plus, in my mind I am with George Watsky. What else could a schnecken want? Unicorns.

 
Toodles:)

Thursday, 30 January 2014

Words

Hey, how ya doin'? Sorry you can't get through. Why don't you leave your name and your number? And we'll get back to you!

What? Hey, Schneckens!
Early bird special today because I'm out tonight, dancing with wolves. Not really. That would be weird. And slightly crazy. And dangerous. But I like the thrill and the rush, so...

He said whaaat?
Today I wanted to talk about something that may surprise people because I'm not one who embraces stereotypical views. Yet today, I did. What happened was that my friend used the 'C' word, and I was horrified. I personally believe that word should not be said in front of a lady. Well, it shouldn't be said full stop, but especially not in front of a female. I don't know what this makes me, and I'm not one to full into these kinda gender views. I just personally believe that a word like that shouldn't be said, in front of a woman, because it is offensive. Maybe it depends on the individual, but I find it incredibly offensive, even if it's not directed at me.

Whaaat?!
This got me thinking about what we say to people. I sometimes say things without thinking it through, and then I have to face the hideous consequences. Well, not hideous, that's a slight exaggeration, but still! But at the same time, is it the word that's offensive, or the way it's said? This has been intriguing me for a while now. Nonetheless, we have to be really careful about what we say, and how we say it. Moreover, we have to think about what we don't say. It's easy just to leave it, or write a note, but come on! I don't know where I'm going with this, I just wanted to discuss this thought. I was deeply offended by that word, even if it wasn't directed at me. Does this make me wrong? Are my views wrong? I don't know. But what I do know is that we need to respect the individual involved, and try not to hurt/offend them.

Yeah, that's a good way to end this rather unexpected post.

Toodles :)

Wednesday, 29 January 2014

"I Want All The Males On Their Knees!"

Schneckens!!
It was a weird day today. It was a hella lot better than yesterday, but I still had moments. I felt quite anxious today, to the point where I was near a panic attack. Luckily, I regained control of my breathing and calmed down. Whew. So thank you, Eliana and Alanta, for being there to breath with me, and thanks to Josephine for letting me talk nonsense to her as an escape route. You schneckens are pretty damn fly, so thank you!

Lysistrata was the focus of Drama today. Drama was just...Crikey! Firstly, I got an A in my exam! Yay! Then after that, things just got weird and awkward. For anyone who has never read, or seen, Lysistrata, it is about a bunch of women putting a sex ban on the men so they would stop the Peloponnesian War. So when given the task to direct a tableaux based on one of the 10 key moments, I instantly knew I was going to have to be apart of something extremely awkward. It started off relatively normal, with me being Lysistrata for the most part, until Chris decided I'd had enough fun (damn, Schnecken!). I had to stand proud and that kinda thing, but that was fine. I didn't have to engage in any awks 'flirty/seductive' moments, unlike Alanta and Tyrell. That was funny! José did make me stand on a chair though, and I was 85% sure that Henry was trying to kill me. It was rather fun, overall, I mean, its kinda fun being part of something like that. Not death, I mean, being part of someone's idea.

"Where's the 'awks'?" I hear you cry, well I'll tell you. I had to direct a tableaux where EVERYONE was SEXUALLY FRUSTRATED. I could not take this seriously! How can I look at them and tell them I want them to look like they're horny schneckens that desperately want a ... Naawhwj. No. No. No. Nyet. I did it anyway. Given the power to get all the men of their knees, longing for sex, was rather fun. I like how everyone just did it. I could've told them to do anything and they probably would've done it. How sweet! So, that happened. Then karma bitch slapped me hard across the face because the next tableaux, directed by Alanta, was the celebration of the sex ban being lifted. Therefore, we all had a pair in which we had to convey the joy that we could...yeah. I'm far too awkward for that kinda thang. I mean, I can't handle people touching me and all that jazz, so this was gonna be more awks than a turtle trying to get up. I kinda feel bad for Sylvester that he got stuck with me, again,(Berlin Wall throwback!) because I am too socially awkward to function. But Alanta made it easy for me, so, win? Win what? I have no clue.
 
Aaaaand that's it. I think I mentioned everyone in my class in this. No? Fineee, other fly members included Zoe, Kiera and Ruby, who all did a fly job with their directing. I'm gonna go now, I want some juice. Did I just spend a whole blog talking about Drama? Wow.

Toodles :)

Tuesday, 28 January 2014

Broken

Hello.
It is with great sadness that I write these words today. I'm not myself; and I don't think I have been for a while now. Granted, I have been quite cheery and kooky like I usually am, but a part of me has spiralled out of control; far beyond what I can actually handle.

I hurt myself today. I hurt myself in ways that no human being should ever have to go through. It wasn't entirely physical, it was more emotional. I had thoughts that I shouldn't have; my mind became so consumed by one thing that I just snapped and tried to escape. I ran away from my problem and despite being amongst a rather large crowd, I, despite how cliché, felt incredibly lonely. I'm not going to blame those with me and say "why didn't they try to find me?", because that wouldn't be right. I didn't leave because I wanted them to say something, I did it because I couldn't cope anymore. Yes, I'm evidently not coping, and if that couldn't be seen, then I can't do much. I suffer in silence because then no one knows how weak I really am. Sure, I put on hysterics. But if I didn't have them, what else do I have? I jokingly say how I feel through these hysterics to hide the fact that I'm close to the brink of destruction. So yes, somehow I went off topic there. I left those around me, and one person cared enough about my whereabouts. I'm not blaming the others; they didn't know, and that's fine, despite how low that makes me feel.

It did change my perception though. I know who are my friends, and who aren't. A friend isn't a word you give to someone. It's someone who is there for you. They're there through the dark days, as well as the good. They are there without asking. They want to be with you to have a laugh. They care.

Now I'm at rock bottom. I am broken. I'm an addict seeking a rush that I can never have. I'm on the verge of self destruction and only I can save myself now. Yes, I have those who truly care about me by my side, but it's up to me now. I have to take control now. I need friends who will support me no matter what. Don't say you will, please. I don't want another lie. Please, please, please just prove it to me. Call me, text me, ask how I am, notice when I'm down, don't feed my habit - treat it like an addiction. The next few weeks are going to be hideous, it will be like going 'cold turkey'. So please be there for me. Prove you're there. I can't do it on my own anymore. But not just me. Anyone reading this, let someone out there know you care. Sometimes we don't know how people really feel. Show someone you care, even it's something simple like a smile. Show you are there, no matter what.

I promise tomorrow will be a lot more cheery, even if I'm smiling when I'm close to tears. The show must go on, and I have a whole life out there just waiting to be lived.

Toodles :)

Monday, 27 January 2014

With This Crown I Am...

Schneckens!!

Hello, it is Monday, and man, I hate Mondays! Actually, it wasn't that bad today. Dare I say it, I really enjoyed myself. Damn, geese.

Henry V really likes cats.
It was peculiar, particularly Drama. I am fairly convinced people thought I was under the influence of "magic juice" because I was so upbeat that one wouldn't believe it was a Monday morning. We got to wear hats, symbolising a crown, because we had to imagine that we were Henry V in numerous situations. Just to give an insight to this lesson, and how crazy it was, I was portraying a wild Henry who gets hammered and takes two women to his bedchamber. I also played the kid version of him where he went to his father's dungeon (kinky!) and slapped José numerous times. I tried to slap Ruby too, but she kept moving. Either way, José was privileged to be slapped by me. The other's were equally strange, because Eliana's portrayal of kid Henry reminded me of a demon child. Actually, the way she spoke reminded me of that kid in one of those Shrek movies (THIS kid: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gWbaDmzCu8g). This is why I am #TeamEliana. Finally, concluding this rather long paragraph on Henry V, I just want to say one thing. My class is just weird.

Aaaand the only other interesting lesson I had was English, because History was okay, but boring as a mule. A mule? What kinda phrase is that? I think I'm the schnecken. Especially since I sent the wrong texts to numerous people today. Awks. Anyway, back on topic, yes, English. Radders seemed to imply that in a few years time I will be on the news for stalking. I wouldn't say a few years, give it a few months! The lesson also consisted of me eating a salad and trying to get a Frankenstein rap battle. Woo.

Can I go now? I have to do Henry V. WAIT. THAT SOUNDS WRONG. But evidently, after my portrayal of Henry V, I think we can all agree that things can get kinda kinky when that guy's in the loop.

Toodles :)

Sunday, 26 January 2014

Camouflage Review (Feat. Mother)

Happy Sunday, Schneckens!
Also, since it is the 26th as I write this, Happy Australia Day to the rest of the world!

I said I would go all Grace Helbig on my friends and do a review of my friend's short film; 'Camouflage'...With my Mother. Yes, folks. I am going to do a review with my Mother. Since Mother is new to the blogging world, and reviewing world, one can only imagine what will happen. Well, let's find out, shall we?
 http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sQVaZ1LhiRk

Me
Mother

So, let's start with the beginning. What did you think of the start?
I thought the colours for the title were cleverly chosen because it showed the element of a camouflage. It was ironic though how it's meant to be camouflaged, yet it stands out.
Do you think there's a reason for it?
Probably, but it's up to interpretation.

The use of colour is limited in this piece, particular at the start - did you find this effective?
Yes, I really liked when there's colour for the advertisements. It looked like they were trying to say how ads are forced upon people and give a certain perspective in life.
Almost like it's exaggerated and overly beautiful and perfect?

Did you like the voiceovers?
The male's voice created a huge impacted - it really got my attention. If I was going to do a you [N.B. Overanalyse things] I would say it represents the nature of advertisements and the media because it felt as if he was pulling you to a certain direction. The girl's felt a little lacklustre in comparison.
Do you think, however, it represent the vulnerability of the girl (and society) in the video?
Probably, but again, up to interpretation. Look at you trying to find a reason for everything.

At times, they use series of pictures. Did you like that?
I found it clever! How did they know when to use them in tune with the music?
I'm sure they had to plan it.
The parts when she's in public and they use the pictures it's really effective because it's like they're trying to say something about the media. I don't know what though, before you ask. I like it though. When she's stripping the pictures are clever because, for me, it was like they were saying that in order to be accepted, you have to sell yourself and lose all shame.
I like that idea. I wasn't too keen on the magazine picture - where she's on it. It seemed a bit obvious, to be fair. I can understand why they did it, but I don't know, they could've done something that really puts the message across. Even if it meant that the girl didn't look so happy. She did look too happy for someone who had to change.

The music! What did you think? I personally loved it, but I love dub-step.
I understand why they used it, and for the audience, which I'm assuming is your age, it worked well. But if you're my age, it doesn't really relate to me so much.
You're fly though, Mother!

The setting. Did you find it significant?
I did when it was the ads, and when they were in public.
Why?
Because they tend to be full of ads that you can't ignore. Oh, and the mirror bits - that was beautiful! It was like she can't escape from it all wherever she goes. The bathroom? Why would she change in a public bathroom? It's a tad odd!

What do you think the message is? Obviously, I've worked with them, so I know what it's about, but for you and this is the first time you've watched it - what do you think it's about?
What did you do again?
I was in charge of the social media! Hence this review!!
Fine, calm down. Well done for that (!) Was it about young people being pressured to change for others to fit in?
I dunno, it's all up to interpretation...
Is it?
Pretty much! Did you like that message?
Yes, I mean, I don't want you to feel pressured to change, but I know that younger people do because of the media and people around you.
Is this about the skirt (!)

Finally, anything you want to say?
The credits were a bit fast. But apart from that, I liked it. I didn't know you could film in the Underground though.

If you had to rate this, how fly would you say it was.
What?
How fly was it?
*Mother walks out*

I'm gonna give it a 'very fly'. Well done, gals! Hope you like this review.

Toodles :)

Saturday, 25 January 2014

The Problem with Shopping...

Hey, I just met you, and this is crazy. But I want those damn shoes, so buy them for me. No maybes about it. Buy them for me. NOW.

Sorry. After years of rejecting my female stereotype, I have finally embraced it and now I love shopping. I love it too much. I want that skirt. I want that dress. I want those shoes. But. But. When will I wear them? They cost how much?! I already have enough cardigans!! Woe, is me! Boo.


Today, after a trip to the library and writing my Stalin project, I went shopping. This time, I thought practically and went to by some bras. Yes, bras. Sorry if that's a shock to my audience, but yes, this female bought some more bras. I always feel awkward buying any form of under garments because it is weird. I don't want people knowing what size I am, what I'm wearing beneath my clothes. Nooo. But today I had the courage, and because there was a female at the till. Plus, the shop was practically empty so I could do it and not get potentially seen by someone I know. Buying bras, or any from of lingerie, is a really difficult process. I mean, I spent a good while just looking at what was available. First you gotta look for size. There's no point getting your hopes up if it isn't in your size. Then material. Buying lace always, well in my mind anyways, gets attention because what's it for? Or more specifically, who's is for? Once the material is decided, then it is the colour. I found this particularly hard today because the colours and patterns were all on different sides of the spectrum. I wanted to avoid any plain colours - like black, red and white, because I already have them, but I didn't want the nude colour, or pink, because they just look weird. I mean, the pink looked like a 15 year old's bra (I was 15 once, you dirty minded schneckens!) and the nude was just hideous! So that left patterns, since I had the other colours - and blue was a push up bra - now that would raise questions! The leopard print was just, no, no, no. Flowers are a bit meh. So in the end, I went for some simple pattern that completed the black. It looked sexy, but shouldn't raise any questions cos it looks pretty casual at the same time.


Also, online shopping is just a piss take. By online shopping, I mean buying tickets. Just to brag, I bought Jon Richardson tickets yesterday! Furk yeah!!



What really annoyed me was the timing. Why do I have to be timed? I understand why, but I don't get it. Once you get to the credit card details and stuff, or even the home address, the timer should be stopped. Its pretty evident I want them by this stage, so stop timing me! In the end though, I ordered my tickets and I am a step closer to seeing Jon Richardson ^^

Anyhoo, I should go now, its a Saturday night and I need to finish my essays. Happy Saturday, folks! Plus, Happy Australia Day, to my Australian friends. And Happy Tatiana Day, to my Russian chums!

Toodles :)

Friday, 24 January 2014

Quit 'Stalin' and start 'Russian' about. Oh, and 'Putin' some effort!

Helloooo.
I'm not going to lie, there isn't a lot for me to write about today. What?! I know, and I'm sorry. But truthfully, today, I've done very little in terms of interest. I have spent today working, particularly on my Stalin project. I finally feel as if I am getting somewhere with it, which is grand! More grand than the Grand Alliance that swiftly fell apart; more swiftly than one of Taylor Swift's relationships. Ooooh, meow!

RAWR


But yes, so not a lot to say. Tomorrow will probably be the same, but it is also my nan's birthday. So, happy birthday, nan! I shall celebrate it through essays. Essays. Reading. And a hot chocolate. Dayum, I love hot chocolate. Might have one tonight as I read Lysistrata - a lot of innuendos in that play! Reminds me of the good ol' days. Ahh, bliss.

I'm gonna go now. It's pizza night, and I lurrve pizza.

Toodles :)

Thursday, 23 January 2014

ZOELLA!

I've said "Zoella" so many times today, I just don't think I can say it anymore...
ok. One more time. Zoella!!

I had my history exam today. That's all I'm going to say. Oh, that and this.


Why couldn't everyone just get along?!
But, it wasn't all doom and gloom. I mean, I had a rather fun day. Rather indeed. Indeed. In. Deed. I had a milkshake, and I think it is getting to me. Damn, it was nice though. Banana flavoured. Am I really discussing a milkshake right now? For goodness sake, what the fudge? But dayum. It was a good milkshake.

Moving on. Camouflage time, folks. They have, by the looks of it, finished their short film, and my goodness, it is sick! The music!!! OHMYGIDDYGOOSE, I LOVE IT. You're just waiting for the base to drop and when it does:



For me, I thought the music was perfect for the video. I didn't expect it at all! It represented the inner turmoil of wanting to be accepted, but not wanting to let go of what one is. In my opinion, it was like the heart racing, and the mind in overdrive, trying to decide about what to do. It was epic. Simples.
Here's a link. Do check it out! I mean it. It truly is amazing, and it all goes towards their final grade. Good job, gals!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sQVaZ1LhiRk




Erm. What else? Fineeeeee. Here's the glorious milkshake in all it's amazing glory. Oh, and some lovely grapes and strawberries. Whoa, those strawberries were juicy. More juicy than club Tropicana, where I hear the drinks are free. Apparently. Probably not.



 
OH. AND ZOELLA!
Not the real one, of course. Ms Carrick 'Zoella.' The only person I know in the whole entire world that still says fly.


 
See, they look similar. I'm not crazy. Well, I am. But... I don't know where I'm going with this..
 
Toodles :)
 
P.S. Hi, Zoe!



Wednesday, 22 January 2014

Ruby Sandwich

*Turn off the lights. Turn them off. I don't want to be seen right now.*
I got tipsy last night.

Yes, tipsy, not drunk. I remember everything clearly and I didn't do anything stupid. Well, apart from playing the Sherlock drinking game, of course. That was stupid. What? You've not played?!

Well, here's the rules:

 1. Pick a character (Sherlock, obvs)
2. Pick a fetish (Neck, obvs)
3. Take a shot every time that fetish is visable.
...furk.
 Despite the impression I gave in my tweets/texts/phone calls etc, I watched 'A Scandal in Belgravia', and well, hence my tipsiness. I didn't get drunk, and here's why - I am not stupid enough to play seriously. Honestly, guise!

So, yes. That's what happened. My highlight of the whole thing though had to be my drunk conversations with people on my phone; mostly everyone in my phone got a text. Except my parents. Obvs. And some peeps I knew wouldn't respond. The winner of the best conversation had to be my son, Ruby, who engaged in a conversation so random, even I can't explain it.

For instance:
Me: Did you miss me?
Ru: Fak. Hey Jim. Ohmygod. Jimmeh! It was you!
Me: It was me all along. Along. nyet! Idk.
Ru: "Along. No!" - denial maybe?
Me: Along = way to go. Go where? Anywhere. You ^^
Ru: make me feel like I'm living a teenage dream?
LAWL. Plus:
Ru: Eton mess :3
Me: Elton?
Ru: Elton made a mess
Me: Is he still standing?
Ru: I tink so
Me: I CAME IN LIKE A WRECKING BALL
Ru: Oh gosh now Miley made a mess
LAWL.

Other highlights include my friend, Tanaka:
Me: Hey! I just met you and this is crazy, but I like to sell sperm on the internet..
Ta: (...) hey I just met u and this is crazy but I like to buy sperm on the Internet maybe

I also said "Happy newish year" to a lot of people. One person had a serious convo - well, the best he could with a tipsy schnecken, whereas others were like "Dafuq?" etc. One had a convo about Russia. Apparently I'm Russian. One final text highlight was me forgetting that I had asked about video, and when he responded "What video?" I was like, "Idk, you brought it up" WTF. That made me lol harder than I should have.

OOOH. Before I got tipsy, I had a phone conversation with my other Ruby, and then a tweet session. Here are the highlights:

@Smileeeeyface99 IIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII SEGWAY IIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII
18h its coz i'm asian init?

@Smileeeeyface99 IF THE FISH WOULD MOVE, THE DISH WOULD GROOVE
 
Ruby McGuire @maybellepepsi 18h
 
A lot of #Stoper
A lot of bludders.
 
I just don't know anymore.
 
Toodles :)

Tuesday, 21 January 2014

Too Far?

HELLOOOOO. And welcome to the Mon- wait, no. I'm not Nice Peter. He is great though.

Well, why am I here today..apart from the fact I blog everyday? I guess it is because *begins to laugh* I've kinda gone...crazy. Emotionally crazy, that is. How? Why? What dafuq? Lemme tell you..

Basically, last night, my friend gave me something and I, being a stupid schnecken, fully embraced and found out some alarming things. Alarming because it is turning me into this:



I now have an unwanted power that could shatter everything about the way I've been going about my business. This is alarming because I know I can get away with it. I can't say what I've done, or what I know, but rest assured, it is all legal. I think? Yes, it is. It is, I checked. It is also turning me into a bit of a jealous schnecken who wants to fulfil that insatiable desire that's been brewing for some time now.

To be fair though, it has literally been brewing for months, this emotional melt down, but I haven't exactly tried to calm it down. I've been tempting it more, actually. I kinda hope that if I am going to do what I hope I won't do, that will be it. Because let me tell you something, it is driving me cray cray. I joke about it, but literally, this girl cannot function probably. Surely I can't go any further... Right?

RIGHT?!

Toodles :)

Monday, 20 January 2014

THAT Mock Paper. Furk.

Hi.
Sorry, that sounded kinda rude. Hellooooo! I'm not angry with you, in fact you've been rather swell. Hope you had a lovely weekend and enjoyed my 'Lists'. I had very little to discuss. Well, now I'm back to normal, and I am so pissed off right now that it might turn into a gothic novel in here.

WHAT THE HECK WAS UP WITH THAT PAPER?!

Embedded image permalink

Even though it was a mock, I am fuming that that mark is going to be looked upon and judged furiously. I am so angry! What's made more angry is the circumstances. Firstly, we were trolled! Okay, that's a poor excuse; in the real thing we won't have that advantage of knowing the question. But what really pissed me off is that, during an exam, there are people that are in the room to make sure you don't cheat, hand out papers etc etc. I forget what they're called. Well, one of them, decides to ask me TWO questions, TWO pointless questions whilst I am trying to answer the question. The first question was if the name she was pointing to, my name. Well, no shit, Sherlock. Look at the ID Card on the table - big give away there. Secondly, "is this your pen?" What?! WHAT?! I am writing something, and you decide to ask me that. At first, I thought she asked if she could use the pen for someone else, which would be slightly more acceptable, but no. "Is this your pen?" I have 3 other pens on my desk, I have a working one now, I don't give a flying fuck if that is my pen, don't ask me when I am writing. Thanks to her, I lost my train of thought, and couldn't remember the point I was trying to make. Thanks you idiotic imbecile. Go furk yourself!

Okay, I'm going now because I am so pissed off and I have to prepare for furking history.

Toodles :)

Sunday, 19 January 2014

8 THINGS I HATE ABOUT THE A2 ENGLISH LITERATURE EXAM

"It was on a dreary night of November, that I beheld the accomplishments of my toils."

...One quote remembered. Bet you, however, I'm probably not going to need it in the exam. Still got "ardent" though. And "yellow" - colours tend to be useful. Or "Alps", "icy", "mountains". Or just any reference to the Monster, like "wretch", "daemon". Furk. I am not ready for this exam. In honour for this mock - yes, its only a mock, yet the amount of fear pumping through my veins, which makes the "blood curdle" and something about the quickening of the "heart"- Here are 8 things I hate about A2 English Literature Exams:

8 THINGS I HATE ABOUT THE A2 ENGLISH LITERATURE EXAM:

1. It is a furking closed book exam ~ That means, no book! NO BOOK! I have to remember numerous quotes, yet not knowing if they will be useful or not. Also, there are 3 BOOKS - Frankenstein, Macbeth and The Bloody Chamber.

2. We haven't finished studying the texts yet [For the mock, obvs not for the real thing - that's in the Summer] ~ I know, I know, independent studying is key for this exam, and I am doing it. But I still have a bunch of queries, some that I don't even know I have yet, about the texts. How do I exam like this?!

3. The texts are ok ~ Frankenstein was terrible, Macbeth is meh and The Bloody Chamber is hit and miss with some stories. Combine all of them and you get this:



4. When do I use 'Transgression'? ~ I think I get it, and I know it is a gothic concept, but when do I use it? Do I use it? I see it used a lot. I'm assuming it's a good thing to use.. I DON'T KNOW. *cries on the pile of exemplar essays*

5. 'Tom Murray' ~ He was that guy in our school who walked away with furking amazing results and everyone won't stop banging on about it. He did, however, flop his January exam.. Is the chances of this happening to us - the failure, then the success - high? Probably not. Furrk.

6. The CRAAAZY grade boundaries ~ Its only how much to get a B?! Then why can't we get it?! HOW MUCH FOR AN A?! Furk this, I'm outta here.

7. What is good context? ~ Is it acceptable to bang on about the sublime? Can I talk about the feminist movement? I know I can talk about the Romantics. And for Macbeth?... shit. Sublime?

8. 2 questions, 2 hours ~ To be fair, that's not so bad in comparison to my other exams, but since English Lit is the subject where you're more likely to ramble on, what if I run out of time?! Hopefully this won't happen, it hasn't so far. But if it does...FURK.

Ze end. This is what I hate the most. I think. I just don't know anymore. Good luck to anyone taking that paper or similar. Just think, if Frankenstein could make a Monster, Macbeth got trolled by some witches and The Bloody Chamber talks about S&M, how bad can this mock be?



Toodles :)

Saturday, 18 January 2014

18 THINGS I ALREADY LIKE ABOUT JANUARY

Yo, yo, yo!

Wait, why did I just 'yo'? I think I'm having a mid life crisis..

To spice up my life, and to fill the awkwardness that will probably emerge every month (I will run out of topics), I, on the 18th of every month, will talk about 18 things that I already like about the month. "Why?", I hear you call out. Well, a lot of things happen when you're 18. Big landmark. Its bigger than the sky! ... moving on ...

18 THINGS I ALREADY LIKE ABOUT JANUARY:

1. Sherlock - Bit obvious if you're a regular to my blogs. I've pretty much been Sherlocked. No denying it. Even had a Sherlock Shindig this month. Pretty fly.

2. Lorde - I kinda liked Royals last year, but it didn’t really get me into Lorde. This month, however, I went on a YouTube music binge, listened to 'Tennis Court', and BOOM. I'm hooked. 'Pure Heroine' is a pretty fly album, just sayin'...

3. Totoro (?) Hats - I have no furking clue what a 'Totoro' is, I'm assuming it is an anime related thing, but I wore my friend's hat the other day, and it was adorbs.

Dat Hat...fly.
4. Benji Flack - He's also my friend's cat. Never met him in my life before, but after meeting him, I am certain that if I was a real cat, I would date him. Actually, no. He's dating Snibbs. Snibbs and Benji 5ever!

5. The Video to 'Paper Doll' by John Mayer - I actually forgot about this, until my YT music binge, then I couldn't stop watching it. My goodness, he trolled us. Great song too.

6. Finding unexpected stuff - I just found my wire to connect my phone to my laptop, and I found money in my Oyster card carrier. Yay!

7.  IISuperwomanII [YouTuber] - The usual YT binge, then I found her, and my gawd, I couldn't stop laughing. Fav video had to be stages of a breakup, or anything crush related, just because they are so lol-tastic.

8. Great British Bake Off for Sports Relief - I like seeing celebrities bake, especially when they are pretty crap at it. Even better when they burn holes in the carpet. It's all for the name of charity though!

9. Mary Berry - The woman is just an icon; a legend. Plus, she likes lemon drizzle cake, which I am amazing at. Winning.

10. 'The Game' - Yep, the game that makes no sense, but I am totally winning. You can't beat me at my own game...

11. Celebrity Big Brother - I am so ashamed of myself, but my gawd. It is so tacky, so fake, but I don't care. It is hilarious. That "love triangle", the horniness... Sheeeit. A quick fix of cheap entertainment, folks! You'll hate yourself for watching it, but you don't care.

Pudge the cat is best cat 12. Pudge the Cat ^^ - She finally has her own show, and it is adorbs. A DIY show. Even better. I love Pudge. And she's part of the Cat Pack. Even better!

13. 'London Girl' Nail Polish - I can't imagine life without painted nails now because of it. Currently rocking a dark, pink colour. Probably change it to red soon. Love red nails.

14. Diaries - My childhood diary was just hilarious. If I started one now, it wouldn't be the same in 10+ years, but it would be interesting to know how emotionally cray cray I was.

15. Twitter - It brings everyone together during a last minute panic, and it is the only place where talking excessively about giraffes is acceptable. Albeit, you still look kinda crazy.

16. Shindigs - More specifically, Sherlock Shindigs. I think the only thing Sherlocky though was the actual show itself, but we were all part of the game, and the game never ends. Sherlock gets it.

17. The word 'Peculiar' - It's still better than member. And a hecka lot better than ... 'moist'. *shudder*

Aaaaaand finally, 18. Leonardo DiCaprio Oscar Memes and shiz - They're just hilarious. I mean, I want him to win the Oscar because he is a talented actor, but at the same time, they're pretty funny.

The Internet Really Wants Leonardo DiCaprio To Win An Oscar

So...that was my 18 things I already like about January! They're are loads more, and will certainly be more in the rest of the month, but these take this biscuit so far. I'll see you for the next list, next month. And I'll see you tomorrow for a normal blog post, with extra gravy. Sunday is funday. And what is a funday without gravy? Unicorns.

Toodles :)

Friday, 17 January 2014

"Do you see a sunny day? Yes, or no?" - Sherlock Shindig!

I had an exam today. Shall we just leave it at that then..

Today I went on a magical journey. But magical, I mean kooky. Firstly, I went to Ruby's house. Saw Benji. He's pretty fly when he's not hiding from us (he's going to find Snibbs, obvs). Ruby's house was so lovely; kinda felt like 'Escape to the Country'. Then...then... We went to Tesco! Once stocked up, we - Myself, Ruby and Josephine, went to my place and partied hard. By party hard, I mean, we ate and gossiped. Obvs.

THEN. Ruby 'The First' came over, and we continued to party hard. Well, we gossiped and prepared for the ground breaking moment. Sherlock. HSIKSOLFDOLDOL. Then, to one's surprise, José (aka. Salvador) and Sylvester (aka. Felix) came round for the Sherlockness. It took a while for us to actually start watching it because we were all rather engrossed with my diary. Yes. My diary. The diary from my youth. Here are some highlights - no spoilers for those who haven't read it!

"Today is a sunny day. Some days are not sunny."
"Look at the sun the sun is hot [sic]"
"Sems of trees [sic]"
"My hir is not kirl [sic]"
"Today was a God day and a sunny day look at it *picture* [sic]"
"No."

Ahhhh. That was hilarious. We also had a few paranormal activities. Well, not really. It was the washing machine guys. Also, the sudden return of my parents startled some of the guests - never have I seen someone bolt up that quickly. LAWLS. We also trolled him with "cats". Although, he did say he would fix my shed for free...I might take him up on that. And by the end of it, we watched the last episode of Sherlock and it was jskfsolsdfp;dp;. Well, for most of us anyway. There's always one...

I should probably go now. Got a lot of shit to do. Woo!

Toodles :)



 



 






 
 



 

 *A selection of pictures taken by myself and the Rubys. You decide who took what..*